Star Wars Oneshots

Aunt Peli, part 2

A/N: prequel, a few days earlier. Another Tumblr prompt.

Also, due to writing my new Jangobi story, what would you rather have me do? Have that thing done later and publish here about every 3-4 days, or have it done sooner and publish here between every 5-9 days?

Boba's Point of View

Boba lounged on his throne as some good-for-nothing scoundrel pleaded a case for themself. He already knew they weren't going to be punished, at least by him; he just liked to watch them squirm a little. In this case, it was a youngish yellow-skinned Twi'lek who was caught with some Deathsticks.

Kids these days. Boba would have to make sure Grogu didn't get into any spice, ever. Boba jerked his head up off the throne, the lengthy explanation the Twi'lek was giving mere background noise. Scanning the room, he realized there were at least seven separate torture chambers leading off from the throne room alone.

He held up a hand at the Twi'lek, and their jabbering stopped immediately. "You may go," he growled, and the Twi'lek seemed unsure if this was a trap. Boba waved his hand once more, and they left to scamper up the steps and back onto the harsh sands of Tatooine.

"Fennec!" he called, and Fennec emerged from behind a curtain in a dining booth. "Would the stairs kill Grogu?"

"If he tripped? Yes," Fennec said in her usual deadpan tone. "He'd roll to the bottom."

"We'll have to replace those, then. Maybe a slide?"

"How would we get out?" Fennec rolled her eyes. "I'll just put up a baby gate at the top and bottom, so if he wants to get in or out, he'll have to get one of you to do it."

"All right," Boba conceded. "What about those shackles?" He pointed at some chains attached to the throne. 

"He could be strangled."

"Okay, those have to go. What about this throne?" Boba petted an arm lovingly.

"He could fall off headfirst and crush his skull open."

"Fennec!" Boba grimaced. "Not so gruesome, please."

"I thought you liked gore," she remarked.

Boba groaned. "Not when it comes to my kid! So maybe we should add some padding on the floor around the throne?" 

Fennec nodded.

"What about those torture chambers?"

"Did you even just ask that?" Fennec snorted, exasperated. "There are spikes he could impale himself on! Bacteria in vials that, if smashed, would eat his fleshy face alive! Crap holes he could fall into that I'm sure still have residue even after we got the cleaning guy in. Can't we just close the doors on those things for good?"

"But intimidation! How am I going to intimidate people into complying when I don't have any torture chambers on display?" Boba whined.

"You'll just have to do without."

"Fine. What about the rancor pit?"

"Yes, Boba!" Fennec yelled. "Yes, that would kill Grogu! Obviously! Use your pea-sized brain, you utreekov!"

"Fine," he huffed. "Get rid of that, too."

Fennec nodded curtly and moved to leave the room. "Oh, and Boba? From what I've heard, it's not so much what would kill him, but more what he could use to kill you if you hurt his dad."

"Why would I hurt Din?" Boba exclaimed. "He's my..."

"Yes?" Fennec quirked an eyebrow.

Boba sighed, defeated. "We're dating," he explained.

"Ooooooh, Cara is going to get such a big 'I-told-you-so' later," Fennec smirked. "She owes me ten credits."

"How long have you two had a bet going?" Boba demanded.

Fennec just grinned.

Mando'a translations:

Utreekov = idiot