all i want | tommy & tubbo

chapter four - dream?

Tommy woke up to the greeting of a cold breeze drifting around his tent. He huddled in his sleeping bag, he was so desperate to attain the warmth surrounding him. The feeling of warmth was so gentle compared to the sharpness of the cold.

Tommy peeked out the zipper of his tent. Although the sun was disguised by a sheet of grey clouds, Tommy could tell it was only just beginning to rise.

Exile was the worst thing to happen to Tommy at this moment. He couldn't handle it. From staying up all night, too not eating properly for days at a time. Nothing else was important to him, apart from Tubbo.

Tommy wasn't one to deal with his emotions well. He often avoided them or handled them poorly. In this case, he avoided them.

With everything that had happened recently, Tommy thought it'd be best to push his emotions aside. His feelings mattered to nobody else, so why should they matter to him.

Tommy realized he was starting to fall into a panic attack. He didn't get them often, but when he did he handled them incorrectly and wouldn't know how to react.

His thoughts were all over the place and his mental state wasn't where he hoped it to be. He despised the feeling of betrayal and loneliness. It ate him up inside. It made him feel sick.

His breathing pattern was now muddled up and out of sync, he was shivering and whimpering.

Tommy squinted his eyes, forcing his tears to slowly fall through them. His hands were tightly fisted with his fingernails carving sharply into his palms. He hated this.

Trapped in his mind Tommy didn't hear Dream come upon his tent.
"Tommy?" Dream said. "Tommy are you okay in there what's happening?"
Dream heard Tommys gasps for air and unzipped the tent himself. Dream automatically knew what was happening and rushed to comfort Tommy.

-

Dream was aware of Tommy's panic attacks. He had been in this situation before.

When Tommy was young he would frequently play hide and seek with Tubbo. They were only small so they were able to hide in tiny spaces effortlessly.

Tommy once got stuck in a small, hidden space. When he realised he was stuck, his anxiety started to rise and he began to panic. Due to all the crying Tommy had no strength to shout for help.

Tommy was trapped in that space for hours. He assumed nobody was looking for him, and he was stuck there permanently.

Dream had heard Tommys soft cries from walking past. Once he discovered young Tommy trapped in a thin opening, Dream pulled him out.

When Tommy finally got out, he was extremely pale. As if all the life was drained out of him.

Even at a young age, Tommy despised hugs. Dream did as well. But when Dream barely hugged him it brought Tommy back. Leaving him feeling better than before.

-

"Hey. Tommy, your okay, your okay," Dream sat beside him, his arm around Tommy's shoulder attempting to calm him down. Tommy looked up at dream; tears streaming down his face.

Tommy attempted to hide his tears from Dream. He hated people watching him cry, crying wasn't like him. Tubbo was the only one who he tolerated to see him cry. But it was no use, Dream had already seen and it would be foolish to try and hide it now.

He hated it when he would break down, it didn't make him feel like a "big man" as Tubbo used to call him. It made him feel like a baby.

Once Tommy gained stability Dream slowly got up and escorted himself out of Tommy's tent, allowing him to gain some fresh air.
"Listen, Tommy, you've got to stop doing that to yourself," Dream explained. Tommy looked up at him, sort of embarrassed.

"I don't mean to do it. If I could stop it I would," Tommy said back, the anger in his voice was strikingly obvious. Dream giggled it off.

"Tell you what," Dream said catching Tommy's attention. "I'll stay here with you until you're stable enough to be on your own." Tommy looked up at him disgusted.
"I don't need a babysitter Dream, I'm fine," Tommy replied, offended by the offer.
Dream shrugged. "Suit yourself, that's fine by me".

Although Tommy hated the thought of being with Dream, he sat and thought about it for a moment. Perhaps it wasn't such a terrible idea. He was desperate for company, and Dream wasn't that bad.

"...wait," Tommy said, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "I guess you could stay," He mumbled trying not to show his desperation.

Dream nodded and set down his backpack to assemble another tent.

After hours of communicating, it proceeded to get dark again. The stars revealed themselves and crickets chirped in the bushes.

Tommy would frequently swear and yell at the crickets for constantly bothering him. Dream did not know about this trait until he previously went to find firewood and he heard Tommy in the distance scream "oh FUCK OFF YOU STUPID CRICKETS". It made dream laugh.

Tommy was led on the grass gazing at the stars with his compass in his hand. Today had been decent, better than most days at least.

He preferred it when Dream was around, he thought of him as a friend. And although Dream was a bit of a dick, he was good company.

"Hey, dream?" Tommy asked. Dream looked at him to indicate his concern. "Why has nobody came to visit me?" By nobody, he meant Tubbo but felt it was better to include everyone in the question.

Dream was taken back by the question and fell silent for a moment. "I don't know Tommy, " he said. His voice was soft, it was reassuring to Tommy.

"Okay then..." Tommy began "When you go home tonight, can you bring them back with you... Tomorrow?" He asked. "Maybe we can have some sort of party".

Tommy predicted a flat out no but was surprised by the outcome.
Dream smiled at him and nodded. "Sure I don't see why not"

The fact that Dream had agreed filled Tommy up with nothing but hope. He was finally going to see his friends again.