X suicidal reader (One shots) (Requests Closed) (On Hold)

Saiki Kusuo X Suicidal! Reader

"Yum yum" - Normal text means you are talking out loud.

"Yummy in my tummy" - Italics mean your thoughts.

"Coffee Jelly" - Bold is when Saiki talks with his mouth

"Yare Yare" - Bold and Italics are him speaking telepathically.

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Requested by: baka_idixt

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"He doesn't care." You told yourself as he stared at you.

"He wants you dead as well." You thought every time he tried to approach you.

Saiki wasn't your friend. He had avoided you for a few years and since then he changed.

"(Y/N)." He would call to you, but it would send shivers up your spine. It was as if he wanted to kill you for annoying him.

Oddly enough, when he yelled your name, it was as if you heard him say it a thousand times before. The anguish and sadness, even frustration of how he said your name rang a bell.

After school, you looked around to make sure no one would follow you. You failed to notice Saiki staring at you.

You ran to the rooftop, your body trembled as if you had done so a thousand times before. You stood by the fence, wanting to jump off.

The fence was too high if you tried to climb over it. Someone would find it before you died. You sank to the floor, tears rolling down your cheeks.

You grabbed your blade from your skirt pocket and shoved the blade into your wrist. You dug for your vein and cut it.

Exhaustion washed over you. The roof door slammed open and Saiki stared at you with eyes of horror.

"(Y/N)!" He yelled at you. It was deja vu.

He ran to you, but you collapsed to the floor. Tears threatened to spill, but he grasped you tightly.

"Not again." He mumbled. He hugged you tightly. His warm body was a familiar feeling to your skin.

"I'm sorry Saiki." You said and forced a smile with the last of your energy.

Your world darkened before you opened your eyes and you were in your bed.

You stared at the ceiling, not in confusion, but wondering if you had enough energy for the day.

You let out a sigh and stood up. You got ready for a day at PK Academy.

It was an average day, no one paid attention to you and you didn't pay any attention to them or that's what you thought.

Saiki approached you. "Hey." He greeted.  took a step away from him. You've seen him around school constantly, but this was the first time he approached you since forever.

"Hi." I greeted.

"Why is he talking to me? I'm a nobody."

"I'm not good looking. I'm not worth his time."

Saiki frowned at your thoughts.

"Do you want to get Coffee Jelly with me?" He asked.

"Why does he care? We hardly know each other."

"I want to catch up with you. We haven't spoken for a few years."

You nodded and smiled. "That sounds nice." You said.

After school, you and Saiki walked to get Coffee Jelly which you knew was his favorite sweet. Saiki was quiet as usual, but he at least tried to hold a conversation. You noticed how he tried to talk more to you.

"He's trying so hard. I'm not worth his time. I should just kill myself."

Saiki's eyes widened. "Are you trying to kill yourself? ." He asked.

You stared at him and the first word to escape your lips was: "Why?" You stood up and glared into his eyes, covered by his green glasses. "Why do you care?"

"Why would I not care? You're my friend. I don't want to lose you."

"You're just saying that." You said and walked towards the door. A hand wrapped around your wrist and you were pulled back.

"I'm serious, (Y/N)" Saiki said. You winced. He immediately noticed.

"Saiki, let go." You begged, your voice soft.

He dragged you out of the restaurant and to his house. You didn't bother fighting at this point, but he knew at this point. He didn't want to embarrass you in public.

You found yourself in his room. You swore all you did was blink and you were in his room.

He lifted your sleeve. He frowned at the cuts etched into your skin. Saiki held your hand as he leaned down.

"You were hurting all this time." He mumbled.

"Saiki." You opened your mouth to protest to ask why he cared, but you couldn't bring yourself to argue with him.

"I never thought that I would fall in love, but I'm in love with you. I didn't mean to avoid you. I was afraid -" He paused, wondering if he should tell you.

He looked into your eyes.

"He's lying to me. He deserves someone better. I'm not special."

"I love you too, Saiki."

Saiki forced himself to not smile at your last thought. "I'm a psychic, (Y/N). That means I can do many things." He said.

You nodded, almost intimidated by the fact he could destroy you quickly if he wanted to, but would death not be what you wanted?

"I've gone back in time over and over to save you. You kill yourself and I've been trying to save you, but I always fail."

Saiki watched as you ran to the rooftop, he looked around him, wanting to teleport, but they would see him. He tried running to the rooftop, but people blocked him. He was frustrated and watched you die over and over again.

"I thought I could live without you, but I couldn't. I can't. You mean so much to me and I never realized that until you were gone. Please, I don't want to lose you." Saiki tried to convince you.

"Saiki, you don't understand. There's no point in me living. All I do is fuck up. People hate me." You said honestly, tears ran down your cheeks. "I'm not meant to be alive."

"No, you're meant to live. You become a great person. When you're older, you're so happy. You inspire everyone around you and people love you more than they already do. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met." He said and pulled down your sleeve.

"Saiki." You stutter, crying more. You hug him. It made him uncomfortable, never having received affection. He hugged you back.

"Please, don't kill yourself (Y/N)." He begged.

"I won't. I promise you." You said and smiled.  A genuine smile.

"I'm happy I met you, Saiki."

Sure enough you become more amazing than you already were.