Prisoner's Key: A Luca Balsa X Reader

Dust Settled, Dread Settled: Crescendo

TW//: Described disassociation, alluding to past verbal/mental abuse and/or manipulation.

Y/N's POV:
I know what it feels like to be lied to out of selfishness or blind narcissism. I've experienced unruly streams of gaslighting, manipulation, and the consequences of giving out blind trust far too many times now. At the very least I'm completely aware that the extent of this turmoil shouldn't drench an individual my age. There's no reason for any one person to have to face so much uncertainty. Here I sit, a survivor who's strength only I underestimate right now. Pondering, pondering... He's not lying on purpose, is he? Luca wouldn't have any reason for lying about something that serious. Not because I know him as such a good man, but because generally speaking, he wouldn't benefit from tricking total strangers into believing he lost so much of his memory. He admitted a murder to everyone in the manor without ever having found out whether he was framed or not. His headaches are consistent, there's no high or drug trip that comes with taking the medication often, and he's annoyed that the frequent bathroom breaks mess up his focus from all the water he drinks trying to swallow the pills down. I feel as though I would've seen some other sign indicating a manipulation tactic by now. My thoughts are muddying themselves, the ticking from the clock isn't helping either. It has a small shine glaring back at me from the window's light reflecting off of it's glass, this both saturated the clock's hands and partially hid them behind a slanted sheet of luminescence. Eventually the pragmatic train of thought just trailed off somewhere. I was left alone with the ticking. "Was I too eager?", I ask myself, "He got past my walls before I had a chance to put them up. Am I blinded by my adoration for him?.. I shouldn't- I won't be in denial about this. Whatever answer he gives won't go without questioning". I repositioned myself, planted firmly on the bedside.
When the ticking faded in and out of my thoughts, with it went memories from past verbal aggressions. They kept flashing by in soft visuals but loud snippets. "-Tock... Tick...", the clock fell into uncomfortably familiar territory. My thoughts only got more dreary. "-ck... Tock... Tick... Tock...", I was so caught up in my head that I hadn't noticed my vision cross and reality seamlessly disappear. It was as if the room simply wasn't, and the air wasn't, and time wasn't. The longer the memories rolled, the more I felt stings from old conversations. With a creak from the door, I jumped so bad I felt my eyes on the verge of partially watering. An impulsive wipe hid the tiny teardrops as Luca entered from the hall. My subconscious was still in the past, I didn't realize my body was tense, bracing itself for another round of psychological bashing. Luca closed the door behind him, walking over to stand before me. He was about to tell me what happened with Lucky. "Good news-", nothing happened, but his voice was enough to make me flinch. He took notice. "Y/N you okay? What happened?" he knelt closer to me on one knee. I already wasn't looking at him but the proximity made me want to look further. Luca noticed that too and quietly moved himself backwards towards the chair in the room's corner. My head snapped back to look at him, I felt bad, it occured to me that he might think it's his fault I'm acting odd. "Don't- don't blame yourself," I exclaimed, "I'm lost in thought. Please, continue with what you were saying. I'll be okay, and you don't have to worry about me forgetting it before you're done". His face was riddled with worry and uncertainty, the expression read "Are you sure?" without him saying anything at all. I pat the bedside and made room for him to come next to me, providing a smile we both knew was fake but served it's purpose in saying, "Yes, you're fine". He made his way over and proceeded forwarding what had took place. "He wasn't as angry as I thought he'd be", Luca stated, "Angry. But not furious. It's being placed on my shoulders for the accountability like I had hoped, so it's nice to know that you're in the clear". I put a hand on his, my wrist rested on his thigh. "I'll apologize anyways. I still distracted you from your task and risked your health", I said. He pat me, rubbing the back of my head. "You are one admirable soul, darling", Luca complimented, "Ah- but what made him most upset was that we had stayed there so long. Asleep... Without a plan or schedule... During a time where we may or may not have been trapped there if we had gone any sooner than midnight. With... Maintenance coming up. Which are of course valid concerns but we didn't go before midnight obviously! So he knocked like... An hour off of the 5 hours of community service he assigned me initially". After I processed that information, I turned to him with a slow blink, "Well when you put it that way- Yes. Yes I'm also surprised at how calm Lucky was with you. Is five- well, four hours a lot"? He suddenly looked dead inside, "Normally? No. When you're assigned to help Murro with his room for two hours however, it feels like an eternity. So I have that to look forward to this Friday". He hung his head in his hands, "Afterwards, I spend the other two hours being Vera's guinea pig. All that perfume is gonna be a killer migraine". I pat his back, this time with a genuine and entertained smile. Luca lifted his head, "Oh", he lifted the rest of himself. He turned his body my way, crossed his legs and took my hand in his. "Whatever it is, I'm ready. Let's talk this out together", he was so sweet in tone. I had to keep my wits with me, my mind made a blank slate for the information he'd feed me. No denial, no wishful thinking.
"Luca...", I spoke. "Y/N...", he waited. "This is abrupt of me, but for clarity, grant me whatever truth you can that won't trigger or upset you. Is that okay with you?" I had anticipated needing to reiterate my choice of words but he nodded. I took a breath,