Thirteen

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Kash

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Kash

Lo sat in the bedroom, crying her eyes out, as I sat outside the door listening to the heartbreaking sobs that escaped her lips. When she said that the wedding was off, I felt as if someone reached into my chest and ripped my heart out, stomping on it until there was nothing left. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was just a squirrel trying to get a nut, but what fucked me up is that I made yet another girl fall in love with me, while I was in love with someone else.

"You remember the day we met?" I asked, placing my head against the door. "During college orientation, I remember spotting you from across the way, wearing that bright ass yellow shirt and those tight fitting blue jeans. You were so beautiful and innocent, looking confident, as you walked around with a smile on your face."

"I remember." She finally spoke. "I could feel your eyes on me as I looked and saw you staring at me. I thought you were the cutest boy I had ever laid eyes on, and you were."

"And I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the entire world. I fell in love with you the moment we locked eyes." I heard her sniffling, silently crying, as I felt the tears swell up in my eyes. She was hurting because of me. Me and my stupid ass decisions. "What about our first date?"

"What about it, Kash?"

"Do you remember where I took you?" I asked her. I wanted us to reminisce on the good times we had, knowing that the good outweighed the bad in our relationship, in hopes that she'd see how perfect we are for each other.

"You took me to a nighttime movie at the park. They were showing Dirty Dancing, one of my all-time favorite movies, and you had a little picnic set up for us."

"Yeah... I had that entire night planned out perfectly, but who knew that it would rain?" I heard her laugh a little, as she sucked some snot back into her nose.

"Everyone knew, because they had umbrellas and ponchos." She said, making me chuckle as I licked my lips.

"We still made the best of it, didn't we?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we did." She agreed.

"So why can't we make the best out of this situation? I know that I hurt you, and from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry, but, Lo... I can't lose you. Without you, I am nothing, and if you let me, I'll do whatever it takes to get us back to where we once were. You wanna postpone the wedding? Cool, I'll take care of it. You wanna go to couple's counseling? Say less, just book the appointment, and I'll be there. I will do whatever it takes, baby, and that's on my mama." I was begging, something that I never thought I'd do, and yet, here I was. Begging and pleading on the outside of the door, like a wet, hungry dog, that just wants to come inside the warm house and be fed.

It was silent on both sides of the door, as I sat there with my ear pressed up against the door. Lo hadn't said a word, but I know that she was still there, because I could hear her sniffling. Knowing her, she was probably sitting there thinking about what I had said, debating if she wanted to forgive me or not. I hope that she does though, but if she doesn't... I won't stop fighting for her until she takes me back.

"I just need some time." She finally spoke up, making me sigh with relief.

"Okay, baby, take all the time you need." I said, feeling a little glimmer of hope for us.

"But... You have to move out."

"Move out? Move out and go where?" I furrowed my eyebrows, not seeing that shit coming at all, even though it was as clear as day.

"Kash, we need a break. If you don't want to leave, then that's fine, but if you don't leave, then I will." She said. I sighed heavily, dropping my face into the palm of my hand.

"Alright, fine, I'll stay in a hotel or something, but can you promise me one thing?" I asked.

"What?"

"Promise me that you won't fuck Vic again." I didn't want to leave her here alone, only because I had a feeling that Vic would bring his snake ass over here and try to fuck her in our bed. I swear on everything, I would kill his ass if I ever witness that. Actually, I take that back... I was going to kill him regardless, because a voice in the back of my head was telling me that he was the reason why Lo found out about me and Bella. I tried so hard to ignore that voice, but I couldn't, because the more I tried... The louder the voice got. From the moment he moved in, everything has been out of whack, and I know that he was the blame. The only problem is that I didn't have any proof.

"Promise that you won't fuck Bella, and I'll think about it." She hissed, making me furrow my eyebrows. The fuck she mean, she'll think about it?

"What the fuck you mean, you'll think about it? Either you're going to continue to fuck him or you're not, because I don't plan on fucking Bella, or any other bitch, at all! That shit is dead, and I'm one hundred percent committed to trying to make this work." I said, feeling my anger rising.

"I promise I won't fuck him again." That made me feel a little more at ease, but I was still skeptical. I saw the way she looked the other night when he was giving her head, and it was a look I had never seen before. It was a mixture of lust, and something else that I couldn't identify. Not love, but possibly, maybe, deep affection?

"Okay, well... Can you open the door so I can pack my bags? I'll be out of here within the next hour." I heard some noises, and then the sound of the door being unlocked, as she pulled it open and looked up at me. Her once beautiful, bright brown eyes, were deep red, and dull as ever. As if she had shut down or something. Her skin, however, was still radiant and glowing, but I knew that had nothing to do with me... And that pissed me off. "I really am sorry, Lo."

"Leave the key on the counter before you leave." She murmured, brushing passed me as she went into one of the guest bedrooms. It was going to take a lot of work and dedication to get us back on track, but I was in this for the long haul, and I'll be damned if I let some dark skinned pretty boy come in between me and mine. It wasn't happening!

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