I don't want to be here anymore - HQxreader os

goshiki tsutomu

the way his eyes glisten says it all; he's about to burst into tears. trying to conceal your tough exterior you hold back your own, not wanting to seem like a waterfall in front of him. 

"why don't you love me anymore?" goshiki questions and fiddles with his fingers anxiously. 

he's used to having you in his arms when he's stressed or your hands in his's as he trembles. now though, after you've told him you have to break up, he feels like he's not allowed to touch you. the dorm which is still filled with his scent even though it isn't his own feels colder and almost hurtful in some way. 

the many photos on the walls of the two of you from all of your dates suddenly feel monochromatic. 

"did i do something... wrong?" he asks and slowly sits down on the bed. you follow with him but this time leave a space between you and him, not wanting to get him onto the wrong thoughts. 

"tsutomu, of course you didn't." you mumble and raise your hand towards his face. 

his tense body relaxes slightly at the touch of your fingertips stroking his smooth skin. 

"then why don't you love me anymore?... a-am i not good enough?" 

he hiccups and throws you into his embrace. 

"please don't leave me y/n." 

you gently stroke his hair, slowly leaning into his warm touch. 

"but i have to, tsutomu. just let me go, you'll be... okay. I'll be with you, all right?" 

"no, no no no... wait, y/n-" 

you release from the hug and cup his cheek, before slowly giving him a gentle kiss. the tears that you've tried to restrain begin to fall, making your cheeks glisten. 

"tsutomu, please let me go." 

"wait- i can still save you!" he screams and tries to pull you back by his hand. 

but as his hand goes straight through your body, he sees how frail you look. he sees how you slowly begin to look like a shadow or even a ghost. 

"wh-why can't i touch you?!" he shouts a bit too aggressively. 

the way his lips begin to crack because of their dryness, the way his hair flows with each time he tries to cling onto you. 

"Y/N!" he screams out your name and ruffles his hair as your figure is now long gone. "COME BACK!!" he shouts even louder and muffles his face into your blanket. "PLEASE! Y/N! P-PLEASE!"

he slams his fist onto the floor as his voice breaks. his throat feels stuffed and he can barely manage to breathe between his frail attempts of repeating your name. 

"... i can still save you, can't i?"