Stumble - (Stardew Valley)

5 - Spiral

[warning: the first part of this chapter will be going into explicit detail about eating disorders. feel free to skip until there's another section in brackets. thank you for reading <3]

     I could have sworn that I heard Roger barking earlier that morning but after drifting in and out of sleep for a few hours, I couldn't tell. I squinted at the alarm clock resting on my nightstand, my vision blurry. 7:30? I overslept! I shot into a sitting position, swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and planted my feet on the ground. I had to get farming and fast.

     It was close to the end of Spring, so I didn't have an overwhelming amount of chores on the farm to do. Regardless, sleeping in until 7:30 was absurd to me. In just a bralette and sweatpants, I started making my way out of my newly extended bedroom. However, a reflection in my mirror caught my eye.

     Who's that? Why is she so fat?

     I apprehensively stepped closer to the mirror, studying the picture in front of me. The short girl looked similar to me with the long blonde curls and splash of freckles, yet I didn't recognize her. I pinched my stomach, the girl mimicked me. You idiot, that's you. That disgusting thing is you.

I held my breath for a few moments, my chest tightening. I just stared at myself in the mirror for what felt like ages, critiquing every little inch of myself. I felt a burning sob rise in the back of my throat. Bawling, I collapsed to the floor.

I hadn't felt this way about myself since I was in high school, when my entire life was consumed by an eating disorder. Everything was dictated by my disorder, even if it wasn't related to food at all. It ruined high school, the first two and a half years wasted counting calories and throwing up. I landed myself in a hospital for an entire marking period in my junior year of high school. Ever since then, I had been on the road to recovery, but I had fallen back into my old habits because of the stress from my job at Joja.

Of course, I had convinced myself that I was fine, that this was a small relapse and that nothing severe would happen. Besides, it wouldn't hurt if I just lost a little weight, right? I pulled myself off of the floor and trudged over to the oak dresser in the corner of my room.

[explicit ED part over. NEDA hotline if you need it: 1-800-931-2237]

After getting dressed, I grabbed my watering can and headed out the door. I needed to get to work on my crops, especially because I was an hour and a half late, but something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. The red flag on my mailbox was up, someone had sent me something. I stepped off of my porch and over to the shabby mailbox. A slightly crumbed piece of paper sat inside. I pulled the paper out and read it.

hey, sorry about yesterday, that was kinda awkward. i hope you don't think i'm weird. anyway, i found this recipe in a magazine and i thought it sounded interesting. feel free to give me a taste if you make it. hehe.
-shane

On the back of the letter was a recipe cut out from a magazine for something called "pepper poppers." I put it into my backpack idly. I knew very well that I'd never prepare the recipe for myself, but it might be good to keep in case I want to make Shane something. I wasn't sure when I'd have the opportunity, but eventually I might be able to prepare something. The thought of that made a smile form on my face, but I quickly shook it off. I still had a lot of work to do on the farm. I shut the mailbox's door and headed off to start watering my crops.

~ ~ ~

"Polly! Sorry to spring up on you like this, but I'd like to show you something," I jumped when I heard the voice behind me.