𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 (EDITING)

Chapter 10 {Confusion and Mourning}

-Eliza's POV-

My mind was racing as I continued to walk to my old home... It was hard to believe that Laurie tried to kiss me and I didn't kiss him back no matter how much I wanted to. I just couldn't do it and I couldn't understand why... 

As I turned the corner to walk to the back of my house, the memories that were made here years ago flooded my mind... When the girls and I played tag, when I made flower crowns with Meg, colored a picture with Amy for my mother, watched deer cross the plains behind the backyard with Beth, and when I talked with Jo about her ideas of stories she wanted to write...

I also thought about my mother, when we fixed up the backyard and planted flowers, finding the bench that we would later sit in under the terribly overgrown grass, helping her walk around so she could get exercise, picking flowers with her and talking about how beautiful they were, and laying in the grass as we made shapes out of the clouds...

My heart ached with sadness and I decided to stop thinking about it, there was something I needed to figure out...

The bench still sat there with a large sheet of snow that had settled on it. My mittens had become a little damp as I wiped the snow off and sat down. The cold and crisp air filled my lungs as I relaxed on the bench. My mind wandered back to the reason why I'm here, why I felt the way I felt about Laurie...

I pulled the journal out of my coat pocket and opened it to the glossary. The pages flipped until I landed on the one I was looking for.

Page 32

My Dear Eliza,

Oh my... You're thinking about boys, aren't you? ;)

I softly giggled and continued to read.

Boys can be the best of friends or even be like a brother to you... But on other occasions, they can be something different... Something more than a friend or a brother... They can be a romantic interest...

There are many signs to let you know when you have feelings for someone such as butterflies in your stomach, a warm feeling on your face, instant relaxation and comfort when you're around them, and that feeling you get when they look at you a certain way...

Those, my dear, are just a few signs of romantic attraction...

I remember when I met your father for the first time, I was sixteen and living in the house we are living in now, or were living in for you, with my mother, (She had just gotten sick and would soon pass only a few months later)...

We had gone to church like we always did on Sunday mornings, except this time there was a new family that moved into town. The Jansen's had moved into the empty storefront and owned a hardware store. 

The Jansen family had arrived late to church that morning, so of course, everyone turned in their pews to see who it was... Mrs. Jansen, Mr. Jansen, and Karl Jansen... The family scanned the room for an empty pew to sit in. As their eyes wandered, Karl's laid upon me and I immediately got butterflies in my stomach. Our eye contact broke when his father guided him to the empty pew, but I would have sworn that we locked eyes for over a minute...