criminal minds imagines.

lost love: aaron hotchner.

{request by: juptersmoons !!}
aaron paced the floor of his hotel room with a note clenched into his hands.
after all this time,
he thought,
she's returned.
y/n l/n hadn't exactly returned in the way he expected nor wanted;
seeing her picture pinned against a stack of murders made his stomach roll with nausea.
he looked at the note again and felt another stab of pain begin in his heart.
"oh, how lovely. the two were to be wedded! such a shame where the knife was embedded."
the note had been stuck under the point of the knife that had been used to kill the recent newlyweds.
aaron knew the handwriting was all too familiar.
how could he forget,
even after all these years?
the girl he'd been utterly in love with during high school.
the girl he was to marry:
y/n l/n.
"no....there's no way,"
aaron mumbled to himself,
sitting on the edge of the bed with his knuckles to his lips.
the longer he thought about it,
he realized the couples that'd been killed oddly resembled the looks of him and haley,
though he'd never admit it aloud.
it would make perfect sense.
after all,
y/n had nearly been left behind for him to go off and marry haley.
he hadn't thought of her in years,
but his heart still skipped several beats at the mentioning of her name.
aaron realized that he was in the town him and y/n once planned to live and grow in together.
aaron's past was beginning to catch up with him.
and the worst thing imaginable was happening;
aaron hotchner was falling back in love with a serial killer.
***
"do you know her?"
aaron looked up from the picture of y/n he was holding to see emily standing over him,
analyzing his behavior.
he faked his best smile then shook his head.
"no, i don't. have we figured out anything new?"
"yeah. reid found a lake house rented in her name."
aaron felt a wave of nostalgia fall over him at the mention of it.
how could he forget?

"i think it's a lovely idea,"
y/n giggled as she laid her head onto aaron's chest,
tracing circles against his collarbone.
aaron's hand fit in the small of her back where he used it to bring her closer,
placing a soft kiss to the top of her head.
"a lake house in a small town? i can't think of anything better, y/n."
"i agree. so long as we have each other."
aaron placed a gentle but passionate kiss to her lips to show his agreement in her statement.
when he pulled back,
the pad of his thumb traced her cheekbone when he whispered,
"i can't wait to marry you and start a life with you, love. it'll be the happiest day of my life."

"hotch?"
"sorry...what happened?"
"reid's going to the lake house to check it-"
"tell him to wait up,"
aaron said while rushing to his feet.
"i'm going too."
the car ride was silent.
aaron couldn't find it inside of himself to speak past the stun.
all of it was coming at him and coming at him fast.
how could he allow this to happen?
sure,
the breakup between the two hadn't exactly been ideal,
but had aaron hurt her so bad that she resorted to murder to escape it?
when they arrived at the lake house,
aaron was succumbed to a sense of grief.
he had not only abandoned y/n,
but also forced her to abandon the best part of herself;
her morality,
her beautiful mind,
her bright soul.
such a shame that heartbreak ripped that out from her,
aaron realized.
a heartbreak i caused.
he pulled a box from beneath the bed and sifted through it,
finding letters he'd written her in a high school daze;
when they were blinded by the honeymoon phase.
he found trinkets they'd shopped together for,
a necklace he'd gifted her,
and the box of a ring he had once given to her as a promise.
his heart was wringing in agony at the sight of it all.
how could it be that such timely objects reminded him of the purest love he'd ever experienced?
how could it be that this girl had become who she is today?
all of it was making aaron's head hurt.
when he opened the box,
expecting to find the promise ring inside of it,
he found nothing but emptiness.
it occurred to him for a split second that maybe y/n still wore it to this day.
even though it shouldn't have,
the idea of it sparked a sense of excitement inside of him.
aaron was stuck between these immense feelings of old love that he missed and this fear of y/n who had become a serial killer.
out of all his years at the b.a.u,
all the gruesome cases he worked,
for once,
aaron hotchner didn't think he could stomach this case any longer.
***
adrenaline was racing through his veins at the idea that his y/n,
his first love,
laid back at the lake house he'd ventured to the day before.
when he found her,
she was sitting on the hood of a car,
staring up at the stars above them.
"they're bright tonight. wonder what the gods above are celebrating."
hearing her voice was like a surge of reassurance.
despite how cold it sounded,
there was still a tinge of her old, honeyed voice beneath it.
the old y/n remained in there somewhere,
he was sure of it.
"y/n..."
she turned around to reveal her tear stained eyes,
pooling with a deepened despair.
"well...look who it is. aaron hotchner."
"y/n...why?"
"why?"
y/n repeated with a certain aggression.
she slid off of the hood of her car and sulked towards him,
the gun gleaming in her dominant hand.
aaron instinctively held his gun up to her,
but it only made her grin.
his stomach tightened at the sight of the promise ring lying still on her finger,
still as beautiful on her as it'd been from the beginning.
"let's see, aaron, why? you left me to focus on your career. and-and i was okay with that! but you promised you'd come back to me! you promised you'd find me, marry me, and we'd move out here! i waited for years, aaron! then...then i see you in the news with her! haley brooks, your wife."
her voice began to catch at the mention of her name.
"do you have any idea what that did to me, aaron? look at me! i'm covered in blood, dirty with sin, because of you! you did this to me!"
y/n was yelling now,
and aaron could hear the arriving sirens of his team.
"y/n...i'm sorry. there will never be enough time for me to show you how sorry i am. i thought you'd forgotten about me after college and haley, she-she was my best resort. please, don't make this situation any worse."
"i owe you nothing, aaron."
"put the gun down, y/n...put it down, serve your time, and i promise i'll be there every second of your sentencing. we can-we can be together again."
y/n let out a mocking laugh and used the tip of her gun to apply pressure to her forehead.
"i won't fall victim to your lies anymore, aaron. i've spent too much time in this-this desolation to delve any further..."
aaron could see her pushing to the brink of hysteria,
and the idea of it made his heart sink.
"i already lost haley, y/n....please, i don't want to lose you, too."
"haley...? she-"
"she died."
y/n's mouth fell agape at the knowledge of this and whispered,
"aaron...i'm so-i'm so sorry."
"...put the gun down and comply, y/n. i promise i won't leave you again."
y/n began to lower the gun to the ground when the sudden ring of a gunshot echoed.
aaron watched in horror as y/n fell to the ground,
blood pooling from her chest.
he rushed to coddle her to his chest,
and let out a quiet sob.
"i...i know now,"
y/n began in a strained whisper,
her skin beginning to grow pale by the second.
"what the gods are-are celebrating: my death."
"you're fine, y/n, stay with me. please."
y/n looked to him with the last bit of life in her eyes,
and aaron begin to see the fissures in her now hardened self.
in her last moments of death,
she was returning to the girl he'd once loved.
and with her last breath,
she exhaled the words,
"i love you, aaron."
aaron placed his forehead to hers and let out another sob.
"i..i love you, too."
her eyes closed and her body became lighter from the lack of life.
he held her body that was growing cold closer to him and begged for something, someone to bring her back.
it was all too familiar pain,
yet somehow entirely different.
it was as though a part of his soul was being ripped from inside out,
and his heart was beginning to shatter into even tinier fragments.
another love lost.