Servant of the 4th Wall (FGO SI OC Servant) - Hiatus

Orleans Singularity Deviation (6)

   

     When his memories came back on his death, there was only one thing that was clear to him. In every possible way, he would always remember, and it was clear on his mind– the ways on how he died. He tried to block out them at the corner of his mind as possible. And desensitizing himself from what he used to be from those of another world.

He was currently Hughes Everett. And it should be supposed what was to be.

A new life, a new him. It was always one of the policies that he adopted when he got used on being a world Hopper. Moved on and restart anew. Forget and sever everything from the previous world, but always remember the one who have given him this curse. If he would just recall all of those people and ties that he have back at those previous worlds, he would be the only who would suffer and be hurt in the end.

On those lives, he have came in contact with many people. Befriended and acquainted... He have friends and families. Most of them, he can't really recall what they look like anymore. Remembering on what he used to be on those previous worlds–made him feel guilty that he have forgotten what those once important people to him looks like.

So he decided to adapt that kind of policy to himself. It lessened the hurt and the guilty feeling that brewing on himself. It also made all of the things that he have experienced bearable. Viewing his previous experience as an spectator and never assimilating them to his current self.

That way, he would keep his firm determination while still enjoying his current life.

He tried to not become attach to people on the previous worlds, but his determination and will on that matter is weak. In the end, he would always have friends and people who can he depend upon that life.

It was pathetic of him. But he couldn't just help himself. He get too attach and caring towards those people who was kind to him.

In the eyes of that Bastard, he must being mocked.

At first, he used to be a self centered person who tried hard to become like those people, those protagonist in Reincarnation novels. It was during his first life when he doesn't know that he was cursed to lived and die again from world to world for eternity.

A two faced person who tried to become a hero and tried to dethrone the real protagonist of that world in his position. Ambitious and selfish. Wanting a harem but he would still stay within his morals. A very complicated childish Chuunibyou who wanted to become a protagonist.

Acting kind and smiling at everyone but deep inside he was having a lot of malicious thoughts and cursing that real protagonist.

In the end of that first life, he didn't get his ambitious dream of becoming a harem protagonist. All of those girls who have he managed to get close, they didn't see him as a potential love interest. They were still in love with that real protagonist. It was annoying. What was more annoying was that real protagonist was super dense who's mind was all about helping people and frequently dragging him on his troubles.

In the end, when he was at the end of that first reincarnation life that he can remember, choosing to become a Holy Saint of a fucking God of Light was a wrong choice from the start.

He was that kind of person during that early stages, but when it become 8th, 9th and 10th turn, he can't keep with his self denial and stupidity anymore. He was cursed by that God who was responsible for reincarnating him.

Slowly, selfish dreams and ambitions lose their purpose. It was replace with a serious determination to find a cure for the curse. Put an end on this bullshit. Being in the spotlight, finding a love interest– he would just die and move in the next world anyway, why does it matter anymore?