[FIFTEEN]the deer

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN // THE DEER
"I DON'T KNOW TEDDY BEAR. BUT, HE'LL PROBABLY BE TOO BUSY FIGHTING OFF WALKERS TO MAKE PRESENTS."

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

Jade watched from the window in the back of the RV as Rick led Shane, Daryl, Glenn, and Nick out into the woods after Rick had questioned the Horvath about where she had last scene Sophia. She watched as Carol stood beside the rail, watching the small group retreat.

The Horvath girl's heart felt heavy as she watched the hurting mother stare into the forest, she felt entirely guilty for losing sight of where Sophia was, for losing the young girl entirely. When Rick returned alone, having not found Sophia on the way as the group had hoped, Carol was absolutely crushed. Jade didn't want to imagine the pain the woman was going through.

As Rick explained how he hadn't seen the young girl, Jade could feel Carol's glare on the side of the face as though it was burning through her skin. Jade had wished to go out into the forest, look for the child she felt guilty and protective over, but she had been ordered to stay behind and rest, as everyone could clearly see she was troubled. Her ankle no longer ached, it was only slightly red and lightly bruised.

She sat down on the bed, resting her elbows on her knees with her palms pressed against the back of her neck. Her breathing was insanely uneven, her chest felt like there was a ton of bricks pressed against it, and it seemed as though the walls of the RV were caving in on her.

Jade wracked her mind, thinking of the last moment she saw Sophia, trying to remember if there was something she might have missed. Her hands shook as she pressed them harder against the back of her neck, her eyes were filled with tears as he breathing became even more uneven.

Her chest felt more constricted as time passed, her short breaths becoming more sporadic. There were a million thoughts running through her mind as she looked around the small room.

She thought back to the countless amount of panic attacks she endured throughout her adolescent years, trying to remember the few ways she had to deal with them. Her eyes focused onto an empty water bottle lying on the floor as she attempted to steady her breathing.

Tears dripped onto her pant legs as she silently sobbed. She felt absolutely horrible for what had happened to Sophia, that she had been stupid enough to let her foot get caught, that she hadn't realized she left the highway without a real weapon.

The minutes passed by like hours, her eyes were bloodshot and her eyes were red. Shane was heard outside, barking orders to the group and telling them that Rick and Daryl were on Sophia's trail. She knew Shane was probably attempting to distract the group from the crisis at hand so they wouldn't sit around, biting their nails, instead of doing something that could help them.

Jade felt useless as she sat there, doing nothing but dealing with the demons in her head. If she would have just focused more on the forest floor, she never would have gotten stuck and she would've gotten Sophia back to her mother safe and sound. Her breathing was barely steadied as she sat still, not taking her eyes off the bottle that laid on the ground.

"Hey, Jade?" Glenn started as he walked through the door of the RV. "I can't find the flathead in tool-" The Korean finally noticed the Horvath's state as he walked further into the vehicle. When he looked to the back of the RV, he expected to see the girl either reading or resting in the back on the bed, but was thoroughly surprised and worried at the girls state.

Glenn immediately thought back to when they were exiting the CDC, specifically to Jades panicked state. He ran towards her, sliding down onto his knees in front of the girl. He took her face in his hands, gently moving her head to look down at him, their gazes meeting.

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