Hanging by a Moment [Completed]

I Know You Know

I Know You Know

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to cover it.

What had he been thinking? ‘At least you had Tina in school.’ Who even acted like that? When had he become such a baby? So Jayden had been in school, and he’d had Tina as company – big deal. It wasn’t like one day would make that much of a difference…but it could.

He wasn’t entirely sure of what he believed – that was part of the problem. On one hand – one day? There is no way that is going to affect what’s been around for fifteen years, but on the other – one day? If a few hours with her could make him forget about me, even if it was just temporarily…

Of course it had hurt. There had been no question of showing it, and no need to make Jayden feel even guiltier, if it were even possible, but yes, to think that he could be so easily forgotten about hurt. Jayden was only human though, and the thought had been a salve, but the…the thing he had with her had only started to escalate after that. 

He hadn’t been forgotten again, nor did he resent or blame his best friend – he’d been the one to talk him into it, after all – so if keeping up appearances took time, there was only himself to blame – but that wasn’t the point.

I miss Jayden.

So as for the question of what he had been thinking, the answer wasn’t as unreachable as it initially seemed – I’m jealous. You spend so much time with Tina now, I miss you, and I’m jealous.

Although the thought had been his own, Peyton couldn’t help but snort. That doesn’t help. It doesn’t excuse how I acted, and it’s definitely not going to help fix this.

Jayden’s departure had seen his friend stubbornly fume in bed for the next half-hour or so, then, as the flames started to die out, debate on whether or not he ought to call had begun.

What will I say?

He’d set it down then, and tried to think.

“I’m sorry about what I said, Jayden,” he said into the air, the best picture he could imagine of his friend in mind, voice but a weak whisper.

No, I’m not.

There was no conflict here, at least, and he was almost grateful for the fact, except – am I sorry that you found out?

He wasn’t sure.

No, he didn’t appreciate how well the two of them got along – Jayden and Tina, that was, and that Sarah thought that if they were a real item they’d be the hottest couple in school, but it didn’t give him any feel-good sentiment to think about how this would have affected Jayden, either.

He’s feeling guilty. And there’s no ‘probably’ there.

Peyton groaned.

It was bad enough that Jayden was already insecure over where they stood in light of…the events – they weren’t even ‘recent events’ anymore, and – I’m such a horrible friend.

How long have I kept Jayden hanging on this?

It was probably why he liked Tina so much.

I really am my worst own enemy.

Thoughts like that weren’t conducive to trying to come up with a way to fix issues, but he couldn’t help it. This was possibly why they got along so well – Jayden was friendly, but he didn’t make close friends immediately – but then, he really could use the distraction. All because of him.