Burning Bridges

Chapter Twelve - Taking Responsibility

(A/N: *chanting* Fluff and angst! Fluff and angst! Fluff and angst!)

(Ford's PoV)

I can't stop pacing. Just before I went down to isolate myself in the basement, I told Jupiter I wanted to speak with her once she was ready. I'm both anxious to get it over with and anxious to never have to deal with it.

I check the time. It's so late that it's early. She's still got a long way to go before the alignment is over. There's a possibility that she could have to endure many more challenges. Maybe I should sleep and wait until after the alignment to talk to her.

I start slightly as the elevator door opens, spinning towards the sound. Jupiter shuffles out, wrapped in a thick blanket. Only her face is visible.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" I ask.

"I am," she replies. "Talking doesn't take up energy."

She sits down on the floor, pulling her blanket more securely around her. Hesitating for a moment, I carefully set myself down across from her. She looks at me apprehensively, which doesn't make me feel any better about the situation.

"So..." I begin.

"I saw Arlyn."

I blink rapidly in shock. I wasn't expecting that. But maybe that has something to do with why she's so nervous.

"Was she upset?"

Jupiter lets her gaze drop to the floor. "You could say that."

"Of course she was," I sigh. "I should've known she'd be disappointed in me from beyond the grave! Even after I promised her again and again that I would protect you, I still nearly lost you. I was completely useless, just standing on the ice with Dipper, stopping him from diving in after you. Why am I even still trying, still hoping?"

Jupiter looks confused. "Ford... she wasn't upset with you. She was upset with me. I'm the one who let her down, not you."

"What are you talking about?"

She gives me a sad smile. "I thought I was protecting my family, but I was just running away from my responsibilities. Jill couldn't force me to do anything, she just lied to me until I forced myself to do what she wanted. I should've realized from the beginning that I couldn't trust her, that it was just more lies, but I was stupid enough to believe her. I was stupid enough to think I didn't have a choice. I was stupid, and I hurt my family. I'm so sorry, Ford. I don't know how I'm supposed to make it right, but I will do whatever it takes to repair the damage I have done to your trust."

I embrace her without thinking, unsure of what on earth I'm even doing. All I know right now is that I need her to understand that I'm not angry with her.

"Jupiter, no, you don't need to be sorry," I hush her as she starts crying. "You were doing what you thought was the only way. It's not your fault that you didn't have all the answers. You didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Neither does a drunk driver, but that doesn't mean we don't hold them accountable for the damage they cause."

"Your intent was to protect people, to save us."

"I'm sure religious zealots could plead the same case when they take the promotion of their faith to the extreme. Pure intent does not justify hurtful actions."

"Jupiter, look at me; this is not the same thing. Yes, you made a mistake. Yes, you shouldn't have done that. Yes, I was terrified and heartbroken beyond belief as a result. But the most important thing right now is this; you are alive. How can I be angry with you when everything was made right by your survival? You didn't die, so I have no reason to be terrified and heartbroken. Life is too short to wish things were different."