The Trouble Toddler

Chapter 7: Ashley

As Nancy and I walked together back to our dorm I again complained about the removing of my tattoo. "I tell you they don't have the right to take away my tattoo. I swear I'll get one, just the same as this one, when I'm sixteen again."

"Lexi, I understand it will hurt, but maybe it's for the better. You once told me you didn't like your tattoo and with this it will be removed for free!" Nancy said to cheer me up. Only she did not because I told her I did not like my tattoo, but it meant a lot to me.

"I don't care, it's just not their decision to make. It's my body!" I exclaimed.

Nancy sighed, which was followed by, "I get you oke, but you can't stop it and resisting will not help you because at the end of the day that tattoo will be removed." It was now I who sighed, "Yeah I know." I said knowing that no matter what, my tattoo will be removed as doctor Mark explained to me.

Wanting to forget about my problems I focused on Alice who we saw chilling on her bed. "Hey elephant girl, you oke? How did your talk go with mister 'I will decide everything about you'?" She looked confused, so I explained, "You know, your guardian."

"Oh, yeah, uhmm, oke I guess." she answered.

"Are you sure? It looks like something is troubling your mind since, well since your got here, but especially after that test." Nancy said in her full-on mother mode now. "Do you miss your home, it's that what's troubling you?" She asked.

Alice looked indeed troubled, but I did not get it. We all have difficult pasts, and we all try to get through this, only she remains so down. And the fact she wants to go home I especially do not get because there must have been something terrible happened for her to end up here. So why would she want to go back?

"I don't understand you. Why do you miss that place so much? You are here with good reason just like everybody else, grow up, will you?!" I almost yelled at her. I did not mean to say it like that. Its just bad things happen in your life and you need to try and move on from those things. Otherwise, you would be stuck in the past forever. Nobody wants that.

"Lexi!" Nancy exclaimed.

"What?! I am not stating anything wrong, am I?! She is here because those people from the programme thought it was better to put her here. You know that! They will always evaluate if your home is still suitable for you. My home did not know how to give me space and yours was too dependent on you. End of story!"

Nancy looked angry at me and wanted to fire back, but it was then Alice who spoke up. She told us about her case. Her parents did not want her anymore for not getting the grades they wanted. Even her guardian tried to convince her parents otherwise, but still gave her up. I felt so bad for how I yelled at her.

Nancy walked up to her and hugged her. "I'm so sorry Alice," she whispered. I walked to them as well and hugged them, "Yeah me too."

The next day I was picked up for my first treatment to remove my tattoo. It was not a nurse who I expected to pick me up, but Dennis. As we walked towards the hospital part of the building, I asked, "Why did you pick me up?"

Dennis turned his face to me, "I know that tattoo means a lot to you, so I wanted to be there if you needed any comfort." His warm blue eyes looking down on me. Why was my dad not like him? Dennis looked like the understanding type and my dad... my dad was everything but understanding towards others. My mom had scolded him multiple times to be more sensitive towards us, but he always failed.

We walked in the room where they would give me the treatment. One doctor and one nurse were present. They asked me to lay down and the medical chair and show me where my tattoo was. After the doctor was done with inspecting my arm he said, "The skin on the inner upper arm is sensitive so this treatment will hurt. Ever time the pain will be to much, just let us know and we will take a break." I nodded my head as the two of them made everything ready. I saw Dennis sitting down in of the chairs in the room. He gave a short nod as a 'good luck'.

They positioned my arm and started the laser. It hurt, physically and mentally. I tried to keep my tears at bay because every time a part of the tattoo was being removed, a part of my memory getting it removed as well.

I did not want to forget Ashley. I had met her in my first year in middle school. I had already known Nancy back then, but Nancy and I did not go to the same school. So, Ashley became my best schoolfriend. We worked almost every time together at school projects and we always sat next to each other.

Everything was fine, we had fun, we experimented. We were discovering the world, until Ashley became sick. Nobody knew what it was, but by the time we knew it was too late. A brain tumour. The doctors could not remove it, so they said she had a year to live, if lucky two. Nine months after the diagnose she died.

When Ashley knew about her tumour, she and I went crazy. That was also a part of why I rebelled against my parents. Ashley wanted to know how alcohol tasted, how feeling high felt like, how to drive, how it was to be arrested.

Ashley and I started to involve with people who did those things too, so when she was dead, I still hung out with the 'wrong crowd'. I needed to stay with them. Being with them felt like Ashely was still here.

When the doctor said he was done, I sat back up. I felt how two tears made their way down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and walked out. Dennis was quick to follow me and he had put a hand on my back as a gesture to comfort me. I liked that better than to talk about how I felt. 

Thanks for reading and stay safe!