Halo

Confusion

My Bedroom door shut with a soft thud as Skeppy frantically left... My mind still was in absolute shambles trying to process what happened and with my heart pounding, my checks just as red and hot as before I wasn't in any state for anyone to see me.

Before my mind started to clear again it was overtaken by the thoughts about what just happened...

I was with Skeppy...and we were about to-...Woah... was I really kissing him like that?...We've kissed before but nothing more than a light hearted kiss on the cheek...not like it was now...Both of us completely entranced by each other...

We wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for Father walking in...How could I forget about that..oh no. it's so embarrassing...He saw me and Skeppy...and Skeppy he was...on top of me...there is no way in nine hells...this really can't be...I couldn't have been with Skeppy...but I was.

I began to panic less as the time went on and I sat alone, laying on the bed silently.

What actually happened hit me like a punch to the stomach....I was with skeppy. For real. My only question now is what happens next...

Was it a one time thing? Is there something between us?.... It didn't feel like Skeppy thought about it as just a kiss, just making out... There was passion and lust between the two of us.

Even though it felt real and I knew it was...it still confused me. Neither of us had done anything that meant we had actual feelings for each other. I mean they were real here...And sure we'd had them before...but before we were just...playing around. Right?

It didn't matter... I needed to go talk with Father....Not to mention he might have seen that my hood was off. He always told me never to show anyone... So he might be angry with me. All though there's no way I can go up to him and talk about it.... If he approaches me I'll.... I don't know...I don't know what I would say. It will be fine though I'll think of something

I inhaled, getting the confidence to stand up finally, still feeling slightly dizzy from everything that happened with Skeppy, but I had no choice except to get up and go talk to Father, he'd understand...Maybe.

I walked down the hallway that seemed to echo my footsteps, driving me insane until I got to his study where I softly tapped my knuckles against the door and waited for a response.

Anxiety welled up inside me as I waited for something...Anything.

"Come in Bad. My door is always open." I heard his voice call, making me look up before I opened the door. Of course he knew it was me. If I felt guilty about something I always went to him.

Carefully I opened the door and went inside his office, watching him as he was placing down his bible.

"Hello.. Father" I said with my eyes down at my toes, kind of embarrassed and scared of what he might say or think, despite knowing he was accepting me as I was...He always had. "I promise it wasn't-" I tried to speak, choking over my own words, but was interrupted with a dismissive hand as he spoke.

"Bad there is no reason to hide, I know what I saw...It's okay." he comforts me, a smile tugging at his face 

."But... he saw my horns. And I let him see them to" I stammered, knowing he probably would be upset with me

"I've told you to hide them your whole life...." He began, but before he was able to continue Interrupted again.

"Please Father. I trust Skeppy. With my entire being. I love him...Please trust me when I say that he won't try to harm me...or whatever it is you're scared of." I let out loudly, tears building in my eyes from fear that Father would make me end what I had.

"Bad. I trust you...But You cannot let anyone see them." He spoke, pausing when he stood up "including Skeppy."

"What are they then!?" I cried out in anger, slamming my hands on the desk, tears streaming down my face.

"Bad, listen to me, I can't tell you. You will learn in time I promise but I can't tell you now. Wipe your tears my son, it's okay." Father replied with his normal cool tone.

"I'M NOT YOUR SON! DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I shouted, anger rising inside my stomach for absolutely no reason....

Oh wait...I was angry because I was scared...Father was all I had and so was Skeppy...If father took Skeppy from me I'd never forgive him...He never wanted to tell me why I had them, or why I had to hide them...It wasn't fair.

"You're a priest. I have these horns. You TOLD me I was adopted....So why won't you just tell me what they are?!" I shouted, falling to my knees from anger and covering my face that still had tears streaming down them.

"Bad... I can't tell you... I'm sorry" I could tell his voice was genuine but why...Why can't he tell me?

He came forward to help me up, and as soon as I felt the warmth of his hand on my shoulder I reacted.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted, slapping Fathers hand away.

My hood fell from behind the horns where I had pulled it up to before I came in here. I felt it fall to my shoulders with how fast I got up and ran from his office.

Tears still ran down my face as I pulled my hood back over my head covering as much of my face as I could. I ran out of the Church into the cold night's rain and started running towards Skeppys house...The only place I could think of to go.

I hate father... I hate him...Why won't he just tell me... All my life I've just wanted to know what they are...But he wont tell me...He wont even tell me why...I'm going to Skeppys... and I'm not coming back...I hate him...it's his fault.

Though Skeppys house was a few blocks away I didn't stop running through the rain as it hit my skin, feeling like needles as it bounced off my cheeks and hands that were exposed.

When I rounded the last corner to Skeppys house I saw him sitting on a red rocking chair beside his front door, rocking back and forth with his eyes closed...He always looked so amazing, no matter what he did...How did I explain what happened with father? Was it worth it to tell him?...Of course it is....He'll know what to do.