Grief

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Listen to Say Something by a Great Big World while reading this. Trust me :)

Grief. That's all they felt for the past week. People described grief as immense pain, overtaking your thoughts and clouding your every moment, and Piper thought that's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard. She longed for the pain, she desperately wanted it to engulf her, tear her to shreds, shatter her. But all she felt was emptiness. She barely got out of bed, preferring to bask in the nothingness that her feelings were by herself with minimal contact to any humans that will offer their useless condolences and pity looks. For Finn, it was movement, not stillness, that helped keep his grief at bay. He felt like the emotions were going to swallow him whole. Pain, anger, resentment and fear. He and Piper haven't spoken since that day. He saw her small figure, curled up under the covers, silent. He badly wanted to speak to her, he wanted to tell her it was all going to be okay, that it'll work out, that happiness is an emotion they would both be able to feel again, but even he wasn't sure of that. Somehow, even though he wouldn't admit it, talking to her reminded him of the loss. He barely remembered what happened in that hospital room, except the word "stillborn" and some details about the way they were going to give birth to the child. Daughter. Aurora, they decided to name her. Somehow he found it ironic that the original Aurora managed to wake up from the dead, but their daughter still hasn't. Their daughter. He held her after she was born. It was only a few minutes, but seeing her blue eyes and tufts of brunette hair, he could see her whole future. He pictured her standing in front of him at 1-year-old, 10, at 15 during her prom, 18 during graduation, 25.... The creak of the door opening snapped him out of his reverie. He looked up at the smiling blonde, silence lingering between them.

"hey" she silently said it, careful. As if he was fragile, close to breaking.

"How did you even get in?" That was the last thing on his mind, but he desperately wanted to talk about anything else. She held up a key, shrugging her shoulders

"You really thought Piper didn't give me a copy?"
"fair enough. Amy, she's upstairs"

"I know" She said, sitting next to him on the couch "I want to check how you are"

"Me? As well as I can be "

"Finn" she sighed "Whatever pain you're feeling; you're trying to avoid by busying yourself. That won't work. Avoiding the sadness never helps, trust me"

"I'm fine"

"I don't believe that for a second"
" Amy I said-"
" And I said I don't believe it" She gave him a firm look

"Fine? You want to know? I'm mad. I'm mad because why us? WHY US? After everything she's been through, she deserves happiness. I- We deserve happiness. Why did it have to happen to us? I'm angry, mad, scared. I don't even know what to tell her. She's up there every single day, feeling guilty. I know her. She thinks it's her fault. She wasn't good enough. That's obviously not true and she- I- "His voice was raspy at this point, cutting off as he struggled to breathe through the words "I can't even be there for her because I don't know what to say. I can't tell her it'll be okay, that we'll get over this. What if we don't? What if we never do Amy?"

Amy was silently listening, her eyes scanning his. Her face held an expression, not pity, she knew better than that. They didn't need her pity; she didn't pity them because it wouldn't help them.

"Finn" She slowly spoke, trying to make sure every word gets to him "You're grieving. Stop thinking of Piper for a second. She's stronger than we both think, and you know that. You can't help her if you haven't helped yourself first. Give yourself time to mourn, to process. And for god's sake speak to her. You can't go through this healing process by yourself and neither can she"

"You don't know what I need. You don't know what she needs"

"I know enough" she left him alone in the living room, giving his shoulder a squeeze before leaving.

~•~•~•~•~•~

"Pipes?" He whispered, the sound radiating in the room

She didn't turn to face him, only making a small voice in acknowledgment

He sat facing her, his eyes meeting hers. Blue meets brown. Both full of darkness, misery and regret. But somewhere deep inside, a shimmer of hope and love buried deep, helping them get through every moment.

"I know" He said, because that's the only thing he could say, the only thing he was sure of. He knows. 

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