𝐅𝐈𝐗 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓™

J'lani Brewster

J'lani Brewster

Looking down from the pinkish- blueish ombre color of the evening sky, I took a pull from the blunt my bestfriend held out to me. I saw kids playing on the park. That gave me a feeling a nostalgia. I remember when we would wake up at 7am and go play the whole day. Nowadays, kids be to into technology to see the real world. They only worried about who got the most followers on Instagram or what the latest trend is.

Blue and white cars circled the park. Police. I scoffed and I looked over the park, at the teenage boys one more time before dropping the blunt and walking towards them.

"Lani, don't!" My bestfriend said. She tried to grab me, but I quickly pushed her hand off of me.

As I walked towards them, I could see one of them look at me. He tapped the boy next to him and pointed at me. Soon, they all looked at me.

"Yeah. You niggas got caught." I thought.

"You motherfuckers selling my shit while cops and kids out here?" I asked them once I got closer. The diamond kaleidoscope sparkle of panic in their eyes and the sweet smell of fear that radiates from the boys made me happy.

"M-my bad. I- I ain't know-" One of the boys started.

"So you not paying attention to your surroundings?" I cut him off, asking.

He ain't respond." You niggas not even being discreet with this shit. Let them pigs see that shit, y'all gone be behind bars. They gone take y'all education, y'all lives, and puppet y'all in prison."

One of them adjusted they hoodie and looked at me. When we made eye contact, they looked down. I made a mental note to talk to them.

They all nodded they to say they understood, but they actions didn't show it. I know it ain't right for children to be selling drugs, but I rather them do it under me and not somebody who wouldn't give a fuck.

"How much did y'all make?" It was 7 seven of em and about 2000 dollars.
"Whatever y'all made keep it. Spend it wisely. Now go home and be safe.

Giving me daps and head nods, they all went their ways. One of them stopped to tie their shoe.

"Ayden." I called her.

She looked at me and sighed. "I ain't do nothing, so was is it?" She asked.

Ayden was a chill and cool person. She kept her grades up and played basketball. What I didn't understand was why she hung around the people she around. They gave off fake and toxic vibes and I didn't want her around that. Then again, I couldn't control what she did, but I could guide her. Sometimes the best I could do is be there for her.

She just needed guidance. A woman's guidance. I couldn't fully understand her. But I was gonna be her shoulder to cry on, my arms were gonna be cage of encouragement and love that she could lock herself in anytime she needed and more.

"Why you out here like this?"

She looked away. She couldn't because she was always a honest person, so she wouldn't answer my question. "I'm pregnant."

I was silent. My thought process shut down for a second. All I could do was stare at her.

"Who's the father?" That was the first question I could think of.

"I don't know." Ayden answered honestly.

I shook my head. "Come get in my truck. Ima take you home."

We walked to my truck. My bestfriend unlocked them and Ayden went to open my back door, but I grabbed it for her. She looked shocked at my gesture, but didn't say anything. She hopped in and I closed the door.

"She don't even know the basics of how a woman suppose to be treated." I thought.

When I got in my truck, I peeped Cienna look at Ayden and rolled her eyes. I was confused as to why she did that. I wasn't gon press the issue, but I am gonna ask about that later.

15 minutes later, I dropped Cienna to her place. When she got out of my truck, she slammed the door.

"Damn. She mad as fuck." Ayden stated from the backseat.

I chuckled.

"Why don't you know know who the father is?" I asked her.

"I don't remember having sex with a man." She said as she put her head down.

"Remember!?" I thought.

How the fuck did you not remember having se-

She must have been drugged. But how? I almost blew a fuse in the truck, but stress not gon help her nor the baby.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"Nah. I took 3 pregnancy tests tho."

"What made feel like you was probably pregnant to the point you wanted to take a test?" I asked. I wanted to know these things to be on the safe side.

She sighed. I could feel her getting frustrated. "I threw up twice yesterday morning and my aunt saw. She told me is was possible that I was pregnant. She went and got the tests. When she came back, I took them. We waited and when we saw 1 line-" Her voice broke. "She called me "hoe" and kicked me out; I stayed with Tyrek last night."

This shit crazy. This is why children make mistakes that could avoided. She gets pregnant and the first thought is to kick her out. You are supposed to guide her on the right path to have a safe pregnancy and support her decisions. Yeah it might be disappointing that she 15 and pregnant, but you gotta suck that up and remember that you was once a child. But, everybody don't think like me. Her aunt sad as fuck and Ima pay her a visit.

"You gon stay with me." I told her. Her head whipped towards me.

"But what about my aunt?" Ayden asked. "She has custody of me and been having it for years. They won't just give me up easily."

"Let me handle that. Anything you want out of you aunt house, we'll get it in the morning. You staying at my place tonight, aight?" I told her. She nodded.

Hearing knocking on his window, he looked over to see Cienna. He rolled his window down.

"Why you still parked in front my house?" Cienna questioned with an attitude.

I looked at her long and hard before hearing laughter. I turned to see Ayden laughing.

"My bad for laughing. She just look like Brittany from Alvin and the Chipmunks when she mad." She said, almost in tears.

I burst out laughing. The thing that made it more funny was seeing the shocked expression on Cienna face.

I pulled my window up and pulled off from her house and headed towards mine. When we got there, Ayden went to the room she sleeps when comes over and I went into mines.

I went in my bathroom and stared at my reflection. I see the progress in my self everyday. 3 years ago, I would have never done this.

I'm changing for the better.

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Be honest: Is this better than the first version?

I need feedback. Talk to me.