SO BEAUTIFUL °sʜᴏᴡᴋɪ°

So beautiful

Kihyun had been told he could go back home that day. As he was staring through the foggy window, all he could think was that he definitely didn't want to go home. The simple thought of seeing Hyunwoo was messing him up inside, making every fiber of his being ache. What a dumbass he was, putting his group's reputation at risk and talking in such a way to his leader. He knew Shownu worried for him as he did for every single one of his members in an almost fatherly way. Kihyun knew Shownu was worried for him as a friend and deeply loved the youngest as a friend. He hated the way his own mind sometimes messed him up and made him believe that he didn't matter at all for the oldest man. It wasn't because Hyunwoo wasn't in love with him that he didn't love him. His brain was so stupid himself. 

Kihyun felt his breath pick up and he tried to calm it. When it was somewhat done, he closed his eyes and tried to relax. He could still hear the rain falling outside, hitting the window and slowly creating a little bubble around him. Thinking about nothing, eyes closed, he could almost feel light for the first real-sober-time in days. His moment of peace was though soon to be interrupted as a knock on the door was heard. Kihyun sat back on his bed, intrigued. The person wasted no time in entering the room, making Kihyun's heart stop. 

Hyunwoo had always had this effect on him lately. Making his world stop or tilt slightly, like an explosion in his life. Just by existing. Even if the main vocalist had to admit Hyunwoo looked rather horrible at the moment.

-Hey...I came to get you home.

Seeing him hurt as always. Knowing he was the one behind Hyunwoo's hurt made him feel more guilty than ever.

-I can walk home alone, thank you.

Kihyun was quick to grab his jacket and put it on his back. At this point, Hyunwoo was determined to stop the younger boy from running away once more.

-Kihyun, that's ridiculous, it's raining outsi-
 
It wasn't surprising when Kihyun started running away in the hallways of the hospital. He was running like something was chasing him as if he wasn't running away from his own feelings and problems. He couldn't handle it-Couldn't handle being close to Hyunwoo without his heart exploding and his brain becoming all funny. He couldn't do it anymore, couldn't keep being hurt that way. Couldn't keep hurting his friend like that. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore. It was killing him, how fear was holding him down even when he wanted to hold his hyung so tightly. He was sure he would die because of said boy, he couldn't keep supporting all this. It was a love of sorrow, which played in his heart like a cry of pain. His soul was a prisoner of this solar love. It was like Hyunwoo was going in his head then leaving him alone in the dark.

And the second Hyunwoo was Kihyun run away, he knew he couldn't let him go. Not another him. He didn't accept being left alone another time. This needed to be solved, now. They were both in deep and Shownu was going crazy and had dreamt about him nearly every time this week. Had listened to this stupid song that made him think of Kihyun in repeat. He was always crawling back to the man, but he couldn't help it. He had to know. So he started running too, faster than he ever did in his life. Running fast enough he felt his lungs scream in pain, but he didn't care. Hyunwoo had to know what was happening, had to solve it all. Had to tell the truth. 

The rain was pouring violently all over them, soaking them both. Kihyun had difficulty seeing where he was going, hearing the footsteps behind him. That made him run faster. Until he couldn't run anymore and felt someone catch him in an embrace, pushing him against the nearest wall. Kihyun was shaking, soaking wet, looking at Hyunwoo's wet face. The way he was trying to take his breath back, his eyes looking at him directly. This took Kihyun's breath away. One of Hyunwoo's endless effects on him. He just had to exist and Kihyun felt pulled towards the oldest male, breath stole every time. Shownu held a galaxy in his eyes and being that he seemed to be constantly unaware of. Kihyun had tried to resist but still wanted all. He was a fool, wasn't he? Everything had shattered by his fault. 

Nonetheless, at this moment, it was like the world stopped spinning around both of them. Neither of them had been able to tell how many times they just looked at each other in the eyes, sharing so much emotion. Suddenly, as if pulled out of his trance, under the heavy rain, Kihyun was pulled into a tight embrace by Hyunwoo. The man held him as if he would evaporate, tears rolling down his cheeks. The smaller man could only hold onto his friend and keep him as close as physically possible. He didn't want to let go, crying too but he couldn't stop it. Kihyun just wanted to stay there forever and keep Hyunwoo close like that. He didn't even know what felt true anymore, but Shownu felt right. Shownu always felt right. 

Hyunwoo was shaking by the time they slowly let go of each other. His breath was heavy, the rain now only light. He didn't care about his damp clothes and his hair sticking to his face, he just wanted to never let go of Kihyun. To stare at him forever. Hyunwoo just wanted Kihyun's heart. What he was, his sorrows, and the rest. He imagined so much of the youngest thing, complicit insomnia and drowning in his vices. He just wanted his heart. Yet, no word could ever hold enough meaning to show how truly Shownu loved his bandmate. There was nothing that could possibly show him the expense of his feelings; those he couldn't even feel guilty of at this very moment.

-Kihyun…

His breath was still heavy. His voice was quiet, like a whisper that only Kihyun could hear.

-I'm in love with you.

For the umpteenth time, the time seemed to have stopped. The sincerity in Hyunwoo's eyes was enough to make Kihyun feel all fuzzy inside. Like all his worries had been lifted from his shoulders, leaving him in a trance where nothing else existed other than Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo and his eyes with a galaxy in them, Hyunwoo and his heavenly smile. Hyunwoo and endlessly giving heart and warm embrace. And lastly, Hyunwoo and his soft lips melted against Kihyun with the perfect mix of urgency and love. Kihyun wanted to die in his arms, kissing him back as nothing else existed. The tallest man thought that if that was what heaven was, he'd gladly die now. He wanted to kiss him until the end of times, feel his endlessly soft lips against his for the rest of his life. Even when they parted away, the sweetest taste stayed on their lips before they connected their mouths again. Both boys kissed like that for god knows how long, practically becoming one. Kihyun's body felt so warm against his own, feeling those hands he loved so much in his neck as he was holding the smaller man's waist. 

-So beautiful, the older man whispered against his bandmate's lips. It made him smile.

-Are you talking about yourself?

Kihyun couldn't find himself to break the moment. He was smiling, softly, holding his hyung like there was no tomorrow in the softest way possible. A smile rose on the latter's lips too and Kihyun couldn't feel better than at this moment.

-I'm in love with you too, said Kihyun. Because even if he knew Hyunwoo knew, he felt the need to say it. He needed to say it out loud. At this moment, the leader felt like his heart might burst. He was melting inside. This was all he needed to hear.

-Then why don't you kiss me again? What are you waiting for?

Kihyun kissed him again. He couldn't get enough.

Truly, so beautiful.