Dear Kulsum✅

8.

KULSUM'S POV.

Reaching out my hands beside me, I looked for the bottle. My gaze was blurry; I could hardly see a thing but I felt happy. No, I was on top of the world. I couldn't tell whether my blurry eyes are from the tears that just keeps falling like a waterfall or if it's from the effects of the shot I gave myself. Bottom line is, I don't care which it is.

Whoever glances at me right now will think I'm out of my senses, which maybe I am but still. I'm crying while smiling widely, laughing even! Yeah...I'm perfectly normal.

My hand pushed one of the bottles I was looking for, this made me smile knowing that I finally found it. I hastily took off the bottle's cover and dumped its content in my hand. I picked up three pills and put it in my mouth, quickly swallowing the pill that should taste bitter to normal people, but it doesn't taste like anything to me. My taste buds might just be numb for all I know.

I closed my eyes but the memory of the events was still fresh in my mind. I needed to forget it, I had to. So, deciding that three pills wasn't enough, I just kept putting the pills in my mouth and swallowing it till darkness consumed my whole being.

And that was where I was at peace, there was no one to haunt me by constantly reminding me of what I lost.

~*~

I don't understand how my family could act so calm towards these strangers. Yet, mom's words from the day she and dad were quarrelling made sense now.

I didn't know what to do. The last time I felt this was long ago and till date, the effects still haunt me. It probably will always for the rest of my life and I'd rather it been soon than for me to live long. I don't think I'll survive. No, I know I won't survive.

I leaned back on the couch Zayn and I are currently occupying. Dinner ended a while ago. Now, we're all just sitting in the living room chatting. Wait, let me rephrase that. They are chatting while Zayn and I kept shut. We still haven't uttered a word since we arrived.

"Well, I guess it's better we start talking about why we're here in the first place. Don't you think so?" My dad asked after a while of them chit chatting.

The others nodded while Zayn and I just stared at them. I was confused. I didn't know what they were talking about and by the looks of it, Zayn doesn't too. The others though seemed very well aware of it. Guess, we're the odd ones.

"Personally, I think it's a good idea. Our families could use some starting over right everyone?" This time, it was my mother that spoke up.

The woman smiled, "Exactly. My family and I are beyond happy that your family agreed to our proposal. We were hesitant at first..." her gaze met mine. I didn't back down, she was the one that looked away eventually, "But now, we are at ease"

The man nodded in agreement, "We are. So how about a toast to a new beginning?" he raised the tumbler in his hand while the others nodded in agreement with smiles on their faces.

"Cheers to the soon to be bride and groom" The woman, his wife, said raising her tumbler as well.

Say what now?

"To Hanif and Sabrina. May Allah bless your union" My mother said as she looked around the room with a wide smile etched on her beautiful face. When her eyes met mine, they lingered for a while before she offered me a seemingly warm smile and looked back to the new couple.

Yay. I'm happy for them.

You got the sarcasm right?

~*~