Sugar Rush

6

Warning: Extremely sad

As soon as it happened, my mind jumbled my dreams with reality, leaving me unable to distinguish between what was "real" and what occurred only in dreamland, but I knew everything that was happening was real.

Tears of pain running down my cheeks. A single drop of grief welled up from the corner of my eye. I bled the salt of my soul and as it poured from my eyes. Hot torrents of grief coursed down my face. All I focused on was the cursed spirit's arm reaching out towards me as a desperate attempt to reach me, only to be engulfed in flames seconds after, leaving only a small locket.

A scream from my mouth and lungs came out, and a scream of the eyes and soul was seen on Gojo's expression as he bent down to pick it up and open it.

His pale blue orbs widen when noticed what it was and soon he looked over to me.

My hand flew up to my mouth the ease the noise of my pain as my body fell to the ground looking at the remanent marks of where my mother last stood. My hands kissed the ground as I bowed my head over and began crying my heart out.

"Mom..."

Images of her accumulated bits and pieces at a time building a collage of memories we had shared and put ourselves into a certain relation to the world that feels like familial love.

The series of idyllic images that would have made for the perfect photo was too good to shatter with something as intrusive as a lens and now they only reside as frozen moments inside my mind. The locket furnished evidence of the good times my mother and I had, regardless of it being distorted in some instances...there was the presumption that something pure existed which is like what is in the picture of me smiling beside my mother as she smiled back, both of us looking at the camera.

"Saya...what was this cursed spirit to you?" Gojo asked nonchalantly.

He sounds so muffled over my crying but honestly, I couldn't care. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was just gone.

I paused trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside me but I couldn't. One part of me wanted to attack this man, this man who committed no greater crime than ending the existence of a being. But the righteous side of me was suppressing that insane, malicious, evil, vile, wicked part of me that wanted to attack him. All I could do was remain on my knees and hands, screaming sobs that only interrupted by my need to draw breath.

"M-mother..." I muttered as I reached my hand outwards towards the remanents of my mother. Emotional pain flowed out of my every pore. and soon my vision became blurred, my eyes rolled back not before hearing Gojo repeat my words back...I had passed out.

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My eyes burn and my throat feels like it's constricted as I rose to consciousness. Slowly, I opened my eyes and rubbed the remainders of sleep from my eyes. I looked around slowly, noticed I was in some type of room but looking off to the side, I notice Gojo Satoru.

One look at the man and all my memories came using in. I quickly began screaming uncontrollably and tried moving away from him, only to find myself strapped to the bed only causing me to panic even more.

"Excuse me! Someone help me!" I yelled out to the door, "Can someone help me untie this? I need to go!"

No movement or sound could be heard from outside the door.

"Can anyone hear me?!" I yelled out trying to fight out of restraints.

"S-Saya?" He asked in a low voice to himself as he awoke from his slumber and soon looking at my distressed state jumped up and came closer causing me to scream out even more and tears to stream down my face.

As soon as he lifted his hand off the bed and back away a bit, I began to calm down. I hadn't managed to get free from the constraints that held me down but being able to turn my back away from him and not look at his face was all the solace I needed at this moment.

"Why was that special grade cursed spirit near your home?" he questioned, "I was looking for that cursed spirit for almost two months prior to finding your shop and when I offer to walk you home it was right there waiting and calling at you. You even called it mother."

My composure broke once again. I cried with more violence than any gale. Knowing my mother was not here anymore and have her murderer who was only doing his job was torture to my soul.

"I told you I didn't need you walking me home!" I yelled crying out.

It was like every atom of my being screamed in unison, traumatized that I would exist without her. I grabbed onto a bed sheet so that my violent shaking would not cause me to fall and from my eyes came to a thicker flow of tears. The whole world had vanished for me, now there was only pain enough to break me, pain enough to change me beyond recognition.

"I should have known you were one of that Jujutsu Sorcerers!" I yelled, "Did you use me for your mission?! Did you use those friends of yours to try and get close to me because you saw curse residuals? Why? Why pursue something so harmless?"

"Because of the other Grade 1 and Special Grade using that Special Grade curse as cover."

"I don't care," I said simply looking at him, "Where were the Jujutsu Sorcerers when other curses lurked about? Nowhere, so all of a sudden they gave a damn! And then you go and kill m-my mother..."

The tears fell thick and fast as that last word left my mouth.

"My mother is dead..." I muttered as I caught my breath, "You probably have been trained to kill spirits much stronger than my mother's but do you ever feel guilty about exorcising someone you care about's life?"

Gojo looked at me as I looked at him out of hysteria. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. My chin trembled as if I was a small child. I breathed heavier than I ever had before. I was gasping for air that simply wasn't there.

"When that day comes, you will know how it feels to lose someone you care about and how it feels to be trapped with the idea that you will never see those you care about!" I yelled as I glared at the man with tear-stained eyes.

The voice reverberated off the whites wall of the room, familiar yet somehow foreign in its invasion. They were told never to utter and they came from my lips, words that held power coated under a dreadful and hurting tone, but they had only ever been directed from me once because of the consequences that had happened after I said that to someone, now they were words that I knew would prick goosebumps at Gojo's skin.

He wasn't moving nor was he reacting, he remained still as if he was under a spell, every muscle stopped dead in place and his nerves raging with a concoction of vehemence.

At the moment, I couldn't care, I was trying to break out of my constraints and distraught with everything that was happening. I was ultimately broken.

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Dividers from PrincessIchigo on aminoapps.com