Viking, me.

Chapter 34- Beaten

Some days after my first cup of that foliage mix my mind set had completely changed, I was experiencing bouts of pure bliss and fits of worry and anxiety over the human forming with in me. I was fuelled by my complete overwhelming adoration for Sven. I wished I could expressed my need to him and send it over the lands to him. My worry would instil a longing for him to sooth me and ensure that we were soon to be a family.
Smoothing my hand over the exposed skin of my flat stomach. I daydreamed from time to time about my growing stomach, the magic of pregnancy and the wonders of motherhood. I had the best examples of maternal love.

Having never spent a day since arriving here with my loving grandmother far from my mind I could only picture her glee and warmth of excitement. Helga has been a strong force for me since Sven has been gone. Oh how I miss him. I could only imagine the adoration  and affection my own mother would bestow upon me and I hope dearly that my father and mother are proud of me, wherever they are now, Valhalla or Heaven.

As I had been advised the nausea hasn't been as frightful as it could have been with out the tincture. It comes in short waves in the early morning and in the afternoons also. Helga had been surprised that this sickness has started so early, as I was 'barely showing' as she described it. I think she might have been worried for me. Sometimes when I was working in the house and Helga was visiting, she watched me with the strangest and most distant expression, as if trying not to become too emotionally involved. 

"Why do you look so sad Helga?" I sat at that moment enjoying a period of bliss and contentment. "You seem to fear this change in me"  I smile at her looking from my sewing I'd picked up, to meet her eyes. That glassy distant look filling them again. 

She had her hands wrapped around a warm bowl of soup. She didn't respond to my question, Mearly mused over my busyness. "Perhaps" she began after a long pause "you should come stay with me for a couple of days"
Gazing over at her I couldn't get an understanding of why she'd ask me to leave the house.
"Saoirse, my dear. I just feel that with Sven gone now you may be better off staying with me"

I thought about what she had to say, yes the house is far from the village, isolated from the town and on the edge of the forest leaving us exposed. And yes the house was still unfinished since the fire but it's become my home.
"I know the situation is not ideal, and there are many things wrong with the house structurally and based on location." I shrugged my shoulders.
"But it's my home"

I couldn't imagine staying anywhere else. Her facial expression wasn't what I expected, having turned her down.
"Very well, I can't force you" I appreciated that she respected my choice. I didn't feel unsafe here. And I know I have eyes watching over me, Alaric and my new found grandmother.
"But I do hope you will visit daily and have supper with me tonight"
I smiled and responded happily "of course"

"Actually Helga, since we found ourselves to be related I have had many questions" I paused, analysing her reaction "and I can't rightly bring my own little life into the world with out knowing my full origin story"

"Ah, well that is a story for the ages" she smiled fondly. Her withered hands placing the bowl on the table.
"Your father, was always a caring young man, even as a boy he was very attentive. He helped me run my garden" I remember her home, full of herbs and tinctures lined up in the tables and shelves. "When I was young I married Kristoff,  who was the son of the earl at the time, he was a fair and well tempered man but he became very ill and perished in Throson's 3rd winter."  Helga's eyes were distant as she reminisced.
"At the time of my dear husbands passing I spoke to his most trusted soldier, the current earl, to stand in until your father became of a proper age to rule our homeland"

I could feel the story progression, and I wasn't too far wrong. Helga detailed the betrayal. As Sven's father Rollo took the thrown over the town large changes were made here, Helga and her young son , my father were slowly pushed farther from refined society.