Chapter 11 - Nothing or Everything

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When Judah and Milo got home, Judah took Mercer outside to talk. Milo sat on the couch, waiting with bated breath. He worried that Mercer might talk Judah out of hanging out with him. Maybe he would convince Judah that Milo wasn't over Hunter—especially after that conversation Milo and Mercer had the day before about how it felt to see Hunter again.

Maggie plopped down beside Milo and tossed her legs over his. Her hair was braided into pigtails, her face clean of any makeup. She looked the way she had before he left for college. It made his heart ache for those days a bit.

"Are you okay?" Maggie asked. "You look like you're about to puke."

"I've had a complicated day." Milo muttered.

Maggie's eyes lit up, doubling in size. "Tell me!"

"I have a huge crush on Judah."

"Duh! I think we all knew that."

Annoyed by that, Milo blurted, "Well, did you know the feeling is mutual?"

Maggie gasped and sat forward. She pulled her legs in to sit cross-legged. "Seriously?"

Milo nodded.

Maggie's eyes darted around as she thought. "So were you guys on date? Is that why you didn't take Mercer?" She clapped her hands. "That's why he was sulking around all night being bitchy."

"It was kind of a date. Although it didn't really start out as one. I don't think." Milo quickly explained the situation that led to attending Hunter's party.

"I bet Hunter freaked out."

"He tried to hide it, but yeah." Milo nodded. "Especially when he walked in on me and Judah kissing in his kitchen."

Maggie let out an ear-splitting squeal. She gripped Milo's arm too tightly.

"Chill with the death grip, Mags."

Maggie released Milo, leaving behind a pale imprint of her hand. She grabbed a throw pillow to strangle instead. "Is he a good kisser? He looks like he'd be a good kisser."

"He is."

"Aw!" Maggie poked his cheek. "You're blushing."

The sound of the front door closing startled Milo. He whirled around to face the hall. Mercer entered alone. Milo watched for Judah while Mercer came into the living room.

Mercer tapped Maggie's shoulder. "Give us a minute, Mags."

"Why?" Maggie asked.

"Just go!"

"Whatever." She got up and stomped to the kitchen in a huff.

Mercer sat beside Milo. He bent forward, clasping his hands together over his knees. "So, you and Judah, huh?"

"Yep."

"I don't get what he sees in you, personally, but, hell, I'm not the one that's gotta kiss you."

"Are you okay with this?"

Mercer straightened his posture and twisted to face Milo. "As long as you understand that whatever you guys are doing probably won't last."

"What do you mean?"

"Mi, we're going back to Illinois in eleven days." Mercer tapped the back of his hand against Milo's chest. "You're going back to San Francisco, too, man. Did you really think you guys would keep this up two thousand miles apart?"

Milo hadn't actually considered that. It was a fair point.

"Look," Mercer said. "This isn't me being a dick or trying to talk you out of this. I love you, and I want you to be happy, no matter who it's with, but I want you to be prepared. You were so convinced you and Hunter would do long distance. And then he broke up with you. I don't want you to get hurt like that again. Just think rationally about this."

Milo took a few moments to breathe. He felt like he was about to start quivering. Clutching his hands together, he said, "I will."

Mercer patted Milo's knee. He motioned toward the front hall. "He's waiting outside. I guess he wants to go for a walk or some romantic shit like that."

Milo slowly walked toward the door. His footsteps felt heavy, as if weighed down by Mercer's warning. He paused halfway to the door and turned back. As harsh as the message may have been, Milo believed it came from a place of love, so he couldn't be angry at his brother. "I love you, too, by the way."

"Yeah, yeah." Mercer waved a hand over his head without looking back.

Milo found Judah sitting on the front stoop, scanning through his phone. Milo knelt down behind him and wrapped his arms around Judah's neck. "How are you? Now that everything is out in the open."

Judah twisted his neck and kissed Milo's cheek. "You were right. He was really cool about it. And he understood why I kept it a secret."

"I'm glad." Milo hugged Judah tighter. "According to my brother, you want us to do some romantic shit—his words."

Judah laughed. "I just thought we could walk and maybe talk about some stuff that's not so serious."

"Like, what's your favorite color?" Milo moved to sit beside Judah.

"Sorta. Maybe a bit more substantial. And blue."

"Blue?"

"My favorite color. But like that rich, deep shade of blue. I can never remember what's it's called."

"Is that why you put me in this?" Milo pulled on the collar of his shirt.

"That's not the right shade. And I picked that because you look sexy in blue."

Milo chortled, trying to play off his embarrassment. That was the first time anyone had used sexy to describe him. He decided to deflect the attention. "Yeah, well, you'd look sexy in nothing."

"What!" Judah grinned wide.

"Everything!" Milo blurted, immediately. "I meant everything. You'd look sexy in everything."

"That's not what you said." Judah leaned into him. He stretched his neck out, clearly wanting Milo to kiss him. He raised his eyebrows. "Are you just gonna let me hang here, all lonely and sad?"

Milo sighed and closed the gap to kiss Judah.

Judah clutched Milo's arm, smiling again as he pulled back. "It's going to take a couple more dates for you to find out which is better."

"Huh?"

"Me in everything, or me in nothing." He gave Milo a quick peck on the lips.

Milo chewed on his bottom lip. His face burned so hot he thought he might start sweating.

Judah leapt up easily and offered his hands to help Milo. Milo gratefully took the assistance.

Once Milo was on his feet, Judah hung his arm around Milo's neck. Milo took the opportunity to slip his arm around Judah's waist as they strolled up the sidewalk and into the night, discussing favorite memories, former crushes, and even the best pizza toppings. While Milo totally understood Judah discovering his sexuality by watching Chris Hemsworth prance around shirtless in Thor, he could not abide Judah's assertion that pineapple was an expectable pizza topping.

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