Chocolate and Caramel

🖤Chapter 4 - Her Lover's Lips🖤

This beggining of chapter is filled with angst, But it gets un-angsty I promise.

Uraraka lay wide awake in her bed, deep in thought. Is it really love? Or did i kiss her out of adrenaline & impulse? She thought, for the thousanth time. Things like this had been badgering uraraka all night, disturbing thoughts meant to end her love, or, her life. She lay in a cold sweat, squirming as her brain nurtured horrid ideas just like the one she had had just before. She could just be gathering intel for the LOV. She could just be being nice to you. She could hate you. She could do anything, she was perfect. She meant the world to me, but i'm just another girl to her. Not unique. I don't look good. She started crying queitly. I don't act good, I dont even feel good. She had me thinking I couldn't die, now I think I might do it tonight.

They came in salvos, some bigger than the last. Each trying to cut deeper into her bleeding heart, to pry some emotion that hadn't seeped out of her yet. Some emotion that was still alive, still fresh, not gutted and dying on the floor of her mind. She wished toga was with her, so she could drown in her wonderful touch. Even if it wasn't love, it was contact with her, and that was all she needed tonight.

She sat up in her sleep, cold sweat and optimism dripping off of her. They are going to find my body. They'll think toga did it. It doesen't matter anymore, she pushed those thoughts away, and niether do you. Your worthless without her. She started sobbing, falling over and holding onto a railing for support. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. She tortured these things into her mind, until she had seared them in, as if with a hot knife against her skull. She would appreciate a knife to the skull right now. She would like for it to end. For everything to end. She stopped. I can't run away from my broken heart anymore. Damn it. Kill yourself. You know where, you know how to, you know why. Stab yourself in the heart. You can't break whats already broken. She stumbled into the kitchen, a hand unconciously reaching for a knife. She brought the object close to her chest, feeling what it was capable of. She pressed in into the soft flesh at the top, not letting it sink in to finish her just yet. She wanted it to last. A steady, warm trickle of blood dripped dowm the handle of the knife from her chest, getting her hands wet with her own blood. I lose my last fragment of hope tonight.

As she stood, losing blood, gaining ever the more suicidal thoughts. More things to terrorizs her, more things to make her blood run cold, to get her to make other's blood run the same way. She hadn't noticed the tip of the blade inching its way into her chest. Inching its way into her fragile mind. Something made her stop, a hand curling over the handle of the small knife. She felt the hamd drawing her own away, and it rose up to her face to stroke her chin, as if beckoning a small child. In the little light there was, she could see legitimate pain in Himiko's features. "Y-your trying to l-leave m-me?" She whispered, tears coming in droves. "Was i-i n-not good e-enough for you?" She leaned closer. "Did I not taste good enough?" She said, a hint of jealous anger in her voice. "I thought you loved me Ochaco, my love. You kissed me." She moved a hand to her lips, feeling the soft skin there. "You kissed me." She said again, this time very quietly. "But i guess I don't deserve you tonight." 

She let go of the knife and let it fall to the floor. Then she turned back and ran to my dorm, crying the whole way there, and crying for hours to come as she lie in my bed. I crumpled to the floor there, the weight of this situation too much for me too bear. Everything was too much. If she could kiss her Darling Himiko again, maybe she could have her back. She stood up, amd mustered enough energy to crawl back to her dorm, opening the door and finding a small note on her bed. It read: Hello, my love. I don't deserve you. I stole the tatse of you, just like I stole your heart. I love you dearly, more than anything in the world, and I hope that you will be mine again. Deku is gone, don't try going to him. He is hanging in his bedroom, soaked in his own bloody sorrow. I love you Ochaco, and I feel like I could die, if I don't get you tonight.

No.. No No No No! Himiko where are you? Where did you go? I love you himiko, you deserve me more than I damn deserve to live, hell, you deserve me more than anyone. I meant that kiss, that was giving my heart to you. Only you. She folded the note and held it against her chest, a volley of fiendish thoughts assaulting her mind. Ts: Himiko is back "I'm so sorry darling." Himiko said, laying next to ochaco on her bed. She pulled her love close, so Ochaco's back met her chest next to her. Her mouth was barely touching Ochaco's ear. "I shouldn't have said the things I did." Ochaco could feel warm tears hitting the back of her neck. Then she felt Himiko's arm, running under her shirt, and wrapping around her chest. She felt hot, and her face flushed. "H-himiko- i" "shhhhhhhh..." Himiko cut her off. Then she felt her fingers moving up and down her body, tracing a pattern on her skin. Himiko's smooth fingers calmed her down, soothing her to the point of drowziness. "I meant every damn second of that kiss Ochaco." She whispered, directly into her ear, and then she was kissing her neck. Over and over, making Ochaco lean into Himiko, never wanting the sensation to end. "I love you." She said quietly. "I will be yours forever." Himiko intensified the neck-kissing, with each touch of her lips putting a piece of Ochaco's heart back together, rebuilding it. She fell asleep to the feeling of Himiko stroking her and kissing her neck. She thought lost everything, only to have it rebuilt with her lover's lips.

Hai guys! This chapter wasn't great, but I wanted to show that this love isnt all rainbows and unicorns, I needed a reality check, and so did Himiko and Ochaco. I'm sorry if this was kinda depressing, but it got better at the end right? I promised my crush i'd write three chapters tonight, so you guys are in luck! Hope you still enjoyed this chapter, even if it kinda sucked, see you next chapter!

~ 🖤💕Raden-Chan💕🖤