Hanging by a Moment [Completed]

From Where You Are

From Where You Are

Give him some space.

Some would consider it pitiful that I needed to repeat the thought to myself every so often – heck, even I would - except that it helped. In fact, keeping it in mind was the only thing that helped me say ‘no, it’s good, you go on ahead’ when he asked if he should wait for me after school, ‘we’ll discuss this tomorrow’ instead of ‘I’ll call you later’ and ‘nah, it’s fine, I’ll try do this on my own’ when the situations called for them.

It wasn’t entirely because of what Sarah said that I could maintain a little distance, however. The first time I’d declined an opportunity to spend a little more time with him, he’d frowned, like he hadn’t expected it, and that expression was another something that served as a huge motivational factor in biting my tongue and saying the opposite of what I wanted to.

I was far too dependent on him.

He’d been surprised that I’d said ‘no’ to something as simple as waiting around after school, which obviously meant that he thought of me as the guy who...I tried not to think about the word because I didn’t like how it sounded and its implications, but it was the truth – clingy.

I was that clingy friend who needed to have him around all the time.

That is so unattractive.

So yes, there was a little more of a selfish interest in keeping a bit of a distance. I muddled up his brain by being around all the time, and while that was something I didn’t want to do, I was thinking more about me than him at this point. The whole ‘not feeling so miserably rejected’ thing stood, but the fact that it might make me appear a little less unattractive was another factor I kept in mind.

Not that, of course, that made any of it easier on me.

I still spent time with him, yes, but it wasn’t as much as what I was used to, and while it was all well to think about how it was for the best, I found that distractions were far more helpful.

Therefore.

“Jayden, hi!”

Speaking of people being surprised at my actions, Kristina was another one of them. We’d become better friends as the days passed, with me far more comfortable as being her ‘boyfriend’ than I had been, but it still seemed to surprise her whenever I called her or initiated conversation.

“Hey, K, how’s it going?”

“I really don’t understand why you just can’t say Kristina.”

“I’m too lazy to say…Ristina, alright?”

She smiled. “Right. But anyway, what did you want?”

“You know I’m allowed to call just for the sake of it, right?” I would have tried to sound offended, but she was right about me calling for a reason, and anyway, I considered the two of us to be good-enough friends for that to be acceptable.

“Yeah, but…”

“But you were right, I did want something.”

I could almost picture her raise an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Do you want to go out again sometime?”

She didn’t respond.

After another moment, I had to ask. “K?”

“Oh, wow, alright. I didn’t think that that’s why you’d be calling, but alright, sure thing. When do you want to go?”

“Tomorrow?”