The Girl Who Wanted Everything

M for moron

As anticipated, the weather the following day was miserable. Rain dripped from the eaves of the covered deck and seagulls wheeled morosely against a grey sky. Sam took himself off to his room, where he could be seen working on his laptop from the doorway.

Giselle had borrowed my mum's car and gone somewhere, no-one seemed exactly sure where. Jamie and Adam were playing board games in the living room. Ronnie was snoozing, and my mum had decided to give the house a thorough clean.

I curled up on the sofa with my book, but I was finding it hard to concentrate with Jamie and Adam messing about so close at hand. They, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem ignoring me. It's like my introvert super-power. If I sit quietly, people sometimes forget I am there at all.    

Over the rim of my book, I could see Adam in profile. His features were so... stark. His jawline was super-defined, his nose broad and his lips ridiculously full. He was almost a caricature. I could see the muscles behind his shoulders tighten through his black tee as he shuffled scrabble tiles and allocated them. Who knew scrabble could be such a physical activity?

"Ooh, I've got a good one, I'm going to go first,'' Jamie chirped. Right, time to get back to my book. "Pussy.'' She smirked at Adam, reaching out to place her tiles. "Like the cat.''  

How puerile.  

All hopes for book-focus vanished. Adam glanced quickly in my direction. Jamie might have forgotten that I was around, but apparently he had not. He had the grace to look embarrassed and moved on quickly.  

"Puritan,'' he clacked down tiles using the "p" from the aforementioned feline.   

"Umm,'' Jamie pulled faces and twiddled with the end of hair for a bit. "Moony,'' she said finally. "I am using the y over here.''  

Using the "r" from puritan, you could also make "moron,'' I thought to myself.  

Adam looked at his tiles for a while and re-arranged them on the slide. I tried to find my place again in my book. I was precisely two words further than I had been when I began reading.

"Question,'' he said finally, placing tiles downward to join the end of "puritan".

"Oh my God,'' Jamie wailed. "That's such a good one! And you are on a double word score too! I will never catch up with you, and I have such DUMB letters: like 2 "e"s, an "i", a "u", and "r" an "m" and a "w".    What am I supposed to make with that rubbish?"

"Requiem,'' I muttered under my breath. Using the "q" from question you could do it.

"All I can do is emu,'' she continued, not hearing me. "Emus – if I use the s over here.''

That was all I could take. "Actually, can I play?" I asked, standing up. "I know you've already started, I will just slot myself in.'' I would probably still beat these clowns, I thought smugly. 

Jamie looked a bit annoyed, but moved co-operatively over for me anyway. Adam gave me a wide smile.  

"Sure thing,'' he said, "Always got room for a fellow word-nerd.''

I didn't win the game. Adam did, but to be fair, it was pretty close. Jamie was looking mentally checked out at the end and filed her nails intently between turns.  

I helped pack up the board and wandered through to my bedroom. Passing Sam's door, I could see he was engrossed in whatever he was doing.  

"Hey,'' I said, leaning against the door frame. He quickly shut down his open window and turned to look at me. What had he been doing exactly? Working on that photo he took of me? I hoped he hadn't taken me seriously about the lunatic asylum.

"Hi,'' he lounged back in his chair and threaded his fingers together. He didn't get up.

"What are you doing?" I probed.

"Nothing much. Just some art,'' he shrugged.

"Am I allowed to see it?" I asked.

"It's not finished yet.''

Why was talking to him so difficult?  It was like I had to constantly prod and poke and squeeze  to get even the tiniest response out of him, and that went so against my own grain. Is this how people experienced talking to me?

"Where did your mom go this morning?" I tried again. A shadow crossed his face this time. Had I over-stepped the mark?

"It's not like she tells me," was all he said.

"Jamie and Adam and I played scrabble this morning,'' I decided changing the subject was best. "It was fun. You should join us next time.''

"Jamie played scrabble?" he arched an eyebrow and grinned slightly. Finally, some common ground.

"Yeah, you wouldn't think, right? It was probably because Adam wanted to.'' I saw the shutters come down in his face again and he glanced back towards his screen, a clear signal he wanted to get back to whatever project he had going on.

"Ok see ya later Sam,'' I said as casually as I could manage, but my heart was sinking. Somehow, every time I spoke to him I felt like he was drifting further and further out of my reach.