Their Moon

Chapter 9 - Panic Attack

MOON'S POV

It was fun spending time with my 'brothers'. Maybe they are not so bad.

At the moment we all were in the car I am sitting next to Enzo leaning my head against the car window. I have really bad motion sickness and I prefer not to talk during car rides.

Yeah yeah getting attached now, are we? Remember all the times you got attached to someone You ended up being a burden. Ugh, you should kill yourself. No really

Can you shut the fuck up? I get it I have made a shit load of the mistake but can I just for once not have to hear from you?

You are pathetic I swear. I mean you are doing all this for attention aren't you?

I haven't even done anything

My thoughts were interrupted when the car came to halt and Enzo called out my name

I hopped out of the car, thanked my brothers and headed to my room. 

Go cut yourself, pathetic attention-seeking bitch. Let's go and see some blood. 

Please just shut up 

Don't you want to look at some blood? 

No

Yes, you do. Tell me you do want to look at some blood 

I don't have any blades or anything. what am I supposed to do?! Why are you even here? Nothing happened today! Everything was fine why am I feeling this way?! Nothing happened! There was no trigger this time! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

Let's see it this way. You do not excel in anything, you don't even earn, you are ugly, you are fat, you have no sense of fashion, you fucked up your friend's mental health, your girlfriend broke up with you because you were too much to deal with, you are just straight ass useless piece of shit and you do not mean anything to anyone to anyone. Your brothers are just pretending to like to because they have to deal with your sorry ass. Don't you think you deserve punishment for all this? 

I just don't know what to feel anymore. What is happening to me? All these thoughts are too much these days. It was just yesterday I had a breakdown in front of Xavier and now this. I have no reason to feel this way. I made a note to get myself some blades tomorrow. 

I picked on my scabs for a while to get rid of all the numbness, to feel something. A small amount of blood oozes out of my open cuts but want to see more. you see there is a thing about blood the second you see some of it you want to see more and more of it. So, I increased my pace and start scratching violently.

I want to stop 

No, you don't 

ENZO'S POV 

Moon is a lot of fun once she lets her guard down. I was headed towards my room when I heard some sniffs. Moon's crying? Without thinking a lot I entered her room. what I saw next broke my heart. she was sitting on my floor her back against the bed and she was scratching her hands and blood was oozing out of her cuts. I called her twice hoping she would feel my presence but she didn't so I hurriedly went towards her and hold her hands in mine careful enough not to hurt her. 

"NO!" she screamed trying her best to free her hands. 

"Moon, calm down," I said softly but it was like she was deaf to my words 

"MOON, CALM THE FUCK DOWN" I screamed at her and suddenly all her attempts subside

"What happened, love," I asked her not leaving her hands 

She said nothing and just threw herself at me and her sniffs turned to loud sobs and since I was on my knees I feel on my butt. Her hands were still in my grasp and to be honest, I didn't want to let go but I did it anyway and she wrapped her hands around my neck and I am not gonna lie her hold was really strong. 

"Moon, talk to me, love. What's wrong?" and it was like my words broke the dam and she literally screamed with so much pain and agony that I tightened my hold on her I was afraid I am gonna lose her to the pain she is feeling if I loosened my grip. Soon I heard a few footsteps behind me and soon everyone was sitting surrounding us. Nobody said anything. Someone was patting Moon's head. A few tears escaped my own eyes and I felt Salvatore wiping them away. Lorenzo was saying things to calm her down and soon her loud sobs stopped and she quietly sobbed. her whole body started shaking in my grasp. I tightened my hold again but soon I realized she is having a panic attacked and she needs to breath and with her face, in my neck, I thought that would be difficult. So I released her but as soon as I removed my hands from her back her body shook even more violently and her hold tightened even more. I tried to face her but she was not letting me. 

Lorenzo pulled her from her waist and she screamed so loud and I am not sure if anyone of us will ever be able to forget those screams of agony. He held her from behind 

"Hey hey hey, Moon you need to breath. her eyes were tightly shut. Love, look at me" I took her face in my hands and shook her face a little to get her out of whatever trance she was in and soon her eyes opened and she was gasping for oxygen. 

"breath with me" I took her hand and kept it on my heart and my other hands wiped her tears away and removed the hair from her face  

"breath in" 

"breath out"

"I am here for you, no matter what happens. I am here for you. We all are here for you. whatever the voice inside your head is telling you is not the truth. What I am telling you is the truth. you are no burden to anyone, love. We cannot bear the pain of losing you. We love you, love"

And when her breathing came back to normal but her tears did not stop. She again threw herself at me freeing herself from Lorenzo's grasp and he let her. I am not sure if she noticed anyone else's presence in the room. 

"Help me, Enzo. Please. Make it stop. Please"

"I will, love. I will" I tightened my hold around her.

I looked at my brothers and they came close to us and hugged us.

Hi lovelies, thank you for 100 votes and over 3k reads. Thank you for all the lovely comments. 

Peachsk made my day with lovely and funny comments and motivated me to update.

My emotions are all over the place maybe because I am about to get my periods. So, I am all emo these days. *wipes tears*

If you guys have any doubts about the book feel free to reach out. Also feel free to talk to me of you ever feel like you need to have a chat with someone.