old friends

we need to talk

'we need to talk.'

was the only thing clay had said in response to riley telling clay everything. like everything everything. what happened, how sorry she was, how much she wishes she could undo it, how sorry she was (again), her anxieties, how scared she was of her mom dying, how sad she was for her brother, how sorry she was (because she was really sorry), and how she felt about him. and that she understood if he didn't feel the same.

'we need to talk.'

was the only thing erin had said in response to riley not only not taking her advice, but also ignoring her calls and snaps.

'we need to talk'

was the only thing nick had said in response to clay and erin both telling him what had happened.

'we need to talk.'

was the only thing that riley could think about.

how do you even respond to something like the at? 'yeah we do' or 'no shit dude' or 'i know' or something else entirely? they all sounded stupid. riley didn't know what to say, so she drove to clays house instead. she'd figure out how to deal with erin and nick later.

standing at the door reminded riley of her time as a girl scout, going door to door trying to sell cookies. maybe she should have brought a box, maybe that would help her sell an apology.

she knocks on air, taking in a breath before knocking loudly a few times.

there's a brief pause when clay opens the front door, both of them mentally stumbling over their words, unsure of what to say. their eyes scan each other, taking in the small changes.

riley cleared her throat, about to speak before clay pulls her into a hug.

he's missed her. a lot.

"i'm mad at you," he says softly, playing gently with the ends of her hair, "i understand, ri, i really do, but i'm mad."

riley nods, a lump in her throat. it's overwhelming, all of this, and she can't help but want to break down because of it.

she manages not to cry.

they enter his house and he gets them water, before sitting down at separate ends of his couch to have an adult conversation.

patches immediately snuggles up with riley, having missed her almost as much as clay had.

"i care about you, riley," clay starts off, getting her attention easily, "a lot. and when you ghost me for almost three weeks, it makes me feel like you don't care about me."

"i do," riley says softly, "a lot."

clay nods, "i know, but sometimes it feels like you don't. and i know how stressful it is for you right now, but it hurts me when you do that."

riley nods, tears beginning to form in her eyes. god she's an emotional bitch sometimes. he's not even yelling at her and she's still about to cry like a baby. not even that, she's about to cry like a baby about something she caused.

"i'm sorry." her voice cracks and she reaches up to wipe her eyes before she has a full on breakdown.

but she still does anyways, because before she knows it she's in clays arms and sobbing because he's 'not mad' anymore, and is instead 'disappointed' which hurts way more.

clay understands, he really does.

i mean, covid is stressful enough as it is, but having to take care of your little brother, having to finish college online in a completely different state, and having to worry about whether or not your mom will get to see you graduate--clay can't imagine it.

riley spends the night at his house.

for the first time in a long, long time, things feel normal.

his arms wrapped around her, her arms wrapped around patches, and taylor swift playing softly in the background.

it's normal. it's good.

she just wishes peaches was there.

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HEY GUYS ITS ME AGAIN LONG TIME NO SEE HOW ARE YOU DOING????!????????

anyway sorry for not updating in a while i have been not doing well recently (i am ok though) because my birthdays soon and i'm terrified of getting older hahahaha 😁

anyways i had a breakdown a few days again and now i'm back and better than ever!

more mama leishman coming soon