The Girl Who Wanted Everything

Some girls are like peonies

Tyler looked considerably more excited by Jamie's arrival than he had by mine.  That was until he realised Adam was Jamie's boyfriend.  

The two of them moved through the party, Adam's arm at her back: greeting people, laughing and cracking jokes. I could see other people warming to them instantly. They were unstoppable.  It wasn't long before Sam began to lose interest in our small talk and drifted in their direction. I don't even think he realized he was doing it. It was like an alternate form of gravity to which everyone, other than myself, was subject.

I sat down on the stone wall and busied myself with my drink: taking really small sips while keeping the cup at my mouth for ages. It hid a large portion of my face and allowed me to look at other people without being so obvious. 

Sam was hovering near Jamie, not really chatting with anyone else but apparently content. I was captivated by his lashes. They cast a shadow in the firelight and were long enough to stroke his cheek when he blinked.   

I think my mouth may have been hanging open a little, because when I looked up Adam was standing in front of me, hands in his pockets, watching me with a smirk.

I immediately snorted some of my drink up my nose and then had a coughing fit. Adam waited calmly for me to regain my composure.

"You were right, they are nice guys your friends,'' he said. "Steff especially is laugh.''

"Yeah, right?" I replied, still trying to catch my breath.

"You look... just... WOW by the way,'' he swallowed. Just as well it was dark, my nervous rash seemed to be flaring up in places I didn't even know I had places.

"Thanks.'' He sat down on the wall beside me.

"You okay sitting here by yourself?" he asked.

"I am not really a people person, you know. How does the saying go? Just because I am alone it doesn't mean I'm lonely. I am people-watching.''

"I saw that,'' he grinned. "That's not what I meant though.'' He noticed my confusion and continued, "how can I explain it? I guess it's like – some people are obvious you know? Others aren't, and you need to watch for them?" I was sort of seeing where he was going, but he still had more to say. "So maybe some girls would be like, peonies, say.''

"Peonies, Adam?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. You know? Like large blooms. Colorful. Fragrant. Hard to miss.''  

I rolled my eyes a bit. Yes, Adam, I am well aware of the girls who are like peonies.  

"But other people,'' he went on, "would be more like violets, maybe." This was getting weird.  "Like small flowers that prefer to grow in a shady corner,'' he clarified.

Hmmm, delightful. Doesn't everybody want to be that insignificant little flower growing at the back of the garden.   

"But you know?'' he said with a grin, ''when you hold a violet up and examine it closely, it's every bit as beautiful as a peony right? And it smells amazing.''

It was so cheesy, but it was also ridiculously sweet.

"I don't need to be examined closely,'' I said. "I am fine.'' He nodded, and we sat there for a minute.

"You don't have a drink?" I commented. 

"Naah. I don't drink – not alcohol anyway,'' he said.

"No meat. No alcohol. Is your body a temple Adam?" I didn't mean to sound sarcastic, but years of practice rendered it unavoidable. He laughed.

"Yes, actually. It's where I worship at the altar of chocolate.'' We both burst into guffaws.

When the chuckling subsided, I said:

"Can I ask what happened to your mum? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I don't want to pry.''

"It's not a secret or anything,'' he said. "She was driving one day and she was behind a truck, one of those huge 18-wheeler ones. It swerved for some reason, and jack-knifed into her minivan; swatted it like a fly I am told. It's amazing she survived, but her spinal cord was damaged.''  

I was speechless. What an unbelievable ordeal for a family to go through.

"I am so sorry Adam,'' was all I could manage. "I honestly can't think of anything worse.''

"Really?" He sounded surprised. "I can. You know, it's been a real eye-opener to me how my mum has handled all this. She picked herself up, found new hobbies, new friends when hers abandoned her, built new dreams.''

''They abandoned her?'' I was disbelieving.

''Not intentionally, but as time went on, they stopped asking her to join them when they knew it would be difficult. No more hikes in the mountains. No more quick yoga classes. So people drift, you see? But she is the strongest, most positive person I know. I figure, if she can do that, under the circumstances, then so can I.''

"No, I see that Adam, I really do. It amazes me how you approach everything. You're so... positive and uninhibited. I could really use some of that.''

He grinned. 

 "I don't know, I rather like you a bit dark. It's quirky, and sometimes you need a bit of darkness to make the light look brighter. For me it was like that anyway. When things were darkest, I had to choose how I was going to respond to my situation. The day I decided my own happiness was up to no-one besides myself, was the day I was free.''

A loud giggle followed by a thud shifted my awareness back to the rest of the party. I had been so engrossed in what Adam was saying that everything else seemed to have faded to black. I was only dimly aware that Jamie's laughter had been getting louder and louder and starting to sound a bit hysterical. She was sitting rather ungracefully on the sand, her legs splayed at an awkward angle. Sam and Tyler were each trying to give her a hand-up.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" she was saying, swatting their hands away. "I just slipped is all.''

"Shit.'' Adam stood up quickly. "She's drunk too much. I had better get her home.'' He went over and pulled Jamie gently to her feet.

"Babe!" she giggled. "Babe! I slipped.'' She hung against his shoulder heavily, and he deftly removed the cup from her hand and set it aside without her noticing.

"Woah there,'' he comforted as she staggered. "You may have hurt your ankle in that fall. I tell you what, let's go home and check it out. I'll piggyback you.''    

He hoisted her onto his back, she still howling with laughter. It looked terribly awkward, with her being so tall, but Adam was resolute. Luckily, it wasn't far to go across the beach to get home.

As they stumbled off, Steff plopped down on the wall beside me.

"That level of physical perfection should really be illegal,'' he sighed, staring after them.

"Oh, come off it Steff,'' I grumped. "She isn't that bloody perfect.''

"Jamie?" he sounded bemused. "Ohhhh, no Hon, that's not my kind of thing at all.'' He patted my leg reassuringly. "I meant her man.''