His Gray Half

1. I See You When You Don't

Wanna try this. If this is your first time on this story, do you mind stating here the time and date you just started...Thank you.

CHAPTER ONE:
|I See You When You Don't|
• • •

AARON BROWN.

"If this is love, then I'll gladly dive in a billion times and over."
I readjusted into my seat. My back had began to ache from leaning forward for quite a long time, and besides, the point I had earlier set on stage was keenly aborted, and thus, the lack of need to throw my face into the stern one who found pleasure at leaving my drama unattended.

While solemnly sulking over my miss-met view, I  stared back at the glasses glaring at me just a few inches away.
"Or maybe it isn't." I pressed on. "Maybe it's something else, a bond of fate... But I can't help but be drawn to him."

Mr Hamilton simply sighed, and slumped into his seat, as exasperation riddled on his face, even though he tried veiling it. My session with him wasn't the reason he felt drained, the ones before were. In fact, he enjoyed listening to my emo-mental rants than any other, and needless to say, I was paying a good couple o' bucks per hour, so he had to look his best, even though it meant him fighting his mental exhaustion.

"Let me say this Aaron," At this point, he lacked the strength to get a smile halfway through, bothering at it would clearly be a waste of time, but he struggled to lay one on me.
"love and obsession are two different things. They seem alike, but are very much apart —"

"Are you saying I'm obsessed with the guy?"

Gotta admit, I did love how sincere, and non-sugarcoated his words relentlessly were, as much as I like that I didn't take them personal. Hit the nail on the head. I'm that head meant to silently sit and receive a hammered nail boring through my scalp.

"Don't get me wrong Aaron. First, you need to ask yourself, which is it. I'm I in love with this boy, or is he the ideal character I'd love to be?"

For a divorced middle aged man, with two kids, Hamilton and I had an understanding that extended beyond a doctor-patient relationship, which I had always tried to maintain; keeping it at a lukewarm state. Still, at the time, thoughts of any suitable reply was gone, so I did what I would normally do, I went into a mode of awkward silence, with predetermined exposure of the session's closure.

"I was never obsessed with him" And like I said, I felt drawn to him.

It was like we were the same being existing in parallel universes, but still within the same galaxy –I doubt if that even makes any sense? And in this separate world of ours, I was the only one with the ability of cognitive awareness of our existence, while he was devoid of it.

And I saw Adrian, clear as crystal.

Even if he didn't, I still could see him: his screaming ego, the loudness that graces his sad kingly steps, those piercing gray eyes that are confident and calm as the air that rolled by the second he moved his head, even the gentle manner in his one worded reply, and the soft melting smile he forces on. What I saw more, with prestigious eloquence, was his groaning loneliness.

I wonder if I'll ever be more than a smeared paint to him, the kind that looks like a brown patch of dirt splattered against a brick wall –not so attracting, and definitely not worth a second look. Him not noticing is something I can say was not intentional, but a burden that has been braided into the who he was; a struggle he's been made to bear for a very long time. That alone made being a fit in his wrecked galaxy, even more impossible for someone of my. . .perspective. And shutting everyone out, was his own way of protecting innocent freaks like me from getting into his messed up world and ghastly-dark universe.