derek morgan: bad days.

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derek morgan sat in his chair at the bau a little more uncomfortable than most days.
after having a fight with his girlfriend last night,
he didn't quite expect to wake up to an empty house.
and before he had time to truly process,
he was called into work.
so here he remained,
clicking his pen incessantly while his mind wandered.
"god, morgan, what is going on with you?"
emily prentiss asked with a heavy sigh full of irritation.
"what?"
"you've been clicking your pen nonstop since you got here."
"oh..."
he set the pen down and shrugged,
"sorry. didn't realize."
she turned back in her seat with a warned look to spencer,
but derek only kept his eyes on the blank computer screen in front of him.

"i don't see the problem."
"of course you don't! because god forbid mr derek morgan is wrong!"
"woah, woah. i don't have an issue with admitting i'm wrong."
y/n crossed her arms while standing in front of him,
"really?"
"what was i supposed to do, y/n? i was at work! we can make dinner plans another time."
"okay, derek...you're right."

he sat back in his seat and let that one moment from their argument replay in his mind just one more time.
he couldn't quite figure out why her anger then melted into hurt once he mentioned their canceled dinner plans.
he hurried to look at the date and felt the guilt solidify within him once he realized.
"it was her birthday..."
but before he could hurry to make amends,
he was called in for a case that required traveling.
derek barely said a word the whole time.
between feeling an immense amount of guilt for both forgetting and undermining his girlfriends feelings,
and realizing y/n was close to leaving for good,
his mind was preoccupied and left him with little
to say.
calling y/n on the jet to try and apologize would mean so little to her,
considering she was one for face to face and meaningful conversations.
the jet also left him with little privacy,
but he knew if he didn't act quick,
y/n would slip right between his fingers.
"i'll be home in a couple days. wait for me."
he sent the text to her,
only to receive no reply.
but in knowing she had read it gave derek some sense of peace.
the plane landed and the team was soon shuffling into the cities police department.
derek sat against the edge of the table and looked at the crime scene photos placed against the board.
"three girls, all blonde, all blue eyed, all their names starting with the letter T. it's obviously a surrogate for someone in this unsub's life."
derek got up and looked back to his team,
but found himself distracted by a lonely figure waiting on the bench of the police department.
"who is that out there?"
"our latest victims boyfriend, grayson. hasn't left that spot since about eight am."
"he's been waiting for six hours?"
the deputy shrugged,
"suppose he thinks we'll be bringing her in any minute now."
derek walked out of the conference room and towards grayson,
where he took a seat across from him.
"i'm agent derek morgan."
he stuck his hand out for an introduction handshake.
"grayson desmond. i was tara's boyfriend."
"was? did you two recently break up?"
grayson shook his head as though to fight the tears,
"no, not at all. we were supposed to be getting married soon."
derek pointed his attention to the ring laying still to grayson's third finger.
"but...she's not making it out alive, is she?"
"hey, don't talk like that. my team is made up of the best there is. we are going to bring tara back to you, okay?"
"yeah...you have a girlfriend, agent?"
derek shrugged,
"yeah..yeah, i do."
"as cliche as it may sound, cherish every waking moment you have with her. every fight, every date, every anniversary. because...it's gone before you can even blink."
"we'll find her, grayson."
derek was overcome with feelings of shame as he left the conversation.
he had done just the exact opposite,
and now y/n was on the verge of disappearing.
the girl had been everything derek needed in this life.
they were, what seemed to be, the perfect match for one another.
when he was down,
she was there to lift him back up.
and when she was feeling lost herself,
derek helped to guide her way back.
he had grown so comfortable in this relationship,
he had forgotten that reassurance was the key in keeping them afloat.
and the danger of their relationship sinking was staring derek directly in his face.
***
derek arrived home about three days later,
and entered the place that lingered in his recent loneliness.
he felt as though he should feel triumphant for bringing tara home to grayson,
but he couldn't fight this ache he felt in losing y/n.
he set his luggage in the corner and collapsed against the bed.
her scent still remained embedded in his sheets,
and it deepened the pain in his chest.
after another moment or so of wallowing in his self pity,
he decided he wasn't going to let y/n slip away so quickly.
he was going to fight,
even if it took everything out of him.
so after his many runs to the stores,
he came back home and began decorating.
streamers were hung,
signs were displayed,
her cake was put in the center of the table,
and many, many flowers were bought along with a gift or two.
once he was finished,
he dialed her number and listened to it ring.
and just as he was about to hang up,
her honeyed voice oozed from the other end,
"hey..."
though nothing had been set in stone,
hearing her voice again was nothing short of euphoric.
"hey, y/n, it's derek."
"i know who it is. are you okay?"
"yeah, i'm fine. i just need to talk to you. can you come over?"
the silence fell between them,
until she finally sighed,
"yeah. i'll be there soon."

y/n soon opened the front door,
expecting to indulge in a lengthy, hurtful argument with derek morgan.
but she was met with the colorful decorations,
the rose pedals against the floor,
and a birthday cake with lit candles.
she couldn't fight the smile or the gasp that left past her lips,
"derek morgan!"
"happy very late birthday."
he brought her in for a hug and found peace in the way her arms wrapped around him.
though it was so familiar to him,
he never got tired of holding her.
"so you finally remembered, hm?"
she pulled back and examined the newly decorated place.
"i'm sorry, y/n. i really am. i could come up with a hundred explanations, but none of them will excuse what i did."
"i know you're busy with work, and that occupies a lot of your time and mind, but would it have killed you to-to set a reminder or something?"
"no, not at all. and i'm an idiot for forgetting, and an idiot for belittling how you felt."
she laughed lightly,
and derek let it resonate within him.
he was beginning to cherish everything about y/n in a new light.
her melodic laugh,
her warm smile,
her curious eyes,
the fluidity of their conversations.
everything about y/n seemed to have been handmade from the gods themselves.
and he was nothing but blessed to be able to love someone so ethereal.
"you are a bit of an idiot, aren't you?"
she teased and draped her hands around his neck,
inching them closer to one another.
"mhm, the biggest idiot there was,"
he chuckled and let the space between them close,
where there lips finally met.
ecstasy washed through him,
and her intoxicating taste had become home to derek morgan.
he knew that through the worst of their bad days,
his heart would never stop beating for y/n,
and he'd never stop fighting for her.

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