just one peek (dreamnotfound + sapkarl)

feelings

tw// self harm, kind of smut 😳 

and theres fluff :)

the fluff is a gift. do not take it for granted, hehe

» [george's pov] «

George shivered at the thought of being in love with a psychopath. He had some hope left in him that Clay wasn't a psychopath, that he just overreacted. He didn't want to be in love with a psychopath, but his heart disagreed. He flopped over onto his bed, tearing out his hair.

What's wrong with me?

He sighed, disgusted with himself. 

Dream probably hates me for what I said anyways.

You have no chance.

He curled up into a ball, sobbing silently. He sat there for a solid 2 hours crying.

A whiny bitch, that's what you are.

You don't have a reason to cry.

The voice in his head got louder. It pounded in the back of his head, nagging, telling himself to give himself a reason to cry.

Fine.

He went over to his kitchen, drawing a knife. He inspected it carefully. He swallowed, scared at the thought of actually doing it. He remembered hearing about other people doing it, saying, "No, I'd never do that. I'm happy with my life." He'd plaster on a fake smile, hiding how he really felt behind this mask of lies.

He went upstairs to his bathroom, carrying the small knife.

tw starts here. if you are sensitive to this, please do not read it!!

He rolled up his sleeves, crying with whatever tears were left in his eyes. He took the knife, put it to his wrists, and made a slitting motion. He felt pain surge through him, but he didn't care. He kept cutting, every time, going faster and faster. He wanted to let out all the pain he had felt throughout his life.

He slit his arm, staring at the gushing blood. It looked yellow to him. He let out a scream, and wasn't like his normal screams. It was a scream of pain, sadness, loneliness, and anger. 

When he was done, he grabbed a blue shirt he had and wrapped it around his cut filled, bleeding arm. He stared up at his ceiling, crying. 

tw over

God, why am I like this?

He was getting lost in his thoughts until he heard a knock on the door. He slipped on a sweatshirt and hoped his eyes didn't look too bad. He ran down the stairs, opening the door. It revealed no one but Clay.

Of course Dream comes over. Right when I'm crying over him.

Of course.

Clay scratched the back of his head. He moved his hands around nervously, pulling on the strings on his hoodie. He ruffled his hair and sighed.

"Nick said we should watch a movie together. He even recommended the one we should watch." Clay said, averting his eyes.

So he didn't notice I was crying, good.

"Yeah, come inside." George's voice cracked, and he cringed and cursed at himself in his head.

Clay laughed. "I make you nervous?" He started wheezing at his own dumb joke before George could even reply. He stumbled over to the couch.

"Whatever. What did Nick say we should watch?" George mumbled to Clay.

Clay pulled up the movie on George's tv.