The time of our lives : A Rikara SS

Dreams and Nightmares

'Hum samajh gaye' 

The words echoed in his ears. 

She understood him. His need for art, for releasing his feelings in his paintings, for expressing himself through his creation. 

They were sitting side by side on the floor, peering at his sketchbook, as he showed her his childhood memories. 

'See this bird. Look at it's wings' he said.

'Bahut bade hain' (They are really large.')

'Because I believe that a person's flight should be high' he said. 

But when he looked at her, she was no longer sitting beside him. She wasn't herself anymore. She had transformed into something like that bird etched in his sketchbook.

Her white form was like tiny, foamy, pure white cloud that floated upwards, the chimes of her silver jewelry echoing in the gray mist. 

The mist was growing thicker, trying to form a wall between them.

'I can't see you! I can't see you!' he cried, but he could feel her flying away. 

'I'm here, I'm here, Omkaraji,' but her voice kept getting fainter. Until it faded away completely. 

He could feel her no more, see her no more.

No, no, no, no! he screamed, but there was only silence, as the mist thickened.

No, Gauri! Omkara screamed as he woke up from his vivid dream.

Dream? Or memory? Or a memory transformed into a nightmare. 

The same nightmare he had been seeing every night since Gauri disappeared from their lives, eighteen months ago. 

Omkara wiped his face clear of the sweat, and looked at the window. It was barely dawn. 

Every morning was made harder by this recurring nightmare, every morning he had to start all over again. 

He looked straight at those idols of ShivParvati, still wearing the clothes Gauri had stitched for them two years back. Omkara hadn't bothered to change or remove those. No, he washed and dressed them in the several sets of clothes Gauri had made for them, few remnants of her life with him, an assurance that she had indeed lived with him, for a while, that it was not all a dream. 

The idols seemed to be laughing at him, watching his tormented form. 

He deserved that, he told himself, he deserved this pain, for the pain that he had caused her. 

That's what Dandi had shouted at him, as he remembered very clearly.

His fainting spell had scared Annika bhaabhi, who ran to Shivaay for help. His brothers and family had been so pre-occupied with his health, that none had gone to receive Gauri in Delhi. As it was, there was no one there to receive. Gauri had given them the slip.

When she found out that her mother was in Mumbai, she made her way back into the city on her own, and sought her rakhi brother's help. Dandi called Gauri's mother, and persuaded her cleverly, to visit the nearby Shiv temple. There, mother and daughter reunited. 

When Omkara regained consciousness, it was to get the bad news that Gauri's mother had surreptitiously left the mansion, and moreover Gauri herself, was not in Delhi when Khanna went there to collect her. 

"What happened, Om? Why did you faint like that? Have you been....are you on?" Shivaay left the question unfinished.

Omkara looked at Annika bhaabhi guiltily, and she likewise, looked uncomfortable.