make me

41-clarity

I took her in my arms and sat her in front of me so she was leaning back on me. I snuggled up my face in the crook of her neck and sighed. I had missed this so much...

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Bee's POV
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I felt empty and tired. I could feel my whole body going limp in Raven's arms, but being held by her gave me a little bit of strength. I had waited so long for this, but never would I have thought I would be reunited with her this way. Even thought it was awful and I just wanted to die the moment he pulled down his pants, that situation proved to me that Raven had changed for the better. When I saw her pull on those chains and the light going through her veins, I knew she was suffering and it was all for me. I just hoped she wouldn't go back to her old habits.

"Hey... are you okay?" Raven asked me.

I let my head fall back down on her shoulder and took a deep breath in.

"Yeah, it's fine... let's not talk about it right now, okay?" I said to her, closing my eyes.

"Yeah, sure... anything you want." She put her arms around my waist and held me a bit tighter.

I had forgotten about it, but a sharp pain on the side of my skull reminded me I was now a vampire, well I was becoming one. Just thinking of it made me shiver, I didn't want to become like this... so I decided to ask Raven what it would be like to have a bit more of clarity.

"What will happen to me?" I asked her quietly.

"I was wondering when you would ask..." she took one of her arm out of the water to stroke my hair out of my face and I could hear the water dripping so well. It almost sounded sharp.

"You already know that your head hurts when you're turning, then you get excruciatingly cold... then the fangs start to form inside of your gums including the venom to turn someone. After approximately 2 weeks, you get thirsty... I guess that's what you really wanted to know." She kept her tone really calm and she talked slow, making sure I would understand every word she said.

"Why did you do it, Raven?" I regretted saying her name, but I knew she wouldn't do anything to me, not now at least.

"I didn't want you to die... I wouldn't be able to live without you, you know that." She said sternly but softly at the same time. I could feel that she was being extremely patient with me.

"Do I? Maybe you changed now, but you weren't like this before and you never showed that you actually loved me. You just wanted to hurt and use me..." I tried explaining my point so she would understand better.

She didn't answer. Her head fell down on my shoulder as her arms tighten around me again. Then she whimpered...

She was crying.

I realized how broken they made her and deep down, I was glad. She knew how I felt now.

"I'm so sorry, Bee... I don't know what had gotten into me, you have no idea how I regret everything. Everything I did to you was always replaying in the back of my mind there. I wanted to run to you and apologize a thousand times... but even that wouldn't be enough. I needed you alive to prove that I can love you forever, and not abuse you like I did. But I understand if you don't want to give me another chance... what I did was horrible." she stopped talking, not making a noise, but I knew she was thinking of something.

"Look, you're going to stay with me until you finish turning. During that time, I'll prove how good we can be together. If after one month you still hate me, you can go... I won't stop you." She talked quickly, like if she wanted to finish her sentences before she changed her mind, but she already told me now and there was no going back from it.

"And where would I go?" Concentrating on all the talking was awful at that moment, so my answers were short.

"I could buy you a house or you could go with Anastasia if you want... I'm sure she would love you right." That showed me how deteriorated she was. The great Raven had low self esteem now. Something I had never even thought of seeing with my own eyes.

I thought about it. She was offering me freedom, but I had nothing. No one to go to, no place to feel secure in, nothing. I had dreamt of being free from her grip since the moment I was bought, and now I was refusing it... I wouldn't tell her that thought, I wanted to see her try and change my mind before I actually made a decision.

"So you would really let me go?" I asked her.

"Yeah... if that's what you want." She was terribly sad and I could hear it in her voice. My heart clenched at the sound of it, but I pushed my feelings down to appear more sure of myself.

I turned around and looked at her. She had tears starting to dry on the sides of her face. She looked back at me, slightly frowning. I got closer to her and kissed her.

Our lips inter crossed as I could taste the salty ness on her. She took my face in her hand, stroking my cheek gently with her thumb. Her tongue asked for entrance and I didn't resist. It slipped into my mouth and I could only think of how I had missed being intimate like this with someone.

We separated ourselves and looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Bee.. I should've said it sooner." I was shocked from hearing it. She had told me before, but this time it actually felt genuine. I couldn't lie, I liked it.

"You really do?" I asked her. I wasn't ready to say it back yet.

"Yes, and I promise that I will protect you for my whole life." She pulled me gently to her, and kissed me again.

When we stopped, I got in her lap again and snuggled closer to her. It felt so wrong, but so good at the same time and I couldn't hide the fact that I needed her.