Running Solo

Chapter 1 - Losing Hope

All men are not created equal. That's a lesson I had to learn at a very young age. My dream of becoming a hero was what sparked my story, however, what really started it was the crushing reality that my dream was just that. A dream. It took a lot for me to see that. Even the knowledge that I didn't have and would never get a quirk didn't end my dream for me. Neither did the bullying and the hatred. Not even the betrayal of my best friend could end my dream.

When I finally came face-to-face with my hero, the person who had sparked my dream, and he himself told me that my dream was unrealistic, I finally started to lose hope in my dream. Later that day when I tried to save Kacchan, I gained a little of my hope back. I felt that maybe I had proven people wrong about me. However, after the pro heroes got mad at me for risking my life, especially since I hadn't even really done much of anything to help, I lost all hope. No one would ever accept me. I'd always just be a burden.

As soon as the pros finished getting mad at me and I was free to leave, I started the depressing walk home. I clutched my bag strap tightly in one hand as I stared in disgust at the hero analysis notebook in my other. I wanted to throw it out, but something inside me wouldn't let me. I sighed and looked up. Where am I? I asked myself as I looked around. I'd been so focused on my thoughts that I hadn't been paying attention to my surroundings. Then I realized where I was. For some reason I'd unconsciously walked to the building where I had talked with All Might. I looked up and felt compelled to go up to the roof.

I froze in the doorway when I reached the roof. My conversation with All Might replayed in my mind, and everything just came crashing down around me. I walked over to the ledge of the roof in a daze. I looked over the railing at the city below and then collapsed to my knees. My backpack fell off of my shoulders as I stared at the ground in front of me. What am I supposed to do now? What can I do now? I asked myself as tears flowed down my face and into my lap.

I looked back at the city stretching below me. The building seemed to be a lot taller than I had originally thought. I looked back down at the notebook in my clenched fists. I sniffed and wiped my tears away. I reached behind me and grabbed my bag. I held it for a minute, collecting my thoughts, then I opened it and pulled out a pen. I dropped my bag, opened to a blank page at the end of my notebook and began writing.

Mom,

I'm sorry that I couldn't be who you wanted me to. I'm sorry that I couldn't even protect myself. Honestly, I don't really know what to say. I guess, I'm just tired. I can't just stand by anymore. I'm done with it all. The hatred and the disappointment. The helplessness. I wish that I could be talking to you in person, to see how you would react, but I don't know if I could take your disappointment. You're the one person I never wanted to disappoint. I'm sorry that I can't be there for you anymore. I'll try and find somewhere else to suffer. Someone else to disappoint. Don't know where that's going to be yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Love, Izuku

"Hah, I'm sorry Mom. I really don't want to hurt you. I just hope that you can let me go and find someone who can make you happy. Someone useful who won't leave you. Someone different from me and dad." I said sadly.

I ripped out my note and folded it with shaking fingers. Then I tucked it into the front pouch of my bag. Hopefully my mother would see it when she found my bag. I stood up shakily. I could do this. Just one jump and the pain would end. I wouldn't be a burden anymore. Maybe Mom wouldn't have to work so hard. Maybe Kacchan could finally be happy. I didn't know. I gripped the railing in front of me, trying to convince my body to move. Over the railing and over the edge. But I couldn't move.

I don't know how long I stood there, gripping the railing, unable to move. It must have been a while, though, because my legs finally gave out and I collapsed into a heap. I couldn't move. I just laid there and cried. I couldn't do this. I didn't want my Mom to hurt anymore. I guess I would just find an easy job where I could help people. Maybe a lawyer or a doctor? I sighed as my tears finally started running out. I grabbed my bag and rested against the railing behind me. I sighed again and started going through my notebook. Looking back at all of the effort I had put into it, into becoming a hero, made me want to cry again. There were no tears, though. My eyes were dry as my emotions overcame me.

CLICK!! The sound of the roof door shutting pulled me back to myself. I looked up at the roof door in dread. What else was going to torture me today?

A/N - Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Running Solo! I know I really enjoyed writing it. I'm excited for the chapters to come and i hope you're also looking forward to them! I have like seven chapters written, but I'm hoping to have a few more people read before I share them all. Please comment so that I know that it's not just me checking for comments. I'm pretty sure most of the current reads are from me checking.-_-

Chapter edited 04/14/22