I Already Know | Remus Lupin | Marauders Era

38

"Aren't you nervous?"

"No."

"How are you not nervous?"

"Because I studied..."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't be nervous, Remus."

"What does it mean then?"

"That you're a freak."

"Thank you, darling." Remus smiled at his girlfriend as they walked through the halls, their entwined hands swinging between them as Robyn walked Remus to the Great Hall for his N.E.W.T exams, the rest of the marauders dawdling behind them. Peter had a textbook in one hand, a piece of toast in the other and a very stressed look on his face; Lily was testing James and asking him questions whilst he was singing the school song very loudly to drown her voice out; and Eloise was asleep on Sirius' back, her pregnant stomach hidden by her metamorphmagus abilities. Sirius, as Robyn knew he would be, was over the moon at the prospect of being a father and had been helping Eloise in any way he possibly could which, at that moment, meant carrying her into her exams. The group of friends reached the imposing doors of the Great Hall and Robyn pulled Remus to a stop.

"Good luck, everyone." she smiled and their friends all beamed at her, shouting goodbyes as they entered the hall and left the couple alone. Remus smiled as Sirius gently woke Eloise up and turned around to see his girlfriend crying.

"Ro, what's wrong?" his eyes widened worriedly as he wiped a tear from her cheek as she sniffed,

"You're leaving me in two weeks," she whispered, looking up at Remus with sad eyes, "You're leaving me to join a group of people who are trying to kill the most dangerous wizard int he world, Remus and I'm fucking terrified."

"Oh, lovebird." Remus sighed and pulled Robyn into a hug, letting her cry into his chest as he tenderly stroked her hair, "I'm doing it for you, Ro." he said into her ear, "I'm going to keep you safe and the Order is my means of doing it."

"Mr Lupin." a sharp voice came from behind the couple and they pulled apart. McGonagall gave Remus a stern look but it softened when she saw Robyn wiping her face.

"I'll see you in a few hours." he muttered and she gave him a watery smile, standing on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips,

"Good luck, I love you." she told him and he squeezed her hand,

"I love you too." he said as he turned and walked into the hall. Professor McGonagall walked over to Robyn and placed a hand on her shoulder,

"He doesn't know does he?" she asked and Robyn took a deep breath,

"No," she admitted, "He'll find out when he sees me fighting beside him."

"You're a brave girl, Miss Morrow." the tall woman said, "Not many students would be willing to join up to something like the Order of the Phoenix."

"Not many students have people they'd die to protect." she said quietly,

"Then those people are very lucky." McGonagall told her, offering her a small smile before walking into the Great Hall and waving her wand so the doors slammed shut. Robyn sighed softly to herself and began to walk away, not allowing herself to think about the day in two weeks time when Remus would graduate and she would have to go for a year without knowing he was only a small walk through the castle away.

------

The atmosphere was very odd as Robyn walked into the Hufflepuff Common Room. Rory and Ara were sat on their usual sofa in complete silence, both of them staring at a piece of parchment that Rory was holding in his hands. Robyn frowned as she approached them and they both looked up at her, Rory clearing his throat as Ara ran a hand through her hair,

"Ro," she started and shared a look with her boyfriend,

"Yes?" she replied unsurely, sitting down on the sofa, her eyes drifting to the paper that Rory was holding. It was an envelope and, written in handwriting that Robyn didn't recognise, was her name and home address.

"It's not addressed to Hogwarts, how is it here?" she asked and Rory turned it over in his hand so she could see the back. There was a note scrawled on it from her dad:

'Red,

I've sent this to your school from home but it arrived here last night.

It's from your mother. I can tell by the handwriting. Now, don't put it down and refuse to read it, no matter how much I know you want to. I'm sure there's a lot you two have to catch up on from over the past 16 years.

I love you,

Dad - (the parent who stayed...sorry I had to)'

Robyn swallowed and reached out a shaky hand to take the letter from Rory's grip. "I'm...I'm gonna-"

"Go to the dorm, Ro, it's okay." Ara told her soothingly and she nodded, standing up and making her way to the girls dormitories. Her gaze was locked on the envelope in her hands and she felt her heart jump and leap around in her chest. She had never had any contact with her mum. Not a single word had been exchanged between them since she was two years old and now she wanted to send her a letter? Robyn tried not to get angry. She tried not to resent her mother for leaving. She didn't care about herself. She didn't need a mum, she had her father and her aunt Lucy and there was nothing more she could have hoped for in a family. No, Robyn cared about her dad. His true love had left him and, in spite of her, he had raised their daughter in a home full of love, care, affection and total acceptance. Robyn managed to arrive at her dorm and sat down on her bed, the paper quivering in her hands and filling the silent room with a soft rustling sound. She took a deep breath to steady herself and carefully began to rip open the envelope, preparing herself internally. All her life Robyn had grown up knowing what everyone was thinking at all times, everyone apart from her mother.

Robyn,

I wasn't sure how to start this letter but I figure I might as well just go for it. Let me introduce myself: my name is Martha Lipton, previously Morrow, and I am your mother. I gather you're probably feeling a multitude of things right now and you have many questions running through your mind. I wish I could answer them for you, dear I really do, especially the main one, but I can't. I can't tell you why I left, Robyn. I can't tell you what possessed me to leave my beautiful little girl because I just don't know. It's taken me sixteen years of guilt and regret to muster up the courage to reach out to you but, in all honesty, I don't expect a response. What I did was unforgivable. You're my only daughter and I know nothing about you apart from your name and how old you are. I've tried to imagine what you're like, how you act and how you look, but I don't think anything my mind comes up with will do you justice, especially if you were raised by Tim.

I don't think I could ever apologise enough but I will spend my remaining years attempting to.

I hope you can find it in yourself to meet me, just once, just so I can rest easy knowing that I don't have to imagine your face in my head anymore.

Sending wishes of good health to your father and Aunt Lucy.

With love,

Your mother.

ooOooOooh

how unexpected of me :o

ok also not to be annoying but lol ive made an insta

everyone is going: 'YOU'VE TOLD US SO MANY TIMES' rn but idk i feel like this is a good way of keeping you guys in the loop and shit so i think you should follow me on instagram at @bananaramaracist 

jus sayin