Start from Scratch (JenLisa Adaptation)

40

'A Bad Night'

Lisa's POV

It's early April now and some four months have passed since Jennie has officially moved in. We've become very close in that time and things have gone relatively well. Jennie continues her therapy and very slowly pulling herself back together.

Jennie and I continue our intimacy strengthening exercises. We spend 5 minutes touching each other nearly every single evening. I love it and I know she does too. Though she says little about it, I know that if we don't have a session, the next day she will be crabby. I added some more things. At least once a week, we have to write a small note saying something good about the other. I make time to spend just talking with Jennie.

Keeping the lines of communication open is important. We added another one just last week by taking a bath together. There was no sex, but we sat in the tub and washed each other. Then we cuddled and talked. We're still taking it very slow physically. Our mental bond is the one we're focusing on.

It was very nice. I'm falling for her more each day. I know she feels the same way.

Jennie still works at the hospital and has auditions for a few parts but nothing panned out yet. I can tell it's frustrating for her. Me, I continue to work both jobs and still work on my music.

While we've become very close, we've had some bad days here and there. Jennie continues to have nightmares. She still hates being touched by anyone else but me. She'll let Rosé and Jisoo touch her, but somewhat begrudgingly. She has days where she's particularly moody and combative.

We've had a few arguments, they're usually over small things. I'll do something that would only seem a minor annoyance, but it will cause Jennie to blow up. It's a part of her trauma and afterward, she feels badly.

Some are just normal arguments, like any couple have. It's complicated, but I wouldn't have it in any other way.

It's late on a Friday night and I'm coming home from a shift at The Playpen. Sometimes Jennie waits up for me, sometimes not. Personally I like it when she's asleep and I can just crawl into the bed with her.

Tonight, as I entered the apartment, I saw the lights are off. But as soon as I shut the door, I quickly became aware of Jennie's screaming.

Oh shoot, she's having another nightmare.

Rushing into the bedroom, I flip on the lights to see her violently thrashing in the bed, alternately screaming 'No' and 'Please don't.'

"Jennie... Jen... Wake up..." I say loudly as I nudge her a bit.

I've learned to be careful when she's having a nightmare. Once a few months ago, she was having one and I grabbed her to wake her up. Frightened, disoriented and not even awake, she punched me in the stomach, which hurts like hell. I was tempted to tell her later that she had done that, but I knew it would only lay more guilt on her. There was no bruise so I never told her what she had done and I never will. Some secrets are worth keeping.

So sitting on the edge of the bed, I gently shake her away, but at the same time, maintaining my distance. I hate seeing her like this, I really do.

"Jennie... Jennie please wake up." I call out again as I gave her a bigger nudge and then backed off.

She shakes violently a few seconds more and then screams and suddenly sits up in the bed.

For a few moments she sits there, her hands shaking and saying nothing. I need to give her a moment to wake up.

"Jennie, are you okay now?" I say cautiously.

She puts her hand up to keep me away. "Just give me a sec..."