Fixation

Chapter o010

Maia Jones

Some Jesus was precisely what I needed on this muggy, sunny Sunday morning, I awakened promptly from my restless slumber then hurriedly got decent so I could circumvent the questionable looks from the ushers and mothers of my church. Ever since I have begun dating Reuben I have been continuously tardy to Sunday worship service, and I know I needed to get my ass in gear—though I just agreed to marry him; I still wanted to keep majority of my morals intact.

Fine job you are doing, you have now not only allowed him to seduce you into wearing any underwear on your first date, but to also have a quickie with him only upon your second meeting—Lest not mention you adore all the dirty deeds he does to you…

Girl, I’d say you abandoned your morals a while ago.

I sighed as I racked my fingers through my hair as I stared at my reflection in the mirror… What was I allowing this man to do to me?

When did I turn into this shadowy image of my former, sane self?

Upon meeting Reuben, I was a clear thinking woman, whose only concern in the world was whether I was going to buy groceries first that month or pay the trash bill.  Only being together a little less than a month, not only have I slept with him countless of times but I agreed to marry him in hopes of him achieving ownership of his dying grandfather’s multibillion dollar company. .. Man, where the hell did I lose control.

The moment you answered Reuben’s message on that damned dating website.

For the first time in a really long time, I agreed with my subconscious.

Cupping my hands under the cold running water, I then flung the small pool of water onto the heated, stressed skin of my face. I repeated the task over and over until I gasped from the chills surging up and down my spine.

I had to get a grip, and I had to learn how to resist Reuben—If we were going to be married, even if were a sham or not, I had to learn to put my foot down and voice my concerns. I could not be his doormat, that is not how my mother raised me to be. If he wanted Maia Jones to be his wife, he was going to have a strong-willed, stubborn one on his hands.

Walking out the bathroom, I plopped down on the couch of my living room, even though today would be the golden opportunity to tell my family of my engagement to Reuben, I took the latter approach and decided to avoid Sunday dinner altogether.

The first one in nearly two years.

The first time had been when my mother and I had a little, nonsensical tiff and I called myself getting back at her by not attending our family’s annual dinner. It broke her heart and it killed me to see how truly I hurt her by not coming. Just like right at this moment the guilt was eating away at the lining of my heart.

I fidgeted with the crucifix that was held around my neck by a flimsy gold chain, debating to stick to my guns and remain inside the comforts of my own home and try to figure out a means of telling my folks that I am indeed engaged to be married, and that my pockets are going to be so damn fat that I could buy M.C. Hammer’s ass out of debt?

Or shall I suck it up and be with the ones who actually keep my head on straight—A chance to crack jokes with my father, argue with Andrea, poke fun at Jada and snuggle up to my mommy… All the while eating some of the best damned soul food that the Lord blessed any hands to cook. I took a deep breath, and grabbed my clutch off of the coffee table and headed for the front door.

……………………………………………..

“About time you got here, Risky, I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”