How To drown On Land

8

//Hey lovees so this chapter contains talk of self-harm if you read my description you know that this book contains parts that are a part of MY actual story. Therefore this may not suit some readers.

I was sitting in the bathtub looking at the pink water around me. I did it. I shouldn't have I know better. I'm supposed to be better. I look down at the deep cuts on my thighs. Damn it! I did it. And damn it felt good. Mom went to bed awhile ago, and I knew the twins were fast asleep. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have I SHOULDN'T HAVE!!! What is wrong with me!! I'm supposed to be better. AHHH!!. I hit the water in the tub making it splash onto the floor. Crap! that was loud. I get out and dry off. And put a towel on the floor to dry off the mess I made as I'm drying off accidentally rub the towel against my thigh. I suck in a breath. Damn that stung I'm such an idiot I pull out my care box and start cleaning and covering them all.

The next morning I got to school early. I had decided to walk, I couldn't face my mom this morning. I texted her that I had to get help, studying for an upcoming test. I know I shouldn't lie to her but I couldn't face the disappointed look she'd have if I did. Clara texted asking me if I wanted to hang out tonight. And of course, Preston started texting me as soon as I woke up. I should talk to him and tell him it was just an anxiety attack. But how could I? I went to class. and took my seat. I pulled my hood over my head and began to read I heard a chair move next to me, it was Michelle.

She poked me. "Do you have a pencil I could borrow?". I pulled out a pen and handed it to her. and went back to my book. I was quiet all of the class. And walking into History Ethan smiles I try to smile back but, I don't know how convincing it is. He frowns "Hey you ok?" he says softly. I shrug and then shake my head no then yes. My brain telling me I need to convince him. He shakes his head and then starts writing down something. I lower my head mentally scolding myself. when something hits my head and falls onto my desk. I look and see a piece of folded paper. "text me" was all it said.

Ethan: What happened?? (OuO)

Ryley: Rough night (#n#)

Ethan: Ooof are you ok?? Do you need anything?? Green Skittles?? Anime??? (?o?)

Ryley: Green skittles and Anime definitely sound good right now (>u<)

Ethan : Lunch we will do the things. (o.o) (*u*)

Ethan was the only person I could even imagine talking about last night too. He understood everything. Like Clara, he had been through some shit. His parents treated him like their own personal slave. I had seen it myself when we hung out one time. then guilt hits and they buy him stuff. The worst being they told him they didn't want him. It drove me insane. His older siblings treated him bad too. I knew him and he knew me. And we had once promised each other to always be there for each other. But after I had left it seemed as though he had forgotten that. But I hadn't. I don't forget anything people say to me.

After class, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the courtyard. He threw a giant bag of Skittles at me. I caught it laughing as he pulled out his laptop. "What to watch? What to watch?...... Oh, I know! We could watch Maid Sama" he said laughing and pulling up Netflix. We ate skittles instead of food and laughed all of lunch. As we were getting ready to go back inside he grabbed my hand. I turned around "Ryley? So what happened? Did someone say something is everything ok at home? " I looked at him and looked down, I should tell him. "No, I just didn't sleep well, that's all, but I'm better now," I said smiling. He looks at me hesitantly before dropping my hand and walking back towards the school I nudged his shoulder, so he would look at me. He turned and blushed as I leaned and hugged him. I pulled away and walked to my class.

Later I decided to go to the library. I looked around to make sure Thomas or Michelle weren't there. They weren't so I went to check out a few books. reading was one of my favorite copings. Getting lost in a world and pretending you were one of the characters, that's my favorite part. I grabbed ten and started to walk towards the desk. The librarian looked up at me. I missed her, Mrs. Bonan was a sweetheart of a lady and loved me before I left. She smiles, "Ryley is that you? It's been so long! We missed you!" I smiled and put my books down " Yeah it has been. I missed you too." she started scanning the books. "I forgot how much you read! Oh my, these for the weekend?" I nod still smiling she pulls out a bag for me. "Here this should help you carry them, not enough kids read anymore we need more kids like you." I smile "Yeah the world would be nice and quiet," I say laughing. "Imagine that," she says shaking her head.

I decided to walk home but it started to rain so I took off my coat and put it over my books. I was walking slowly as I heard a car pull up. I tried walking faster as I heard the car door open. I squeaked And pulled out my phone trying to balance the bag, my backpack, and phone. I went to press call on Clara's name when I heard "Ryley you're gonna get sick." I turned and saw Preston standing in the rain pointing towards his car. "Let me give you a ride." I was about to say no when I thought of my books. "ok".

//Hello lovees i hope yall are amazing. Wdu guys think about this chapter interesting fact I read a lot XD my school librarian loved me and laughed because i'd go with friends and get like 6 chapter books and 4 manga books and i always finished before the weekend ended. Anyways I love how this is turning out make sure to check out my other books too XD love Asher //