tutor||ponyboy curtis ✓

30

Jacqueline

"You think we're ever gonna tell anybody?" Ponyboy asked me, we were sitting on my roof looking up at the stars. My brother and sister were both out with friends and my parents were out on date night, they wouldn't be home for hours.

"'Bout what?" I asked, playing dumb. I knew what he was talking about, I guess I just chose to ignore it.

"About us Jackie, I mean...are we ever going to tell people about us?" he asked me, I glanced at him slightly. He was looking at me deeply. I sighed,

"Well I haven't told any of my friends and I think they'd be more accepting than yours." I said and he nodded. 

"I told Dallas," he told me. I truly looked at him then, he wasn't looking at me. Instead he seemed to be looking at anything but me. I arched an eyebrow.

"Winston?" he nodded.

"Yeah," he responded. I bit my bottom lip as I looked back towards the sky. 

"Did he really date Heidi?" I asked, it might not have been the appropriate response to his statement, but I've always been curious. I don't think he's especially handsome and Heidi's very pretty, so I've wondered if the rumors were the truth. He furrowed his eyebrows, but then nodded with an 'oh yeah' look on his face.

"Yeah he did, he said he might go back to her. But that was a couple months ago." Ponyboy chuckled. I smiled, laughing too. From what I knew about Heidi, she'd go back to him too. She'd always loved a bit of drama and trouble. And Dallas Winston's Tulsa's king of trouble.

A comfortable silence came over the two of us, I don't know what he was doing with the silence, but I was thinking. In all reality it was such a downright risk for us to be together in the first place, but I guess that didn't stop us. Sometimes I wonder what brought us together in the first place. What connection we truly had. We have some similarities, both our groups are more or less outcasts. I mean, his is on a higher level than mine, but the socs wouldn't mind if both of us went and died in ditch.

"I don't think we should tell anybody about us, ever. Or, well, not ever, just not anytime soon." I said finally. He nodded, coming closer to me on the roof.

"Yeah," he mumbled. I shifted from sitting on my roof to laying down on it, looking upwards. Ponyboy followed my move and did the same. I looked up at the stars, they were so pretty. To me they'd always looked like diamonds on a blanket of black. Sometimes Ponyboy talks about the beauty of delicate things. I guess it comes with his knack for observation. He's always noticing things is what I mean. The night we went and saw the lantern release and he explained the dynamic between the greasers and socs to me I wondered how he could notice so many little things. Like he was telling me about how everyone assumes that Tim Shepard's little sister Angela is just like another greaser girl Sylvia 'cause they favor in looks. But in all reality their looks are the only similar thing about them and Angela is actually real kind while Sylvia has a heart of ice. It made me question how he could care enough to notice that they had their differences instead of just brushing them off like everyone else did. Looking back on it now, I think it's charming that he observes small things.

"Do you think there's a better place than here?" Ponyboy asked out of nowhere. I turned to look him in the eye. 

"Well, what do you mean?" I bet tons of places are better than here. He shrugged,

"Johnny and I, we talk about and wonder if there's a place better than here. We were always talkin' about somewhere without greasers or socs or any divide between people. But do you think there's a place without racists?" 

"I mean, I have an aunt in New York. She calls my mom every once in a while and the way she describes it makes it sound a bit better than here. And we go to my cousins in Michigan about once a year and it ain't paradise, but it's better. I don't think there's anywhere on Earth that doesn't have any prejudice or racism at the moment. But sometimes I think about the future and I bet it's better there. I mean, I think maybe somebody'll do something like what Martin Luther King did in Washington, remember that?" I asked, Ponyboy nodded.

"Yeah I do," I nodded.

"I think one day it'll get through to the racists and the socs, probably not just one event or somethin'. But I think that good will prevail. Maybe I'm naive, but how else are we supposed to get through life? If you don't have a good mindset and optimism hatred will overcome you, ya know?" I felt like I was rambling, but when I looked over to Ponyboy he looked like he heard every word. He nodded,

"You don't sound naive, you sound smart doll." he told me, I smiled softly at him. 

"You really know how to flatter somebody." I giggled and he laughed a bit too.

"I ain't lyin', you don't understand how amazing you are. I don't know how you can stand to be so perfect," he said, chuckling on the last part. I grinned at him and he smiled back.

I truly do believe one day we'll allowed to be together. We won't have to leave our conversations in school to be at the very back of the library. We'll be able to go on dates when the suns up. We won't have to worry about being seen in public together. 

Dear Lord I can't wait for that day to come.

THE END

authors note:
wow it's really over. i just want to apologize if this book sucks, but i really did enjoy writing it. i can't believe it's at 9k reads! that's way more traction than i ever thought my sucky writing would get lol. i appreciate y'all so much, reading the comments on this book makes me laugh and it's way more fun than doing homework or something. sorry if i'm rambling, but i just wanna thank y'all for reading this :) btw my susan with sodapop book is almost ready to publish! i just need to make a cover and it should be published, so if you're a sodapop girl you should be able to find it on my page soon. sorry for repeating this so much, but thankyou for reading this y'all are the literal best <3