Viking, me.

Chapter 40- "I surrender ..."

I had not expected to return to this. The shadow of the woman I loved. I had hoped to arrive home to throwing Saoirse into my bed and sleeping all day and making her scream in pleasure all night.
She had begged me not to leave her side, but as her pain waned and her depression grew I couldn't hold back my anger. I hadn't been a father but she had been a mother. When she was alone she had to bear the news- I wasn't here.  Destin knew I was home.
I had been home days now- he must think I did not know. Or that I didn't care.

As I lay in bed with her bundled in my arms I couldn't help but think of  the milky smooth skin of her neck, the sloping curve of her youthful breasts. I had dreamt of her body while I was on the raid. I had daydreamed of her sex, I fantasised about how I would enter her with my dick. I felt instant guilt. I was hard even thinking about how we had fucked before I left her.  I couldn't ever see myself being like that with her again- or at least while she felt so depleted.
I pressed my lips to her forehead. She slept soundly. My hand rising to hover over her stomach. I had to know what it would have felt like. I rested my palm lightly on her stomach. Through her swaddling dress I could just about see the faintest outline of a small swelling. My fingers traced the line from her chest to where the bump swept away. She was early in her pregnancy. No more than two months or three months. The time I had been away- she was alone through it all.
Her breath faltered and then relaxed as I slid my hand under her dress and gently tranced her skin with my finger tips. The skin textures changing slightly as I passed her burn marks.

My hand passed her over her hip. My fingers finding her womanhood. I pushed one finger between her thighs but went no further. She was warm. Her body was responding to my touch. I could feel her heart beat jump. I wanted very much to be able to love her, to ravish her, to be entirely hers.

"Sven" she whispered I met her eyes. Her eyes were warm to me, her chin tilted up to me. The faintest hint of her breath on my mouth. I cupped her chin with my hand. Her slender fingers rested on my bare chest.
"Can I kiss you?"  the words leaving my mouth quicker than I could correct myself. My index finger sitting on her bottom lip. Her hands grabbed my hand and she ever so softly kissed the top of my finger. I watched her in amazement. She then wrapped her lips around my finger and licked it all over.
She looked at me and as she moved my hand to her waist she looked as if she was about to speak but I couldn't help but overindulge myself. I crushed my lips onto hers. Hard at first but softer then. I lay over on my back and pulled her with me so that she was laying on me.

Her lips met mine as hungry as I was.
It was my personal heaven- bliss. I couldn't help but melt at her touch. Breathless from the heat behind our kiss, I put a little distance between us. I didn't want to push her any further.
There was silence but our shallow breaths. Saoirse turned to rest her head on my shoulder.
"I missed you- Sven. Everyday you were gone I had something to tell you" her voice was soft.
I sigh, this affirmation fills my chest with a pressure I can only liken to that of pride.
"I won't ever leave you again" I say wrapping my arm around her.

"And Destin will pay for what he has done to us" Her eyes widened at my statement. I guess she didn't know how much I would have loved to be the father of her children- our children. It kind of shocked me when I thought it. I glided my thumb over her cheek softly, and watched as her lashes fluttered and her eyes closed over, the lush black lashes that framed her eyes sat softly on her cheek.

With every passing second I was astounded by her beauty. In this moment I was brought back to the second I laid my eyes on her. Back in Ireland her heritage home. Her rich hair illuminated in the Irish summer sun, her petite frame lent over the well wall. How her brown linen dress fit her frame- hiding her curves of corse but allowing my mind to imagine. From the initial distance I had seen her I knew I would need to see her up close. Using my crude Irish I had try to speak to her- her bewildered expression and then her response. I had been so relieved I hadn't forgotten all my Irish.