An Earnest Favour

XXII

"He will be sorry for the way he treated you. Don't you worry about that. Focus on your growth and watch his eyes gaze in sorrow as he knows, he was the bastard that made you strong." Nikki Rowe

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XXII.

The waltz. The dance Jack had specifically requested. Claire panicked as she looked over at Jack, finding him still on the dance floor with Susanna. Had he seen? Claire quickly supposed that Jack would have flattened Arthur with his fists and caused a scene had he been aware of Arthur approaching her.

Should she tell Jack? Claire stressed in anguish. He was bound to find out when Arthur claimed her. His name was on her dance card. She could hardly refuse. To do so would be the height of rudeness. To forget or forgo a partner was simply not done and was indeed a great slight.

But the real question was would Jack believe that Claire had not invited his attentions? She had hardly realised what was happening before Arthur had finished scribbling his name. Indeed, his penmanship was very ill, and spoke of someone in a rush.

Claire quickly retreated towards her mother, not wanting to draw any further attention towards herself. Mrs Denham was sitting alone, as both Jem and Peter had already selected partners. She was watching the festivities with a smile.

Claire sat down beside Mrs Denham, and her mother turned to her. "I cannot believe how grown up you look in that gown, Claire. You are a vision, to be sure."

Claire managed a small smile for her mother. "Thank you, Mama. Jack was really too generous in London."

"A fine man, indeed," noted Mrs Denham. "Do you know, I do not believe his mother gives him enough credit, but that is between you and me," she added quietly.

Claire could have laughed. Her mother didn't know the half of it. "I have never known anyone more decent," she promised.

"Was that Arthur Slickson I saw you speaking to just then?" Mrs Denham asked casually, her voice seeming to rise half an octave in curiosity.

Claire feigned interest in the dancers. "Yes," she said casually, or as casually as she could muster. "He came to offer me congratulations on my nuptials." Another lie. Another sin. When would it end?

"Strange," Mrs Denham thought aloud. "I've never known Arthur Slickson to think of anyone beyond himself in all the years I have known him."

A chill ran down Claire's spine. It seemed a natural defence of hers to speak for Arthur, to tell her mother of a virtue that only she could see, as she had done before their clandestine courtship. But Claire managed to stop herself from telling another lie. She had not always believed they were lies. Claire had obviously been very talented at fooling even herself, along with her family. Arthur Slickson possessed no virtues.

And he certainly deserved no courtesies.

"I quite agree, Mama."

Claire saw Mrs Denham's eyes widen in utter shock. "My!" she remarked. "I know your little attachment ended some time ago, but I never thought I would live to see the day when Arthur Slickson was anything less than a king in your eyes, my dear!"

Claire felt an utter fool and was truly embarrassed by her own ignorance. How ashamed she felt to have sung that man's praises, to have believed his tales so easily. She felt every bit as stupid as the girls Susanna and Cecily had described in the carriage.

Claire could no longer live under his spell. She could no longer lend any piece of herself to the memory of what she thought she have experienced with Arthur. It certainly wasn't love.