Friends Forever? GeorgeWeasleyXReader

Chapter 61

  A/N: This chapter will contain talk and acts of self inflicting wounds and depression. This is a heavy chapter. Viewer discretion advised and I hope you join us in the next chapter if you cannot read this one. Also if anyone needs someone to talk to my messages are open. Thank you for all the love on this story. Your likes/votes and comments mean the world to me and have helped me through my own troubles these last few months.

   The piercing screams wake me. It is only when I feel hands shaking my shoulders that I notice they are my own. Sweat soaks my brow and through my shirt.

   "Y/n! Love! It's okay. You are okay." His voice sounds far off as his arms pull around me.

   I can't stop shaking, "He's dead. He died. I saw it all." I'm not even sure the words are coming out or not, but I pull away from the warmth of Georgie's arms. I sprint up and go to the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and expelling bile into the toilet.

    I look down at my Mark, scratches go through it from me clawing at it. Nothing makes it leave. It stares at me as a ghastly reminder at the darkness inside of me. I slink onto the floor and lean my head on the tub. I ignore the knocks and concerned voice from the other side of the door.

   "Y/n! Let me in," George rasps against the door. "Please, my Love. I just want to be here for you."

   I hear him sigh, and can tell he is leaned up against the door, waiting for me to answer. I continue to stare at the ceiling. It's been two weeks since Dumbledore was murdered. I couldn't stand to go to the funeral, knowing that I was with them, and that I had to let it happen. Two weeks of sleepless nights and waking up to screams.

   I get up, leaning onto the sink, staring into the mirror. Under my eyes are a dark blue, and my cheeks have hollowed out. I haven't been able to change my appearance, the stress has been too much. I've missed three meetings so far. Each time my Mark burns I dig into it, wishing to rip it off. I think back to Severus coming two nights ago.

   "Mr. Weasley, she hasn't come to three meetings. The Dark Lord has people looking for her."
   "Snape. She hasn't slept. She barely eats. I can't even get her to shower! She's not going anywhere!" George raises his voice at him.
   I lay curled up in our bed, where I have been since everything happened. I pull the comforter over my head more, trying to block out the conversation.
   I can hear Fred slam a fist on the table, "Severus! How can she go when she can't even change into Amelia?"
   "She must! She will get herself and you two killed if she does not!" Severus' voice hisses.
   "I won't allow my fiancé to go back into the fire like that!"
   "George, you have no choice! He will come and find her, and she will be killed. That Mark is not just connected to Amelia, but Y/n as well. They will still be able to find her, whether she looks like Amelia or not."
   "Leave," George shouts!
  The door slams, which I can only imagine is Severus leaving our home.

   I turn on the water in the tub, still ignoring the protests I hear outside of the door. I make sure the plug is in before I strip down and carefully lower myself into the scalding water. I go under, holding my breath and letting the liquid envelope me. I open my eyes, the water stinging them, but I leave them. I deserve the pain, and I can feel my skin heat up and turn red. I come up gasping for air as I turn off the faucet.

   "Y/n! Let me in now!" His voice is urgent.

   I lean back into the tub, letting my head rest on the edge. "I'm fine," my voice is harsh and low.

  His head bangs against the door, "Fine. I love you."

   "I love you," I mutter, as I'm sure he doesn't hear me.

   I hold up my left arm, tracing the snake that sears into my skin. I will it away, but nothing happens. I scratch at it more, leaving rough, red lines coursing up and down my arm. I don't cry anymore, because I think I have nothing left to cry. I deserve what is happening to me. The pain, the rejection, the isolation. My mind goes to those dark crevasses again.

   My eyes wander over the walls, and land on the razor that is sitting on the edge. My eyes trail back to my Mark, the thoughts over powering my mind. I try to force them away, knowing that I won't be able to take it away. My fingers reach for it still. The handle heavy in my hand. I instinctively pop the guard off and hold it to my Mark.

   What would happen if I just cut it off, or maimed it enough that you can't tell what it is? Would that be worth it? Did I really think that would save myself and the ones I love. I grip the razor tighter. My thoughts wonder to ending it all, but I can't do that to my family. I need to keep going, but....

   The blade connects with the Mark, and I slice down without thinking. I bite down hard on my lip to keep the scream at bay. I dig into my flesh again, trying and failing at cutting the Mark away.

   Something clicks in my mind and I throw the razor away from me. It hits the floor with a resounding ting. I unplug the tub, trying to rinse away the blood that is dripping from my fingers now. I grab the closest hand towel and wrap my arm, wincing at the pain. I don't get anything else, but instead I unlock the door, pushing it open slightly.

   "Georgie?" My voice is barely above a whisper, "I need help."

  George stands up, pushing his way in, looking at my pale face. He goes to grab my hand, but realizes that I have it wrapped up. His voice is laced with concern, "What did you do, Y/n?"

   I hold my arm out, unwrapping it. The blood starts to fall again as he looks at the chunk of the Mark I tore away. I gulp, "I want it gone."

   He pulls out his wand, conjuring medicine and bandages. He hastily and gently puts a salve onto it and wraps it up generously. With that he pulls my chin up to meet his eyes. His eyes are sharp and I can see the tears welling up, "Why would you hurt yourself like this?"

   I place my hand on his face, "I am not strong enough for this job anymore. I don't want to have to do this. I just want us."

   He closes the distance between our lips, kissing me deeply before pulling away. He pulls me close, whispering in my ear, "We will get through this. All of us. Tomorrow we will go and get you help. We will talk to Remus, Mum, and Dad. You aren't in this alone. I will always be here for you."

   I nod into his chest, pulling at his shirt. He leads me back to bed, and places me under the covers. He pulls me into his body, making sure that my arm is out of harms way. Neither of us go back to sleep, but we lay there with each other until the sun breaks through our window.