All I Want For Christmas... (A Gladion x Hau story)

Chapter Four: Guilt And More Guilt

Days until Christmas Day: 21

20:21

Gladion's Flat

Gladion was sitting on his couch, watching some drama on TV. He hasn't been sleeping too well. His head was a mess. He decided to stay at home today. The weather wasn't too good so, it gave him a good excuse. He still hasn't answered Hau after he texted. Part of him felt guilty for ghosting him but he... Just didn't want to face him. He didn't trust himself. He was going to screw up somehow by accidentally saying something nasty, or... Kissing him and freaking him out. It was a lose-lose situation.

He picked up his phone and looked at the last message Hau sent. He was asking if Gladion wanted to hang out last night. He was feeling really rubbish for not answering him. Although, part of him was kind of surprised that Hau didn't send another message. It... Annoyed him?

He was actually annoyed that Hau wasn't annoying him. Now that's just weird. Like... Seriously weird. He was crying his eyes out because he thinks he's in love with Hau and the fact that he didn't want it to happen and now he's annoyed that the boy he's ghosted, who incidentally is the same boy he thinks he's in love with hasn't kept texting and annoying him? Oh dear...

He looked at the TV, which still had that drama playing. It was a scene where the man was telling the woman that he loved her and didn't want her to leave. She cried and said she loved him too and that he was the love of her life...

"Awk! Gads!" Gladion exclaimed quickly changing the channel. There was now some programme about people selling things at auction. He still had the remote in his hand pointing at the TV. He... wanted to watch the couple so, he changed the channel back. The couple had embraced and then kissed passionately before the credits started to roll. It was already over.

Gladion's eyes softened. Part of him was a little jealous (Yes! Jealous of characters on a TV programme). He never really experienced love. Sure, he was only 17, he was still young but... it would still be nice to love someone and to be loved.
But, is that person Hau? Is he sure that it was definitely love he felt for Hau or was he just making excuses? Either way, would Hau feel the same. Regardless if Gladion comes to a firm conclusion, it means nothing if Hau doesn't feel that way.

*bzz bzz*

A text message from Hau.

"Speak of the devil"

"Hey Gladion, are you OK? I haven't heard from you. Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries. I'm sorry I keep annoying you. I really dragged you out of your comfort zone and I'm sorry. If... You'd rather stop hanging out with me... I understand."

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU APOLOGISING!?" Gladion screamed smacking his hand against his cheek. He really messed things up. He didn't put a "x" at the end of his text. Why does he ruin everything!?

"Hey Hau, you shouldn't be apologising. It's me that should be apologising. I'm just not use to all this... hanging out stuff. I'm use to my own company, in fact, I kinda prefer it that way. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad but please don't..."

*bzz bzz*

"Least I know you're alive hehe. Well, I should've figured. Lillie did say you were like that. I shouldn't have pushed it. So, I completely understand. Take care"

"NO!" Gladion exclaimed. Now Hau thinks that he doesn't want to hang out anymore. Needs to fix it. Needs to fix it NOW!

"Wanna come over?"

*bzz bzz*

"Really? :)"

"Yeah, come over, we'll hang out"

*bzz bzz*

"I'll be right over x"

"OK. Crisis averted...Shit! He's coming over. Oh shit! I need to tidy this place up. Wait! What if I do something stupid? No, we're just hanging out. That's all. Just two guys, hanging out. Two friends hanging out. Yeah. Yeah. That's all." He kept telling himself.

Sometime later, there is a knock at the door.

Oh crap! He's here! This isn't like before. They'll be alone, in his flat, together.

"Deep breaths Gladion." He told himself walking to the door. He took three deep breaths and opened the door.

"Hey Hau, come in"

"Hey Gladion!" He said with that big beautiful smile. He walked into the flat and looked around. "This flat is nice"

"Ha! If you say so... Please take a seat, make yourself comfortable" Gladion gestured.

Hau plopped himself onto the couch while Gladion brought over some tea and sat next to him.
Gladion felt a little awkward and nervous. What does he say? What does he do? He needs to say something and end the silence.

"S-Shall we watch TV?" Gladion eventually said.

"Yeah, sounds good! "

Gladion picked up the remote and scrolled through the TV guide. All the channels that are available and nothing.

"OH! Stop! That one! 'It's a Wonderful Life'. I love that film" Hau exclaimed.

"I've never seen it"

"Well, that changes tonight" Hau giggled.

Gladion selected the channel and they start watching the film. It's a very old film, of course it's related to Christmas (typical of Hau to pick a Christmas film) but... It's a good film. Although, Gladion was too busy concentrating on how close Hau was. His heart was beating fast again. He would sneak glances at Hau who's eyes were fixed on the film. Gladion wasn't sure how long he could cope with this.

He looked over at Hau again, who then looked back at him with a big smile. He couldn't control himself anymore. He involuntarily leaned over and kissed Hau.

Gladion's eyes were closed. Hau's lips were so soft. More importantly, Hau wasn't pulling away, he was kissing back. Their lips locked, tongues intertwined. Hau was running his hands through Gladion's hair. Gladion wrapped his arms around Hau, pulling him close. Their kiss in a passionate embrace. But... Then Gladion suddenly pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Hau asked.

"I'm sorry. That was way out of line. I shouldn't have done that."

"Did you not like it?"

"No... I mean, yes... I don't know" Gladion admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hau asked concerned. Gladion shook his head.

Hau went to place his hand on Gladion's, "But you might feel better if yo-"

Gladion slapped his hand away.
"NO! I don't want to talk about it!"

"But..."

"Fucking drop it, Hau!" he barked.

"I-I... think it's time for me to go" Hau said, standing up.

"Yeah..." Gladion said bluntly.

Tears were forming in Hau's eyes. He was heartbroken. He quickly left.

Gladion just.... sat there.