Start from Scratch (JenLisa Adaptation)

19

'Mask'

Jennie's POV

It's been just over a month since, how do I describe it, that day since Lisa and I fought. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed that when Kai called to invite me to dinner, I just snapped I guess. His voice as calm as soothing and I just got sucked in.

I told him that I had rented a spare room in someone's apartment and just got kicked out and asked if I could come back. I had no idea how he'd react.

He said he wanted to meet and I did at a restaurant. He bought me a nice dinner and again apologized numerous times for his actions. He drank soda as he said he was serious about him not drinking anymore. I asked if I could come back again and he said he would love to have me back. I just fell back into the old routine just like that.

We ate dinner and talked of good times. Kai told me about the play he was performing and a guest stint on a drama series, 'To The Beautiful You'. He played an idol singer who had a few lines.

By the time we finished, I knew Lisa had gone to work so I told Kai I'd meet him back at our place and left. I was still furious at Lisa for what she did and I packed as quickly as possible. I left her a simple note with the ₩100,000 I owed her for the last month and left. I can't say I didn't have some regrets, but I quickly suppressed any of those feelings as soon as they came up.

Kai welcomed me home and almost immediately treated me like a queen. He couldn't be more nicer, more attentive and caring. It was like a dream. I kept expecting him to go back to drinking or the mean version of him to come out, but that never happened.

I told him I wanted to hold off on any serious intimacy until we were better established again. I just didn't want to be right off, for reasons I couldn't quite explain. Surprisingly he was very accepting and said it was a good idea.

I went with Kai to his AA meetings and indeed he was serious about it.

I could say everything was perfect, like a pristine garden, but it wasn't. Gardens have weeds and my weeds were thoughts of Lisa, brief pang of guilt or just missing her. Each time they came up, I yanked the proverbial weed and threw it away. But they kept popping up, despite me being still angry at her. I told myself they would eventually stop. I loved Kai and that was that.

It's been 5 weeks and we sleep together, cuddle, kiss and fool around a bit, but no sex yet. Part of me wants to, part of me still wants to make sure things are perfect. Though I'm not sure what exactly perfect is. I just can't really define it.

I'll probably never see Lisa again, which oddly doesn't sit well with me.

Kai had changed, things were good and all was good.

It was just at the beginning of our sixth week back together and I was at work at the hospital. It was time for lunch and I was headed to the patio outside where I planned to eat, when I heard my name being called.

"Jennie Kim?"

I turned to see a woman in her early 40's with a brown hair in a business suit. I didn't recognize her at first, but soon remember. She was Gianna Jun, an actress and a casting director I auditioned for last year.

"Gianna, right?"

She smiled and shook my hand. "Yes, I thought that was you. Nice to see you again. You work here I take?"

It was just after Kai and I moved to Seodaemun-gu when Gianna was holding auditions for a new horror film. I auditioned and got to the final three. I talked with her one on one and we got along well. I even found out she did the casting for my favorite movie so I was able to ask her all kinds of questions. I was absolutely sure I had the part nailed, but when I never heard back, I knew I didn't. I was really disappointed by that one.