Star Wars Oneshots

Aftermath of Umbara (TCW)

TW: nightmares, implied suicidal thoughts

Rex's Point of View

Rex woke with a start, breathing hard. His wild eyes searched for something in the darkness that he couldn't find. The sweat on his forehead as he sat up was a physical reminder of the nightmare that ended just moments ago, when he finally thrashed awake. The sheets were tangled around his legs, and he kicked them off, trying not to hyperventilate. Anything that constricted him too much reminded him of the armor that betrayed his brothers on Umbara and sent him spiraling. Even now, he squeezed his eyes shut against the memory.

Something creaked on the other side of the room, and Rex instinctively reached for his pistols, finding nothing.

"Hey," Ahsoka whispered, padding over to his bed in her socks. Rex sagged back against the pillows. How had he forgotten about her? "What do you need?"

Rex wasn't sure what he needed, besides all his fallen brothers back. Ahsoka shouldn't have to stay in his room, tending to him oh-so-kindly at all hours of the night. But he had to admit her presence calmed him, and though the cuddles she gave were different from those of his brothers, they were still nice.

So Rex opened his arms for a hug, and Ahsoka silently slid into his embrace and snuggled closer. He ran one hand along her lekku, closing his eyes as Ahsoka rubbed small circles into his back. It was soothing like this, and Rex soon found himself drifting off.

He was jolted awake what seemed like moments later by Ahsoka shaking his shoulders gently. He couldn't remember the details of the dream, only that he was now quivering.

"Rex?" she asked worriedly, her eyes full of concern.

"I'm here," he sighed, glancing towards the window.

"Do you want some tea?" Ahsoka said, giving Rex's shoulder a quick squeeze.

Rex nodded, and Ahsoka walked off to the small kitchen unit to prepare it.

Rex stood up and opened the curtains, revealing the Coruscant skyline, glittering and alive. Ever since Umbara, Rex had been unable to sleep through the night, and Ahsoka was all too willing to make it as comfortable for him as possible.

He would never get over watching Waxer die and being unable to do anything about it. And because he had ordered his men to shoot them down... Rex knew it wasn't his fault. But he couldn't help but want to do something totally irrational to make the flashbacks stop.

Ahsoka returned with the tea, and Rex took it, absentmindedly sipping on it. He watched hovercars fly past the window as Ahsoka sank onto the mattress.

After a while of sitting in silence, Ahsoka said, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Rex set down the mug and watched his fingers pick at the pillowcase. "Yeah, I know."

Ahsoka scooted closer. "I just...." She trailed off and paused. "I'm worried about you," she finished. "If you had died on Umbara, or if you die later, I don't know what I'm going to do. You are what keeps the 501st going. You keep Anakin going. We just... all of us need you to survive."

Rex furrowed his brow. Had she guessed what thoughts plagued him? Could she be the same way? How many men had they found too late? A hazard of being at war was that everyone had access to weapons, a fact Rex worried about every time one of his mates wandered off with that look in their eyes. Sometimes, he assumed, he must look the same way.

"I can't promise anything," Rex replied finally, "but I won't go down without a fight."