4:20 // 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

018

its currently 2:26am you know what time it is. CHAPTER TIME

This chapters song: Heatwaves

YES I KNOW I'M SORRY. no I have not read it, BUT the song is a banger. And it might actually Be involved in the story
its now 3:55 and I have not started writing. I went down in a ticktock  spiral anyway on with the story
+Key+ anything that is UNDERLINED is lyrics
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As we boarded the ferris wheel cart, Alex and I were laughing at dumb memes that were on his phone. There were some fanart and I was amazed by some of Alex's followers. They all seemed so kind and talented in their own ways.

Road shimmer
Wiggling the vision
Heat heat waves
I'm swimming in a mirror

just as I heard the song start I felt the cart move in an upward motion every couple of minutes the cart stopped so that the cart at the top can take the view in. I didn't mind it since it was all pretty nonetheless.

Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now

I started to tap my foot to the rhythm of the song. Alex the looked over to me and just stared. I looked out the window feeling his stare, but afraid to meet it. I felt his eyes finally come off me. Now it was my turn to look at him swaying to the song.

Usually I put
Something on TV
So we never think
About you and me

I tried to focus on anything but him trying my best not to think about all the feelings just waiting to spill out. I treasured Alex as a friend and I was unsure if he felt the same way. I didn't want to risk the thing I had with him. All I had to do was push my feelings down and ignore them. Kinda like holding a Beach ball under water.

But today I see
Our reflections
Clearly in Hollywood
Laying on the screen

My mind drifted back to that morning where I took Alex to see the Hollywood sign. The entire time we were in the car we were cracking jokes, singing, making each other question our intellect, but it was all fun in games. I liked him

You just need a better life than this
You need something I can never give
Fake water all across the road
It's gone now the night has come but

No, I didn't. I loved him. I really did. He was my everything. One of the only people who could make me feel better after having a shitty day. God whenever I received a text from him my heart fluttered. I had given him his own notification sound and everything. God I was such a clishé.

You can't fight it
You can't breathe
You say something so loving but

Y/n stop it. You know he doesn't Like you like that. God he's a known YouTuber. He has better options. Famous people. he probably already has a girlfriend. 

Now I've got to let you go
You'll be better off with someone new

But what if he doesn't. What if he does like you. Y/n think, open your eyes, don't you think he might have the slightest of feelings for you

I don't wanna be alone
You know it hurts me too

While my head was at war with itself I turned to look at Alex who was now looking out the window of our cart like a little kid who had never been on a ride like this. I smiled at myself and the voices in my head calmed down.

You look so broken when you cry
One more and then I'll say goodbye

I thought about all those discord calls, texts, countless hours on FaceTime, and how much I loved all of it. How much it hurt when he started calling less and less, and the day I realized that I liked him.

Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now

I scoffed at the lyrics. 'Sometimes'? This man lived in my head rent free. Dwelled in my thoughts 24/7, 365. Insane how we had only known each other for half a year and were already this close. I knew I attached to people easly, but Alex was a whole different case.

I just wonder what you're dreaming of

I lost myself if my thoughts, just like how I lost myself in his eyes.

"Hey, y/n, you there?" I quickly snapped back to reality. He chuckled to himself.

"Yeah sorry, kinda got busy thinking" I smiled nervously and looked away.

When you sleep and smile so comfortable

"Of?"

"Something that has been on my mind for awhile. That's all"

I just wish that I could give you that

That look that's perfectly unsad

Alex then grabbed my hand in one of his and with the other turned my chin to face him. We were creeping closer to the top but nothing around me mattered as much as him.

"You know I'm always here for you. No matter what. If I need to buy a last minute ticket to come make you happy, I will." 

Sometimes, all I think about is you

That's when I realized

Late nights in the middle of June

I was worrying about nothing 

Heat waves been faking me out

Alex liked me too

Heat waves been faking me out

As we reached the top, as the cart stopped, I could do nothing but stare into his eyes. Looking for confirmation of something. Anything. That's when it happened. 

Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June

when the beat dropped. 

Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now

I kissed him.

I kissed alex