𝑀𝑦 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 | 𝐶ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔

Chapter 2

"Jisungie~" Chenle collapsed onto Jisung's bed, "Help me."

"No."

Jisung kept his eyes on his phone even as Chenle crawled across the bed, reaching out for Jisung with one hand. The older male grabbed Jisung's arm, the one that was keeping his phone from falling onto his face as he lay down, forcing him to look up from his phone and at Chenle if he didn't want to feel the pain of having his phone hit his nose.

"Sungie! You don't even know what I need your help with." Chenle continued to whine, "Aren't you at least going to ask before you refuse to help me?"

"You're so annoying," Jisung muttered, making sure it was loud enough for Chenle to hear, but he was smiling as he spoke, which took all the heat out of his comment.

"You didn't say no~."

"Okay, fine!" Jisung exclaimed, his tone bordering on exasperated. Even when he was annoyed at Chenle, he still couldn't find it in himself to be mean to the brunette boy. "What did you do this time? Why do you need my help?"

"Hey! Why do you automatically assume it's something I did?" Chenle retorted, crossing his arms across his chest and pouting in Jisung's direction.

Jisung didn't reply. He was too caught up in observing Chenle's adorable expression to be able to think about anything other than how much he wanted to hold the older male in his arms and never let him go. He was definitely far too lost in his internal cooing to be able to formulate a proper sentence that didn't consist of "aw", "uwu" and little squeals of adoration.

"It's for Haeun," Chenle finally admitted after a short pause. He sounded nervous, which was unlike him, and so despite every one of Jisung's instincts yelling at him not to help Chenle with anything that involved the older males girlfriend, he pushed away his own hurt feelings for the sake of his friendship with the brunette male, "It's our 1 month anniversary. I want to do something special for her."

Jisung softened at the expression on his best friend's face.

He didn't have the right to be upset towards Chenle simply because the male had found someone who loved and cherished him the way he deserved. He didn't have the right to blame Chenle for his own broken heart when Jisung had done everything in his power to keep it hidden from everyone around him.

Jisung's unhappiness wasn't Chenle's fault, nor was it Haeun's. It was his own fault for having fallen in love with someone who was unavailable to him for many reasons. Even if Chenle hadn't been dating Haeun, even if Jisung somehow found the courage hidden deep inside of himself to confess his feelings, the chance of Chenle reciprocating his feelings was little to none.

Jisung had a list made up in his head, one he had created on the day of Chenle's first official date with Haeun. It consisted of the 3 reasons for which Chenle would never be romantically available to Jisung.

1. He was straight.

That was the major elephant in the room, was it not? Jisung couldn't simply change Chenle's sexuality by going 'hey, it would be great if you could stop being straight'.

2. He was dating Haeun.

Jisung was torn between wanting Chenle and Haeun to break up in order to spare him the pain of having to watch them interact each day, and wanting Chenle and Haeun to stay together in order to spare Chenle the pain of a breakup with someone he clearly loved.

3. Chenle didn't know that Jisung was gay.

It wasn't that Jisung didn't trust Chenle, far from it. It wasn't that he thought Chenle wouldn't accept his sexuality either. He knew that Chenle would accept him no matter what, and besides, out of their friend group there were five who were out and proud, and Jisung had never once heard anything but support from Chenle.

It was more that he hadn't yet found a way to casually bring up the topic, and whenever he summoned the courage they were always interrupted by something going wrong.

"Jisungie," Chenle said, his voice a tone lower this time, "I need advice from my best friend right now. Not from anyone else, even if they would all have more dating experience than you. You're the one who watches romance dramas with me and listens when I go on long rants about the perfect date. You know me better than anyone, and right now I'm too nervous about messing up to remember all those dates I planned in my head."

"I need you." Chenle finished.

"Okay fine, I'll help you," Jisung relented. He was going to be a good friend for Chenle no matter what, because losing him wasn't an option. Jisung wouldn't be able to live, and it was better to have Chenle as a friend rather than not at all. "I'll help you plan the perfect anniversary date for Haeun. She'll love it, I promise."

- 🐥 & 🐬 -

Jisung opened his text chat with Chenle, staring at the brightly lit screen for a long moment. The screen darkened, warning Jisung that he hadn't moved in quite some time and his phone was going to turn off automatically in a few seconds if he didn't do anything.

Without giving himself any more time to wallow in his self-pitying, depressive, and frankly annoying thoughts, he quickly typed out a message. It was short and simple, definitely not something Jisung should have felt nervous to send Chenle, his best friend, who had gotten long paragraphs from Jisung over text in the past.

He sent the text message the moment he had finished typing, without giving himself enough time to send so much as a single glance towards the message, just in case doing so would lead to Jisung losing his bravery.

He threw his phone down onto his bed, watching it bounce once before coming to a stop on his pillow.

Jisung grabbed a fluffy white blanket decorated with small pink butterflies and wrapped it tightly around himself until he was fully cocooned in the warmth.

He tried to focus on something other than Chenle and Haeun's anniversary date. He tried not to think about the fact that Chenle was taking Haeun out on a date, the perfect date, that Jisung had helped him plan. Chenle and Haeun, who were the epitome of perfect, loving high school sweethearts.

Jisung's heart was shattering into thousands of minuscule pieces.

- 🐥 & 🐬 -

Lele 💖🐬 • 4:04 pm
i'm getting ready now
thanks for your help again

You • 4:18 pm
you would be so lost without me

Lele 💖🐬• 4:19 pm
yeah
i know

- 🐥 & 🐬 -

𝐻𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑦!
𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑜𝑟 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡.
𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔.
𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑤 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒-𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑜 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑢𝑝𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦.