Who We Once Were - A Jolivia Story

Chapter 5

As weird as it may sound to any normal person, the smell of hairspray had actually become a quite comforting scent for Olivia over the years. She'd been acting professionally for many years and had been doing theatre for long before then. That scent was just something that had become familiar over the years through the many dressing rooms and it reminded her of how lucky she was to be doing what she loved. So now as that scent engulfed her, she let herself find a small sense of comfort in it, forget about everything with Josh for a little while. She was starring on a major Disney show where she got to sing and act with some of her now closest friends, it was literally a dream come true for her younger self.

So why couldn't she just be happy? Why was she letting this whole thing with Josh bother her so much? It's not like she ever had any real claim over him or anything, she liked him, he was her best friend, he didn't care about her quite as much as she thought he did. It was simple and yet she still just couldn't let it go. 

"Excited to be back hun?" Her make up artist, Allan, asked pulling her out of her thoughts. 

"Sooo excited Al, I've missed being here like crazy. And I missed seeing everyone, it's been way too long." She said trying not to smile too much while she spoke so as not to mess up her makeup. 

"I heard that sweetheart and pray tell, how is your lovely Joshy doing?" He asked lifting his eyebrows suggestively. He was poking fun at her and the nickname she used to have for Josh but the mention of that name only served to bring back some painful feelings for her.

- 

Five Months Ago 

Olivia sat on the edge of her bed twiddling her thumbs anxiously while the ringing echoed throughout her room. She was trying to FaceTime Josh for the third time this week and seemingly once again to no avail. He rarely answered her calls these days and she missed him way more than she cared to admit. Josh was one her best friends and she needed to talk to her best friend. Her mom and her had gotten into a pretty bad argument earlier that day. Madison was studying for exams so she didn't want to bother her and as much as she loved her dad, this was something she needed to talk to a friend about. She needed Josh. She was about to give up hope and just hide under her covers blasting Taylor Swift when he picked up on the last ring.

"Hey Liv what's up?" He asked causally and through the camera she could see him lying down on his living room couch, a place she'd spent so much of her time before quarantine hit.

"Hey Joshy," she said with an affectionate smile that she couldn't hold back whenever she was around him. "My mom and I just got into it and I really needed a friend to talk to, I was just-" She could hear muffled giggling on the other side of the line. It wasn't just him, he was there with someone else. She heard his whispers and could tell he was distracted, not really listening. "Joshy?" She asked a little nervous but trying to not let that come through with her tone.

"Stop - Shh" She heard a girl's voice whisper over the line and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. 

"Hey 'Livia can I call you back later, sorry I'm just kinda busy right now." Said Josh still with that light and giggly tone. That flutter in her heart turned into it practically dropping out her chest with an unimaginable heaviness. 

"Oh ya, ya of course I just-" she started.

"Great, catch you later!" He yelled over the line before the call abruptly ended. She called Josh to try escape that feeling of wanting to break down alone but now it had only been worsened. She pulled her duvet over her head, put in her earbuds and let the silent tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn't get the girl from the other side of the call off her mind.

One week later Josh released "Anyone Else" and Olivia couldn't stop herself from focusing on the girl in the video, she was so familiar.

Two weeks after that, Josh and Sabrina were spotted out to lunch together and that voice from the other side of the phone and the girl in his video clicked into place.

She pulled out her piano that night and started pouring out her waves of emotions into a song.

Got my driver's license last week
A thing we always talked about
Cause you were so excited for me
To finally drive up to your house
But today I drove through the suburbs
Crying cause u weren't around

And your probably with that brunette girl
The one I always thought about
She's so much older than me
She's everything I'm insecure about
Yea today I drove through the suburbs
Cause I couldn't find love in no one else

I know we weren't perfect but I'd never felt this way for no one
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone
And I don't believe you when you say I did nothing wrong
Oh today I drove through the suburbs
Cause I couldn't find love in no one else

She posted the song on her instagram later that night and her fans seemed to adore it. It was one of the more personal things she'd written and posted. She changed blonde to brunette in hopes that it would stop people from figuring out who it was but in a way, she kind of wanted Josh to know. She wanted him to know how he'd been hurting her and she wanted him to fix it. It was unrealistic, but that didn't stop her from dreaming.

-

"Olivia?" Allan's voice broke her from her day dreaming. "You okay sweetie?" He asked pausing for a second to look her in the eyes through the mirror. She let out a forced laugh and smile.

"Ya - yes, I'm fine, just got distracted sorry. What did you ask?" She said, trying get back on track.  

"Just asked how you and lover boy were doing?" He repeated himself and Olivia tried to not let it get to her. 

"Al I've told you before there's nothing between me and Joshua." She said rolling her eyes with mock indignation. 

"Sure hun, and I'll believe that when pigs fly." He spoke jokingly and shook his head at her. She shot him a strained smile and kept quiet the rest of the time while Allan finished up her makeup. 

A/N - Chapter 5 guys :) Hope you liked the flashback! Please vote and comment what you think!!! Also I love Olivia's song "Driver's License" and none of you can convince me it's not about Josh. Periodt. Go listen to it on youtube if you haven't heard it for more context on this chapter