The Girl Who Wanted Everything

Weird and dysfunctional

"Didn't you always have everything you ever wanted?" I asked her. "The beautiful clothes, the perfect figure, the big house, the private school? You're the girl that all the boys want and all the girls want to be like.'' She had simmered down now too, all the anger blown out of her and we settled into mutual sadness and confusion.

"Nadine,'' she said. "All I wanted when I was a little girl, was for my family to stay together. I used to come to your house and see your parents together, chatting... being so normal. My parents yelled at each other all day long. And then they separated, and my dad forgot I existed, and my mum started drinking. Thank God for Sam. He was at least someone I could talk to, even if I never saw him. Things were really hard for me, and I started drinking too, and dating – I probably dated too much or the wrong guys. It was never people who cared for me or were any good for me, until I met Adam.''

The story sounded peculiar to my ears. I was so used to thinking of Jamie as someone with the golden touch, someone for whom everything came so easily. But I could see it now. It was like turning the dial on a pair of binoculars, and everything that was blurry coming suddenly into focus.

"I have so misjudged you,'' I whispered. "I know it sounds stupid, but I didn't realise what Adam meant to you. To me, it looked like you and Sam: like Adam was just some kind of toy to you.''  She blushed and then she pulled up a second lawn chair and sat down next to me.

"Since we are being honest,'' she confessed, "I said I never kissed Sam, which is true. But it's not like I didn't want to. There IS something there. There always has been. But he has a girlfriend back in Geneva and it's really not clear how we could make things work between us. Maybe one day though. I think we both want that. It makes me mad as hell to see you with Adam, but it's not fair for me to stop you. In fact, you two would probably make a really good couple."  She smiled wryly. "I am just terrified of not having him in my life anymore. I'm not sure I can be trusted to handle myself without him.''

We both stared quietly at the floor for a minute.

"What if... um...,'' I didn't want to be presumptuous, "it's just a suggestion. What if Adam was still in your life, but he was more like a friend, you know? And on top of that, you could have, I don't know, another supportive friend to keep an eye on you? Maybe someone who has known you your whole life?"

She laughed. "You are such a crazy chicken Nadine,'' she said. "You have hated me since we were children. Why would you want to be my friend now?" 

I swallowed. "I would say: because I've grown up a lot, but I am not sure that's something I am qualified to decide. Maybe a better reason is because, whether we like it or not, we are a kind of weird, dysfunctional family, right?"

She laughed, and then she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder. We were still sitting like that when Ronnie opened the door that led from the house into the garage.

"What are you girls doing sitting in here?" she asked, clutching her robe around her, but sounding encouragingly fresh and perky, "And why is Adam standing out on the pavement with all his bags?" 

Adam! We had completely forgotten about him. He was locked out of the house from both sides. I chuckled, and Jamie rolled her eyes. Then she nudged me as if to say: go on, you talk to him. She and Ronnie went back in through the house and I unlocked the garage door and went out to him.

Adam was sitting on the ground next to the garage, his head leaned back against the wall as if he were taking in the sunshine, or praying.

"Hey,'' I ventured, quietly, and he sprung to his feet.

"God, I am sorry Nadine,'' he said. "I have made such a mess of everything. I guess I was hoping, hoping that if Jamie was developing feelings for Sam she wouldn't need me so much anymore, and maybe I would be free to be with you.''

"No, it's fine,'' I smiled. "We sorted everything out – for the first time in our lives, actually. So we should probably thank you for that.''

He laughed. "And... um...?" he looked at me nervously, and bit his lip.

"I think it's going to be ok. Maybe we could just, like, take things a little bit slowly?" He nodded.  

"We could, I don't know, go out maybe when you are back in town?" He pulled his phone out of his back pocket.   "Hey Dini?" he grinned. "Can I please have your number?"

The front door of the house opened behind us and Sam and Jamie came out onto the driveway. Sam was looking so much better than he had yesterday. A huge weight seemed to have been lifted off his shoulders. I didn't know if it was because Jamie and Adam had broken up, or because meeting his father for the first time had gone better than he had imagined it would, but I was looking forward to finding out.

"Hey man? What are you doing?" Adam asked, as Sam picked up his bags and started carrying them back into the house.

Jamie folded her arms and pouted. "Bringing your bags back inside, you dumbass. Now I suggest you move it and get yourself back in here too – before I change my mind."

The End

Hope you enjoyed the story.  The other day, I heard this old song on the radio that reminded me so much of how Nadine felt about Jamie.  In fact, KT Tunstall even looks like how I might imagine Nadine looking.  It's also just such a fun song, and a great way to play out...