Devotionals

Words Can Hurt, and That's Ok

Beginning note: I apologize for the off-schedule posting! I'm two weeks late. We ran into some issues with getting this devotional published, but I hope that you all enjoy it and I look forward to getting back on schedule! - NBNiar

-----

In case you can't see the full title, it is "Words Can Hurt, and That's Ok."

We love to tell ourselves that words cannot hurt us and that we're stronger than any words. We love to pretend that we're unphased by hurtful words, and that hate doesn't bother us. If we're honest (and not sociopathic in any way), that's not true!

Words are the type of things that have the power to keep us up at night. They can make us cry as easily as they can make us smile, and words do hold power in our lives! To say that we are unaffected by them is, in some ways, a coping mechanism.

In other words, instead of "words never hurt me," we're basically saying, "I've been hurt so many times by people who say terrible things or were misleading, and I'm trying to cope. I'm trying to avoid being hurt, and if I can trick myself into believing that words can't hurt me, then maybe they won't hurt nearly as bad."

Now, this may not be true for everyone, but I think it's safe to assume that most of us have experienced that situation or that we know someone who has. Let me know in the comments if I'm right!

Throughout the Bible, we encounter stories of many who were beyond hurt. Feeling upset is perfectly okay! It's allowed. We aren't supposed to be perfect all of the time and act unphased by everything. Sadness is a feeling that was constantly expressed in the Bible, and we're told that we'll face adversity just like many Biblical figures did.

Being hurt is to be expected.

Take these examples from the Bible of people who felt and expressed hurt:

David wrote many Psalms about how much heartache he felt because of the different situations that he faced. Whether it was because he hid from men who were actively seeking to kill him or because he simply felt hopeless, David was not afraid to express his heartache!

Jesus prayed, begging God the Father for another way that the world might be saved from sin. In Matthew 26, Jesus tells the disciples "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," (Matt. 26:38 NIV). He goes on to pray, praying "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matt. 26:39 NIV). Jesus was hurt. He had heard all that others were saying as they condemned him, and he knew that his time was coming to be crucified. Yet, he trusted the will of God.

Job had lost everything: his finances, his family, his friends, and later, his health. He was even told by his wife to forsake his integrity and curse God so that he would die sooner (Job 2:9). His friends didn't understand why he kept his faith in God and spoke terribly to him. Yet, he remained hopeful and trusted God with everything in his body, despite declining health.

All of these people- David, Jesus, Job, and others in the Bible- experienced adversity, heartache, and surely sadness. Whether the cause had to do with pending situations in their lives or with the words of others, all of these people experienced hurt. Not only did they experience it, but they also expressed their pain!

It's okay to feel.

It's okay to be hurt and to cry out to God because you don't know what to do next.

It's okay to feel so much joy that you could shout praise from the rooftops of every house across the world.

It's okay to express your emotions instead of suppressing them and trying to find coping mechanisms that will cover up how you feel. Such coping techniques really only lead to intrusive thoughts that are damaging to your mental health, and they can really take a toll on you.

Convincing yourself that you can't feel, or that you shouldn't feel, will leave you feeling empty inside. Emptiness is one of the worst things to experience. It's like feeling numb; as if neither pain nor joy exists. It's feeling a pit in your stomach as you know you should be hurt, and yet you feel nothing.

Take it from someone who has definitely been through that many times before.

Please, find healthy ways to express your emotions! Suppressing your emotions will do you no good, and pretending that things don't hurt you will leave you with feelings of emptiness and despair.

Acknowledge that words, actions, situations- or whatever the case may be- can and often do have some kind of effect on you, and act accordingly! Humans were created to be social beings, and as a result, the words and actions of others do have some sort of effect on us. And that's okay.

Take the examples from earlier and remember that feeling is okay and that you can express those feelings. Keep your hope, trust, and faith in God! He'll get you through in his own timing and through his will.

God bless!

NBNiar